Why Your Family Hates You

[shimmerz]

I just wanted to post this as I found it very interesting. I like this guy, he speaks about narcissism and all sorts of personality and social constructs that seem to be a part of my life.

I hope it helps somebody.

 

[scout86]

Wow! Good. Maybe a little bleak? (HOPE the majority of families aren't actually toxic!) But it was good. Thanks @shimmerz

 

[Hope4Now]

"Your family does not want what is best for you. That's a myth." :wideeyed: It was good for my child parts to hear this stated so bluntly.
Thanks @shimmerz.

 

[Friday]

Wow! Good. Maybe a little bleak? (HOPE the majority of families aren't actually toxic!) But it was good.

LOL... Nope, Scout! My family has it's own brand of crazy (boundaries? Helloooooooo boundaries? Boundaries! Wheeeeere aaaaaaare yoooooooou??? ;) ), but it's not like any of this, at all.

 

[Hope4Now]

@FridayJones, I have to tell you how much I appreciate many of your posts. Your sense of humor about all this stuff is a gift I receive gratefully. You remind me to laugh and be strong. Thanks. I will picture this and try to laugh about it next time I talk to my mother:

Helloooooooo boundaries? Boundaries! Wheeeeere aaaaaaare yoooooooou???

 

[sun seeker]

Mine's not like this, they just... don't care one way or another.

 

[shimmerz]

Mine's not like this, they just... don't care one way or another.

I wish..... *heavy sigh* I would prefer that mine had the guts admit to that really.

 

[sun seeker]

I would prefer that mine had the guts admit to that really.

I wasn't clear. My family haven't actually said this in so many words, they just make it clear through their actions. Well, one of my sisters did tell me fixing our family isn't a priority for her. Other than that, it's just lots of silence and avoidance. I'm the stubborn one who keeps banging my head against the wall trying to wake them up. Would it be easier if they admitted it and I gave up trying? Maybe.

 

[shimmerz]

I'm the stubborn one who keeps banging my head against the wall trying to wake them up.

Got it. Yes. I understand completely.

 

[ihateusernames]

I definitely hope this isn't all families, especially not the one I've created :nailbiting:. But it was certainly mine. My sister called me "the whipping child" growing up (later identified as "scapegoat" by therapists). I guess she thought it was amusing. It was not. It happened a long time ago, but it was so helpful to be able to realize that these things my parents did and said were related to their own issues, not mine. That seems to be more or less what he's getting at and it is a very, very good point. I feel thoroughly blessed to not carry around the self blame that I know so many others do. Maybe this will help somebody out of that.

 

[Escape Goat]

I know my family events are decades old but this is what I grew up with.

It is only this past week that I had my epiphany and finally cut through Mom's façade of being a most beautiful, nurturing, and caring mother and down to her secret and evil plan to destroy my life. What a dichotomy!

Yes, I lived every minute of every day with projecting, mobbing and scapegoating. It happened because I was the most sensitive; the artist. I now recognize their destructive intentions.

At the same time I became this one-boy resistance faction within the freak show war that I grew up in. I acted out in tit-for-tat to insert justification for the inevitable and unjustifiable punishments. They were my "captors", I stayed defiant through it all.

All these years and it all came into focus just now...

Now for my mother whom I no longer love, here's to you Mom...

That song by Gotye: "Now you're just somebody that I used to know"

What a breath of fresh air! TY for sharing, shimmerz!

 

[Nab4]

My family just think I'm crazy and I need to get over this. They think I'm making it up which is the most hurtful thing.
They are embarrassed of me and "disgusted" (her words)of what I say and how I am !
How to I speak to her ever again with this.
She said she's been through worse and compared mines nothing .
I feel like I'm in a nightmare and can't wake up I'm no longer me
My dad has spoken to me but they go together, loose one loose both !