Why My PTSD Treatment Is Involuntary And Extreme

[gdf]

Michel,

I was reading through some more of your posts and you noted above you live in the US...is this a court ordered process you are being subjected to? The length of time and type of therapy as well as your statements about lack of rights sounds like something more in the forensic realm. Not knowing the information keeps us from being able to really respond but I also respect your right not to say more about your situation. I am sorry it is so difficult for you right now. Voluntary of involuntary it's a tough row to hoe.

Gina

 

[Michel]

To be honest, Gina, I am still treated like a patient too severely brain damaged to be provided information about things like the legal conditions under which my therapy is carried out. I have never been accused of a crime. I have not been present at any legal proceedings nor have I been made aware of any of the legal processes that have permitted this approach to my injury. I have been told I was the victim of a very serious crime and that my ignorance of that fact justified the paternalistic actions that have been taken. I am no longer ignorant of this fact but I guess there are some other conditions I must meet before I am given more information. I certainly wonder about it all the time.

 

[Michel]

I know my circumstances are unusual and don't know how helpful it is for anyone else that I keep writing about what's going on, I try not to do so much but sometimes it helps me. I've just had another "exposure" to psychopathic brutality within the psychodrama that is my 24/7 therapy life. My "partner," whom I of course despise, just yelled at me again, got in my face, was insulting, threatening, said "again" I made him feel like throwing me against a wall (sometimes he says I make him feel like choking me). Then he told me to go sleep in some other bed tonight. I hate it here and want nothing more than to leave and never see him or anyone else involved in this therapy again for as long as I live (except for my son). I have nowhere to go - my family is part of the drama therapy too and I can't bear to be with them. I can't get away from the drama. I keep fighting back when they are abusive (as is only natural I think), but maybe I need to stop. But to try to not respond when one is being attacked is unbearably painful, to accept the lie my partner tells when he says he has done nothing to hurt me is unbearable. I get so angry, so anxious, feel psychological pain that is just too much. Were it not for this insane therapy, I would have left this "relationship" a very, very long time ago. I feel like my only options are to keep responding to his cruelty and threats and having to experience the pain of always losing (he's got about 100 pounds on me, is louder, stronger, meaner, it's his house, he is practically my sole source of support...) or stop insisting on the truth and on being treated with respect.

I can't stop caring about the truth or about being treated in such an inescapably cruel and degrading way.

I hate this therapy and I hate my therapists and everyone working with them. For God's sake, I am a human being! I wish they could be made to feel the pain they force me every day to experience. Most of all, I wish I had someone to share this life of mine with - someone whose been through it, knows what it's like to have one's life taken over like this and controlled completely, and be made utterly miserable - all supposedly "for one's own sake." It is maddening.

 

[Michel]

Maybe the point of the therapy is precisely to bring me to the point at which I give up and "accept" degradation and cruelty and lies - to show me there was a good reason I dissociated my way through my marriage...I wish I knew what I needed to accomplish in order to be freed of the drama therapy and move on to something more normal. I would try so hard to reach these goals if I only knew what they were.

 

[James B.]

So sorry all this is happening to you Michel. It must me overwheling and really scary. I read all your posts, so I hope you continue writing, and I certainly and most sincerely wish things will get better for you in the near future.

 

[gdf]

Michel, this one sounds really sticky. If you have access to the internet you might want to go to the American Psychological Association website and check the ethics standards for psychologists. If there are licensed psychologists involved in your treatment they have certain ethical responsibilities regarding the treatment of their patients. Now taking it one step further the APA ethics often find their way into state statute--it is possible that the laws in your state governing the practice of professional psychology are based on them, or not, it is hard to tell but easily found out by contacting the licensing board in your state. You have to get the right board for the right professional. Ask to see a copy of the therapist(s) license(s) who are involved in your case and make note of what board issued them. Asking this can make them nervous but as a patient/consumer it is your right to see them. Any insurance company, federal program or agency (like Medicare or Medicaid) requires certain credentials be in place for reimbursement of a service like therapy or social work. If someone is receiving federal money for treatment there are a slew of rules and regulations defining who may be hired to provide the service.

Every state should have internet access to their licensing databases to at least tell minimum information about the status of a professional's license (valid, expired, current, etc.). When you know who holds the license then you can look at the appropriate board in that state which have ethics codes posted and requirements for practice. Your state attorney general would be another resource to inquire about legalities of your situation. It is also my understanding that each state has federal money set aside for legal assistance for persons with disabilities. In Ohio this takes the form of an organization called Ohio Legal Rights Services--each state should have a counterpart.Based on the information you have given here, it is hard to know exactly what is going on but checking on any of these items is worth a conversation. The worst they could say is "we can't help you." Just some thoughts on your situation--it may be good to research it and talk to a few of the actual agencies and experts to form a better idea of where you stand in relationship to your type of treatment.

 

[Michel]

James B., thank you for following my story and sending good wishes. How important such things can be!

Thank you too, gdf, for your thoughts. My problem though is not that I am unaware that under any state's laws or any professional organization's guidelines, my therapy is clearly forbidden. My problem is that a legal exception has been made in my case, on the grounds that (1) I had suffered a substantial mental injury that made it impossible for me to see that I had been injured or to protect myself from further harm and (2) that this therapy was more likely than any other to cure the brain damage caused by the years of torture I had suffered with my husband. The "treatment" is essentially to force me to undergo again years of torture, without being able to dissociate, while being provided psychoeducation about trauma, torture, and dissociation, and while being treated in more conventional ways with medication and incessant talking and journaling about my relationship with my husband. The legal and ethical requirements of respect and compassion for the patient have been chucked so that this treatment (which no one could possibly doubt would be, without special legal permission, a crime in this country, and would be in any country, a crime against humanity) which is believed will be more "effective" could be used. The idea, that is, is that the ends will justify the means. It won't surprise anyone that while I can give you their justification, I most certainly do not accept it myself.

 

[gdf]

I think the detail in your post above makes the previous posts make more sense (if that makes sense). It sounds like you are really caught in a unique situation. From an advocate's position, it still bothers me that it bothers you but it almost sounds like you see usefulness of the treatment maybe? Any time a person's atonomy is taken away I get very nervous. Hopefully this will all turn out well and it is good you are aware of resources that are out there. God speed.

 

[Michel]

Thank you, Gina. Yes, I do think this "treatment" might work, but I am also certain there are skin rashes that can be got rid of by setting the patient on fire, brain cancers that can be made innocuous by chopping the patient's head off... To my (very simplistic moral mind), there are some things you just don't do to other people - torture is one of those things, long-term torture being so vicious no morally sane physician should consider it, however "productive" it might be; any decent human being should stop treatment that is clearly too cruel for the patient to bear; so far as possible patients should be involved in decision-making and have the final say. And it does remain to be seen whether, having been so "treated" for the initial "course" of torture to which I have been subjected, I will ever be able to recover from having been put through this second course.

In case it would seem otherwise, please do appreciate that I am angry about my therapy, most grateful for your thoughts.