Supporter Wife Of Ptsd Veteran Undergoing Inpatient Treatment

[ptsdpain]

I am a wife of a PTSD veteran who has been suffering silently for 15 years. He is a law enforcement officer.

My children & I have endured years of his mental instability, living in fear with his threats, tirades, drinking binges, and inability to be a part of this family. I recently had to go to the police & "tell" his secret. I had to get a protection order. I contacted him & broke the order to discuss our kids which caused him to get arrested.

His superiors testified against him to have his firearms taken. He agreed to go to inpatient where he is now. I feel like I have betrayed him & think this is the end of our marriage. My kids & I are going to counseling & I am going to a domestic violence support group.

 

[safenow]

I believe you did the right thing. It was necessary to protect yourself and your children. I hope he can get the help he needs while he is in-patient. Know that it won't change a lot though.

I hope you can stay safe. Take good care and let us know how it goes.

Welcome to the PTSD support forum. You did not betray him. You probably saved your life and the life of your children and even possibly his life. I'm glad you are going to group. Keep up the good work.

 

[intothelight]

Hi ptsdpain,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)

I am glad you hear that you are taking the steps necessary to help yourself and your children. PTSD is a tough disorder to live with, but it does not justify abuse towards other people. I hope that all members of your family get the help they need to heal.

Take care.

Debbie

 

[Tinyflame]

Welcome ptsdpain. I'm sorry for your pain, but you did the right and only sane thing.

 

[ptsdpain]

I am so happy that he has finally reached out for help! I now have to face more fear & uncertainty about my future. I don't want a divorce but things must change. Even my kids would prefer if we divorce. How can I deal with that?

 

[safenow]

Even my kids would prefer if we divorce. How can I deal with that?

May I ask how old your children are?

 

[ptsdpain]

They are 14 and 16 years old. They have only come to understand his behavior during the last 2-3 years or so.

 

[amethist]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

Come down to the supporters area, where you will be made very welcome. There is a lot of useful information there, some to keep you going, some to help you continue in your support for your husband.

Remember taking care of yourself is one of the most important lessons to be learnt.

Amethist

 

[therapybankrupt]

I feel like I have betrayed him & think this is the end of our marriage. My kids & I are going to counseling & I am going to a domestic violence support group.

Ptsdpain Hi and welcome! Although the thought of betrayal is on your heart right now I hope in time you realize the truth. You are your husbands angel. You are getting him the help he can not see he needs. You have the backing of many others. When you love someone it is hard not to leave the elephant in the middle of the room.

You have taken a big step for your children. The cycle of terror has a chance for recovery for them. Not to mention the strength you are showing them and the example of self care so they expect the same in there lives. I hope you find comfort here. Best of wishes in your support endeavors.
TB

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

 

[ptsdpain]

Ptsdpain Hi and welcome! Although the thought of betrayal is on your heart right now I hope in time you realize the truth. You are your husbands angel. You are getting him the help he can not see he needs. You have the backing of many others. When you love someone it is hard not to leave the elephant in the middle of the room.

I am feeling really alone right now. My mother-in-law won't talk to me. They blame me for involving his work (LEO) which I did not but his actions placed him where he was arrested. Also, she does not have a true understanding of the severity of his issues. This happened before a couple of years ago and I tried to reach out to my in-laws but they chose to ignore the problem. Now, her son is in an inpatient facility. Her husband was abusive to both her and the boys - maybe she is dealing with that reality, now that he is gone? I am not feeling encouraged about any of the actions I have done. Everyone keeps telling me to "let it play out" and "stop trying to control the situation"; however, I am helpless. No job, no support, no husband, this sucks!

 

[therapybankrupt]

Hang in there Ptsdpain. I think the in-laws have been in denial long before you came along. It is not likely they will see it the way you do. I am sorry. They still live in all the dysfunction and have not seen beyond themselves. Can you get some sort of assistance for living. I know in US there is emergency housing and food stamps. Take good care of yourself.