Just had a therapy session, my final one before I make the move back to the States next week. My therapist said the most eye-opening thing, and I can't believe it was never obvious to me before.
We were talking about my baby's father, who was emotionally and verbally abusive towards me. I was telling my therapist how he had never physically abused me, and so I found it difficult to make people understand how terrible he was.
She said, "He just never had time to abuse you. He would have eventually, and he still would now. You just weren't together long enough for him to cross over into that."
Now that I think about this, she's absolutely right. Why on earth did I think that he was not physically a threat? He absolutely would have been, I just never gave him the chance.
I'm so astounded by this revelation.... I had always been thinking of him as falling into a different category than most other abusers because of his lack of violence, but he's no different. If given the chance, he absolutely would have escalated to violence. No doubt.
My therapist recommended I attend some support groups for victims of domestic violence so that I can see that he's really no different from abusers who use violence. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from me .... for one, because I got out in time, probably just in the knick of time, and two because I have so much more clarity now.
We were talking about my baby's father, who was emotionally and verbally abusive towards me. I was telling my therapist how he had never physically abused me, and so I found it difficult to make people understand how terrible he was.
She said, "He just never had time to abuse you. He would have eventually, and he still would now. You just weren't together long enough for him to cross over into that."
Now that I think about this, she's absolutely right. Why on earth did I think that he was not physically a threat? He absolutely would have been, I just never gave him the chance.
I'm so astounded by this revelation.... I had always been thinking of him as falling into a different category than most other abusers because of his lack of violence, but he's no different. If given the chance, he absolutely would have escalated to violence. No doubt.
My therapist recommended I attend some support groups for victims of domestic violence so that I can see that he's really no different from abusers who use violence. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from me .... for one, because I got out in time, probably just in the knick of time, and two because I have so much more clarity now.
