- Post starter
- #13
So there are the literal narratives and auto-biographies and I'm really in awe of people who can do that. And then the fictional take, which allows for a narrative of a distanced form (and also metaphors and gap-filling where we don't have narrative pieces but just still shots or images or weird shit and lose ends).
But I have to remember that in recent years I've done a little better when I do write, but focus on the process of my recovery. I can talk lightly and sparingly about trauma (no details, not the stories), but only that what I am doing now is helping with my pain and symptoms, and living in my body. So I want to commit to writing more about the things that simply help me feel good, connected to myself, and also connected to life (certain mindfulness practices, music, sound, aspects of the therapy I'm doing without the details). I do have some blog followers and it is nice to think that maybe I can help others. In my family others suffer from chronic pain and have just become drug addicts and alcoholics. And I say that with no judgment but only empathy. Pain can be such a trap, no matter how it formed (so often a trauma background for the chronic pain sufferers and those who drift into escaping their bodies through narcotic addictions).
I've been pretty serious about my efforts to stay "awake" and not go down that path...not because I'm a better person...but because I am very much an addict. Also, I have nobody else to depend on. I have to work. I have to pay my mortgage. I have to make it. So my writing and searching....and trying new approaches...is my way to stay positive, hopeful...even if one approach ultimately sucks, it is the search and writing, and staying engaged that reminds me that I am not trapped. I am in a process. I don't know the way out, but I am moving and not trapped.
Anyway, I have to keep writing more about that process....it helps me keep curious and willing to stay connected and try new things vs drop into old habits. Writing, whether for a tiny writers group or a little blog, helps keep me committed to my own process of change and self acceptance.
But I have to remember that in recent years I've done a little better when I do write, but focus on the process of my recovery. I can talk lightly and sparingly about trauma (no details, not the stories), but only that what I am doing now is helping with my pain and symptoms, and living in my body. So I want to commit to writing more about the things that simply help me feel good, connected to myself, and also connected to life (certain mindfulness practices, music, sound, aspects of the therapy I'm doing without the details). I do have some blog followers and it is nice to think that maybe I can help others. In my family others suffer from chronic pain and have just become drug addicts and alcoholics. And I say that with no judgment but only empathy. Pain can be such a trap, no matter how it formed (so often a trauma background for the chronic pain sufferers and those who drift into escaping their bodies through narcotic addictions).
I've been pretty serious about my efforts to stay "awake" and not go down that path...not because I'm a better person...but because I am very much an addict. Also, I have nobody else to depend on. I have to work. I have to pay my mortgage. I have to make it. So my writing and searching....and trying new approaches...is my way to stay positive, hopeful...even if one approach ultimately sucks, it is the search and writing, and staying engaged that reminds me that I am not trapped. I am in a process. I don't know the way out, but I am moving and not trapped.
Anyway, I have to keep writing more about that process....it helps me keep curious and willing to stay connected and try new things vs drop into old habits. Writing, whether for a tiny writers group or a little blog, helps keep me committed to my own process of change and self acceptance.
