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Deleted member 47099
Hmm, my opinion is somewhere in between yours @Sideways and @blackemerald1
I agree with you Sideways, that this is a major wakeup call and I do think that professional help should be sought.
However, I agree with Blackemerald1 that this also shouldn't be over-dramatised. The least helpful response is for Innordinate to blame himself as a parent and to catastrophise this.
I think his son has got underlying issues, else this wouldn't have escalated so quickly and so strongly. And they've been going on for quite a while and do need to be addressed, because there is potential for this to escalate further.
But to be able to help his son well, imo Innordinate needs to be as calm and rational about this as possible. If he's struggling with issues of blame and doubt in himself, he won't be able to think and see clearly what help his son needs.
I agree with you Sideways, that this is a major wakeup call and I do think that professional help should be sought.
However, I agree with Blackemerald1 that this also shouldn't be over-dramatised. The least helpful response is for Innordinate to blame himself as a parent and to catastrophise this.
I think his son has got underlying issues, else this wouldn't have escalated so quickly and so strongly. And they've been going on for quite a while and do need to be addressed, because there is potential for this to escalate further.
But to be able to help his son well, imo Innordinate needs to be as calm and rational about this as possible. If he's struggling with issues of blame and doubt in himself, he won't be able to think and see clearly what help his son needs.
I totally agree with this. We're all imperfect and always will be. What matters is admitting it and getting the required help. This is what good parents do. Good parents aren't perfect. They just put in the hard work of helping their kids get what they need, especially when that means knowing when to get outside support.you're not failing as a dad if you acknowledge the parts of fatherhood you need help with.