Just wondering if anyone has gone through this. My wife quit her anti-depressants cold turkey about 2 months ago. She said she would rather be dead than take them the rest of her life. I'm trying to respect her choice. But she is on a emotional roller coaster. I want to help her do what is right for her. How long do the meds take to get out of her system? What is a fair amount of time to see if she will feel better without them? Thanks for any input. I'm really at a loss...
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General Wife Not Taking Meds
- Post starter dave42
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cherryblossom
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When I have come off anti-depressants gradually, it has taken me 6-9 months, but that was because I had to reduce them so gradually, because I suffered such bad withdrawal effects. But since she went cold turkey 2 months ago, I would say from what little I know, that these drugs will now be completely out of her system. And physiologically she won't be having any effects from her meds. But it may still take another month or so for her mood to settle, without the drugs.
Whilst medications aren't a solution, and in fact can be shown to be detrimental in some cases, they can also be beneficial. Yes!! I know it's all a bit hit and miss to be honest.
You don't mention whether she is in therapy, and I haven't read any of your other posts, but if she has PTSD then it's pretty unlikely that she will just get better, without some degree of therapy. Specialist trauma therapy would be ideal, but it is also possible to do some self therapy work, using CBT techniques, and exposure therapy. Online therapy is also available these days.
It must be hard for you, because no-one can force anyone to seek help. The demon of PTSD is that you have to want to get 'better', and put in the hard work yourself. Very tough to stand by and watch, if she is self-destructive, but you should try to support her the best you can. I'm sure some other carers/supporters will be along to give better advice than I can, as a 'sufferer'.
All the best
CB
Whilst medications aren't a solution, and in fact can be shown to be detrimental in some cases, they can also be beneficial. Yes!! I know it's all a bit hit and miss to be honest.
You don't mention whether she is in therapy, and I haven't read any of your other posts, but if she has PTSD then it's pretty unlikely that she will just get better, without some degree of therapy. Specialist trauma therapy would be ideal, but it is also possible to do some self therapy work, using CBT techniques, and exposure therapy. Online therapy is also available these days.
It must be hard for you, because no-one can force anyone to seek help. The demon of PTSD is that you have to want to get 'better', and put in the hard work yourself. Very tough to stand by and watch, if she is self-destructive, but you should try to support her the best you can. I'm sure some other carers/supporters will be along to give better advice than I can, as a 'sufferer'.
All the best
CB
amethist
VIP Member
Hi dave
Going cold turkey is a tough one for all concerned, and not usually recomended either. Taking them all her life is not always the case.
If she stopped them 2 months ago, then maybe they are now out of her system, and what you are seeing is the reaction of her not taking any at all. If she has good support and a good therapist, then maybe, just maybe, she can work through everything. But be prepared to suggest she goes and talks to her doctor, then possibly takes a lesser dose for a while longer, if she does not feel better in another week.
My husband would crash big style if he stopped them abruptly, but is now in the process of reducing them in stages. But being prepared to put them back up a bit if needed, until he is stable enough to start again.
First he reduced one of his morning ones by 0.5 mg, to see how he went. That was a few months back and he did feel clearer headed within a few days. He has now reduced the same medication by 0.5 mg in the morning again, and now in the evening.
He is clear headed again, can think clearer and work through the anxiety life throws at him a lot easier. He is also not falling asleep an hour after taking them at night, and his body is not screaming for them, as it did when trying to take them later.
It will take as long as it takes, no time limit set for this.
It would be better, to do it this way, with determination and support, than suffer more going cold turkey.
It is not easy for either of you.
Amethist
Going cold turkey is a tough one for all concerned, and not usually recomended either. Taking them all her life is not always the case.
If she stopped them 2 months ago, then maybe they are now out of her system, and what you are seeing is the reaction of her not taking any at all. If she has good support and a good therapist, then maybe, just maybe, she can work through everything. But be prepared to suggest she goes and talks to her doctor, then possibly takes a lesser dose for a while longer, if she does not feel better in another week.
My husband would crash big style if he stopped them abruptly, but is now in the process of reducing them in stages. But being prepared to put them back up a bit if needed, until he is stable enough to start again.
First he reduced one of his morning ones by 0.5 mg, to see how he went. That was a few months back and he did feel clearer headed within a few days. He has now reduced the same medication by 0.5 mg in the morning again, and now in the evening.
