Worry

[Changing4Best]

I find myself worrying far too often about the future. So much has changed during my life. I grew up watching black and white TV shows, playing outdoors a lot and in general my life was good. So much has changed since my childhood though.

I was married for 23 years to a good man, life with him was pleasant and fun. We owned a motel, we had what we needed in life and we enjoyed our work. Then everything went wrong. This happened during the time right after the World Trade Center bombing, when folks were not travelling by plane. Since most of our guests at the motel came by plane, taking taxis from the airport, we found our business failing. We eventually lost our motel.

He passed away in 2005. We never were able to have children, so I am all alone in this world now. I do have friends at least, which I am so grateful for. However when I think about the future things look kind of bleak. I have what I need in life right now, but I wonder how long that will last.

Do you ever worry about your future?

 

[lucius.beach]

Sorry for your losses, especially someone that made you so happy. Yes I worry all the time about the world's future, my childrens, my families and mine. Things are going down hill in this world so quickly I am not so sure anyone or any nation can pick it back up to where it once was. It is a saddening affair when people are considering not to have children due to how the world is today. And I am sorry, you were never able to experience children of your own. It's a scary thought, this world and how things are going that passes through my mind at least once a day. I try to stay positive about it, but it is very difficult.

 

[Gadgie]

Quote..........."Do you ever worry about your future?"

I don't really worry about it, but I do wonder what lays ahead for me. I'm trying to cope with living alone, since my wife passed last November, so I do wonder what's there?

I try hard not to think about the past, as there is two different lives back there, I got divorced at the age of forty, after twenty three years, then had a further twenty years with my second wife.

We were looking forward to growing old together, but that was not be, as she passed away at the age of sixty three. Now I find myself alone, on the positive side, I have reunited with my long lost sister, after many years of silence, and that has given me a boost in life.

 

[Ronin]

I'm more often focused on just remembering there IS something like a future. I tend to live way too much in the present & the past and a strange mix of both, to have yet time to fear the future.

I project to it with determination and hope, if anything, if I can find them. Fear would only shortcircuit my ways there, and I need to get there first, worry later.

 

[Changing4Best]

I can see living with PTSD and living in the past, that makes a lot of sense, as the cause of the PTSD is in the past. Mine has been broken down through therapy, so that it frees me to plan the future. Instead I worry about my future! I have to remember that it is a better idea to plan for it, for a happy healthy future! I will work on that, which will take some hefty determination, I think!

 

[Gadgie]

I don't like to think about the past too much, as that's when all the crap happened, that caused my PTSD in the first place.

Even all the the stuff that happened, what seems a life time ago now, that along with the events of more recent years. It all came out together, when the trigger set if off.

That's what the shrink told me any way, I only wish that I could pack it all up, and send it back to that file in my brain where it escaped from.

 

[Changing4Best]

I think I worry about becoming homeless again, which is the state I was in when some of my abuse took place. That is my basic worry about the future. Being homeless leaves one with no protection, vulnerable and at the mercy of everything and everyone. It was the worst time in my life! That is my biggest worry.

 

[Ronin]

Two things: Have you looked up homeless shelters or places offering stay at low prices for a night or two in your area?

Second, being homeless doesn't make you at the mercy of everyone. Change that mindset. You're still a capable strong woman, who'd be at more disadvantage, but that's all it is Sheila; a disadvantage.

You're not left to mercy of everything, you can take care of yourself, and you can take good care of other people, too - including really crappy people. Acknowledge that strength, nurture it.

 

[Changing4Best]

Well, here I am again, worrying about all kinds of things. My beloved niece is in the Hospital for severe depression. She is PTSD too, so I can totally relate to her situation, I have been in mental hospitals so many times I have lost count. I am also Bipolar, so I am no stranger to depression.

I worry about the future a lot, especially since the election. I am poor, living on Social Security Disability and getting my medical care from Medicare. Right now there are plans in Congress to change Medicare into a voucher program and also to add something like $3,000.00 per year to our deductible! AARP and some other organizations are fighting this, so no one knows how things will go, but I can honestly say right now that I DO NOT have a spare $3,000.00 to spare to continue to get medical care and I take 8 medicines, some for my mental health and some for my physical health.

Then they have plans to cut "Domestic Programs" and they have not elaborated on that other than to say that the EPA is going to be gutted.

I depend upon the government for 2/3rds of my rent, which they pay, food stamps (EBT), and a host of other programs that help me out in one way or another. If they stopped paying that portion of my rent, for instance, I would be in dire straights! Food stamps have already been cut. And that was by the previous administration, right before they left office, so that they could get a budget passed.

I feel like the guy who is waiting for the other shoe to drop. And I am terrified. I have not worked in 15 years. I have never been able to really hold a job. I have helped out with the family business when I was able, that was about it. Now, in my mid 60s, with virtually no work history, who would hire me? NO ONE.

So that means most likely that I face massive budget cuts in my spending. And there really is not much of a place to cut anything, living at about poverty level. I don't have a TV even, that is how poor I am. And the government gives me my phone, otherwise, I would not even have one of those.

All I can do is pray that the President takes pity on the elderly poor and vetos that Medicare voucher program. He did promise not to cut Medicare or Social Security during the election, so only God knows what will happen.

In the meantime, I try not to worry, but that is the hardest thing for me to do! Any suggestions on how to stop worrying would be greatly appreciated!

 

[Gadgie]

I'm in the same situation really, as our disability benefit used to be called DLA (disability living allowance) and once you had been on it a few years, you got put on it indefinitely, which meant we never had to be assessed every year.

This is now being changed to PIP (personal indepandant payment) which has to be reapplied for every year, and a lot of folk have had their benefits cut, or in some cases stopped altogether?

The form to request this new benefit is forty pages long, and even if you get a person who does that full time, a volunteer who is involved with the "cancer care centre" does it for you, it still takes them two hours to fill it in with you?

I sent mine off three weeks ago and am still waiting their decision, they might even call me in for an assessment along with an interview?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Sheila, I am getting on in years and also struggle with many issues so I can relate to what you are thinking about.

It is so all out of our control and worry just gets in the way of serenity. I understand your fears about being homeless since you have experienced that in your life so maybe just try to focus on each day as it comes, with the good and the bad happening each day.

You seem to be doing the best you can with what you are facing and dealing with. You have a strong belief in God and now is the time to rely on Him. You have to do your part, yet I know that somehow you are so smart, you will succeed in your life.

A good friend of mine told me that getting older is all about loss and it will take some pretty intense practice for me to come to terms with that.

I wish you well, I really hope that everything will turn out okay for you.