Sexual Assault Why It Is So Hard To Say "it"?

[Heather]

I think the difficulty in saying these words lies within the feeling that it would make it "too real".

I think that is exactly what it is for me. I can't even look at anyone when I talk about it. I just stare at the floor. I feel so ashamed and (for lack of a better word) "icky" inside.

 

[Nyx]

Yes, I think most of us do, at least in the beginning. That's the point of going to therapy and sharing on the forum. Your mind doesn't get blocked anymore.

It's still hard for me to say it, but it's easier than before, I can tell you that. Sometimes it shocks me, or finds me unprepared when my T says it, but I think that's good exposure. In the end, that's the biggest step one can make: accept that it happened.

 

[-lemurlibs91-]

Just saw this thread, I was wondering why I can hear the word in my head and just about be okay but even if I'm trying really hard to say it, it won't come out....? Does anyone else get this?
I flinch and panic if someone else says it, but me saying it out-loud is a completely different ball-game. I'm the same with saying his name. My boyfriend can't seem to understand why an intelligent articulate person can't say a word that they know how to say and can OCCASIONALLY say it in a totally different context, or at least was able to do so before It happened. I can understand his frustration but it just feels terrifying to say it out-loud. Everyone will hear (even though technically there's only two of us in the room, it feels like there are hundreds), and it will be real...

 

[shrinkingviolet]

I understand what you mean. Words aren't always just words. Certain words can cut deep, shake us to our core and bring feelings that overwhelm. I don't know that the R word will ever be released from my lips without anxiety and nausea but I refuse to allow it to diminish me.

 

[Lucycat]

There are a few words that I find triggering and I really try to avoid them. They are not words people would see as upsetting so are commonly used. I have to work hard to stop myself from reacting.