He is clear headed again, can think clearer and work through the anxiety life throws at him a lot easier. He is also not falling asleep an hour after taking them at night, and his body is not screaming for them, as it did when trying to take them later.
It will take as long as it takes, no time limit set for this.
It would be better, to do it this way, with determination and support, than suffer more going cold turkey.
It is not easy for either of you.
Amethist
Very difficult scenerio. It can indeed take a while. Some drugs like Prozac have very long half lives. Going off them made me crazy for a while.
It is hard for carers because they want to believe drugs are helpful. I have had many helpers say, " Just take your meds!" or" XYZ refuses the meds and that is why they are bad off."
Wall Street journal had a recent article which I do choose to believe which uncovered the drug companies who lied about the effects of the mental health drugs, saying the knew they do not work. They lied. They lied about the research and effectivness. There is no science.
I trust the Wall Street journal, but not everyone has to . I kn ow a lot of people think they help. They made me very very crazy and much more suicidal. In fact, I never had a concrete plan till after they gave me Paxil. Never ever again!
It is hard for carers because they want to believe drugs are helpful. I have had many helpers say, " Just take your meds!" or" XYZ refuses the meds and that is why they are bad off."
Wall Street journal had a recent article which I do choose to believe which uncovered the drug companies who lied about the effects of the mental health drugs, saying the knew they do not work. They lied. They lied about the research and effectivness. There is no science.
I trust the Wall Street journal, but not everyone has to . I kn ow a lot of people think they help. They made me very very crazy and much more suicidal. In fact, I never had a concrete plan till after they gave me Paxil. Never ever again!
- Post starter
- #5
Thanks for all of your input. She is in therapy for sexual trauma. I think she may have been set off by something that she is dealing with there. Not really sure. She is not very open about what happens there. We have been together 30 yrs. married for 28. She was molested as a small child and raped as a teen. I only found this out a year ago. She is really struggling right now. I want to help and support her anyway I can. I just kinda feel like i'm flying blind. She is the love of my life ! One day 5 yrs ago she just became someone else.. I miss her.................
cherryblossom
VIP Member
I don't know if this will help, but perhaps you could encourage her to join this site, or our other site Survive Sexual Assault, which may be more appropriate to her. She would be be very welcome. The link is at the end of my post.
Dave, I know this must be very difficult for you and you obviously love her very very much. It must have been painful to find out that she had been abused. I'm glad that she is in therapy and getting help. I can relate to much of what she is going through, although I found myself going through all the crying off and on even with the additional help of medication because without it I was even in a worse state. I'm assuming the therapist felt it might be time to get at the heart of some of the issues and she may not being letting you know this exactly or it may be difficult to understand just how very painful it can be. I agree that the by now the medications are more than likely out of her system.
Your wife didn't become someone else this is all a part of her, Dave, she most likely Dissociated, meaning she just stepped mentally outside of herself, most likely the same as she did while she was being abused as a form of protecting herself mentally from what was going on. It's something I did for years seemingly over night to others but I felt it coming for awhile. One day I just couldn't make it to work, I couldn't do things anymore, the fight was over and I was done fighting to keep the memories at bay. They flooded in and I left mentally.
There are a lot of great books on PTSD that are listed on this site, extremely helpful. The more knowledge the better. Sometimes the pain has to come out, even if it makes other people uncomfortable.
Please take care,
Rain
- Post starter
- #8
Rain, Thank you for your post. You sound like you know what she is going through. She has been on a downhill slide for about 5 yrs. Like you said, One day she just couldn't make it work... I'm trying to learn all I can about what's going on with her. That's why I'm here. It's hard to watch my best friend dissapear and become this shell of herself. I just want her to find some happiness. I know all I can really do is Love and support her. Will things get better without the meds? I'm just afraid of what she is like without them. She goes from suicidal to really angry and mean. She asked me if I think she should go back on the meds? I don't know what to tell her. She really hates the way they make her feel. The last combo she was on was wellbutrin,celexa ? and clonazapam. She has been on them for 15yrs. never really helped. Shes only been off them for 2 months. Just not sure what is right ?
Dave, I would like to know how things are going. I went cold turkey off clonopam and paxil about a week ago and find myself bed ridden from the constant nausea. I'm in day 3 of the vomiting and was only on the 10mg paxil. How long was her nausea or was that even a factor for her? I'm about to throw in the towel for the sake of my husband.
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