Working with a Therapist-in-Training ... Bad Idea??

[RainbowSearchParty]

This is a .very large boundary violation.

Yes, I agree. And the more I read on the blog (in a reality-television-show-binge sort of way) the more I realized that this person has no concept of boundaries. At best, completely out of touch with reality and with what would be considered professional. The level of disclosure would be highly inappropriate in any career, but especially in a therapist. At worst, this person is attention-seeking, which is not what I can stomach in someone who is tasked with helping me.

 

[Little Rose]

Yes, I agree. And the more I read on the blog (in a reality-television-show-binge sort of way) the more I realized that this person has no concept of boundaries. At best, completely out of touch with reality and with what would be considered professional. The level of disclosure would be highly inappropriate in any career, but especially in a therapist. At worst, this person is attention-seeking, which is not what I can stomach in someone who is tasked with helping me.

Boundaries are so very important when in a therapist-client relationship , to protect not only the therapist, but also the client who may be in a fragile state of mind due to any number of issues. This is especially true when the client is dealing with trauma related issues. I am so sorry that that you have this experience with finding a therapist and also want to validate that you did the right thing in writing the email declining their services. I wish you all the luck in finding a therpaist who is has experience is trauma counseling and is willing to work with you within your budget.

 

[Friday]

but it's not my role to do so

Exactly.

 

[RainbowSearchParty]

So, there was a 5th trainee that I worked with, twenty years ago. I totally forgot about her until just now. She was terrified of me and my experiences: what was very, very normal, everyday experiences to me at the time (black out amnesia, waking up in places I didn't know, doing things I couldn't account for) were, for her, reason to panic. And yes, it wasn't normal, but all I can remember is the fact that I frightened her so, so much and felt like a monster for it.

Reason #567 why I can't work with another trainee.

Why do I keep forgetting about all of this? I feel like a fool that I can't even remember the therapists I've worked with over the years.

 

[Friday]

Why do I keep forgetting about all of this? I feel like a fool that I can't even remember the therapists I've worked with over the years.

How many tuna sandwiches have you had over the years?

The amazing? Stand out.
The mediocre do not.

That’s not strange.

 

[Charbella]

You are absolutely correct. This is a .very large boundary violation. When I was pursuing a Master's in Counseling, one of the first things we were taught was to almost never reveal anything personal about ourselves to clients. The therapist focus needs to be on the client and their situation ... keeping the relationship with the client on professional level. Trust your intuition on this one

How is it a boundary violation to post on the internet? If your a therapist you’re not allowed to have a life? She didn’t send anyone to read the blog!

I get it’s unprofessional, it sounds like she should use an alias now that she’s a therapist but she’s transitioning from another life.

 

[Sideways]

How is it a boundary violation to post in the internet? If your a therapist you’re not allowed to have a life?

I agree.

Most young adults these days have a lot of their life on the internet, and it’s usually pretty easy to find.

It makes sense to me that it would be a turn off, knowing that much about your T. But I don’t see it as a boundary violation unless they suggested you read it.

 

[RainbowSearchParty]

Call it what you will; the result is that this is a hard no.

I feel like I need to do medical tourism. Sigh.

 

[Friday]

How is it a boundary violation to post on the internet?

It’s not. (Generally speaking, although see below). It’s the CONTENT that illuminates the ability to have boundaries or not.

Most young adults these days have a lot of their life on the internet, and it’s usually pretty easy to find.

But professionals (of many different fields) deliberately de-link their personal & professional online presence. Even when I was in school (a million years ago) it was underlined that you NEEDED to have an “unlisted” number (told ya, I’m a dinosaur), and address, and to use VERY different accounts for personal/professional email. “Kids these days” are instructed on how to keep their personal & professional social media completely separate. To not have done so, but be easily searchable online, by their clients? Is just stoooooopid for a therapist. And, cha, also shows even more stupid about boundaries. As they’re not drawing a line between their personal & professional lives… but inviting everyone into everything. Even the average 8yo knows NOT to do that!

1+1 = posting on the internet isn’t a boundary issue… unless… one has zero boundaries in their posting. And is using the same username, not anonymizing (or keeping personal/professional boundaries), etc.

 

[Little Rose]

So, there was a 5th trainee that I worked with, twenty years ago. I totally forgot about her until just now. She was terrified of me and my experiences: what was very, very normal, everyday experiences to me at the time (black out amnesia, waking up in places I didn't know, doing things I couldn't account for) were, for her, reason to panic. And yes, it wasn't normal, but all I can remember is the fact that I frightened her so, so much and felt like a monster for it.

Reason #567 why I can't work with another trainee.

Why do I keep forgetting about all of this? I feel like a fool that I can't even remember the therapists I've worked with over the years.

From my undergrad and graduate studies in psychology, what you described as your normal sounds like DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder). and it was only briefly mentioned in a couple of courses. My experience has been that even seasoned therapists are sometimes at a loss as to how to work with clients who present with symptoms such as yours. In no way are you responsible for how she reacted to you. In my opinion, she was no trained enough to take on a client that was presenting with the severity of issues that had going on.

 

[RainbowSearchParty]

So, the "therapist" had the audacity to reply to my email and call me resistant for not wanting to work with them.

I'm so angry. I'm not resistant, and my email was very kind and incredibly professional. I just hate it when that word (resistant) gets tossed around by inexperienced therapists as a way to claw back power when I don't agree with them, which is exactly what this feels like. I've written about twenty response emails in my head of varying levels of kindness. I also am not going to actually respond and instead filed the email out of my inbox. But I just want to tell this person off and tell them to grow up.

And I want therapy. Good therapy.

How many tuna sandwiches have you had over the years?

As a vegan ... not many. As soon as I could read and inquired what "dolphin safe" on the can meant, I stopped eating them. And this memory lapse does feel dissociative, which is always frustrating. (And why I want treatment).

Even the average 8yo knows NOT to do that!

Agreed! It's why the kids these days have different profiles for their friends and for their parents.

what you described as your normal sounds like DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder)

And yes, definitely. I've had DID my whole life, but was diagnosed some seven or eight years ago.

 

[Lost in the Woods]

Even before my recent PTSD diagnosis I had noticed I was conflict prone. It seemed like I always had to have the last word. I really didn’t want to carry on like that. I decided to change. I decided that there are times in life that even if I am right, I would just accept that I had been ripped off or whatever and get on with life rather than get bogged down in a dispute. I used to not be able to let things go. I have changed that to I can’t be bothered with petty disputes. I don’t have that need for the other guy to see that I was right. It doesn’t matter. I don’t need their approval or acknowledgement, I just move on. If I was changing therapists I would just say I found it wasn’t a good fit or that my needs were evolving and I needed to make a change to better address my needs. And then I would say thank you and never look back. It is just easier that way.