Writing A Victim Impact Statement For Sentencing

[KeepingTime]

I have an opportunity to write a victim impact statement and address the court pertaining to the sentencing of a man who assaulted, robbed, and kidnapped me with a deadly weapon. He is facing min 15 yrs to life. And I have about two weeks to decide if I want to do this. And I use the word "opportunity " even tho I dread doing this, because for most of my/our traumas we aren't given the opportunity for justice. This is my first experience with the legal part of a trauma.

My choices are to write And read this statement myself in court. Or write it and the state attorney will read it too. Or I can just write a letter to the judge and I don't even have to go.
I know for sure I want to go to the sentencing. In the beginning after he was first found and arrested. I started journaling and wrote what sort of turned out to be a letter to this guy....things I wanted to say to him....WITHOUT a gun to my head.
But now 10 months later, some of those things just don't seem fitting. Maybe that's because I'm beginning to heal.

Also the court has some parameters about what the letter can pertain to...keeping it to things strictly about the case. I CAN tell how this effected me...mentally, physically etc.

I just am not sure I can do this in front of the guy. Maybe for so much of my I've tried to ignore how other traumas (this is not my main trauma ) have effected me.

I just am really all over the place with this. Have any of you ever done this? Or what would you say to someone who did this to you?

Or just any thoughts on if this will be beneficial to my healing? I don't really know how much impact it will actually have on the sentencing.

 

[Chimera]

Wow.

To be able to write how the trauma/abuser is/may affect/ing me...and if I wished, force them to have to hear those words?
That is huge.

There is a thing one of my earlier t's(saw one for 3-4 visits in early teens) said to me about loss of potential. That is something I look at sometimes and then fight against, but it does remain that I have to fight against it, and I always might.
This is an opportunity to be heard in a real world environment and that's pretty rare for suffered of ptsd and those who have been victimized.
I don't envy you this decision, try not to allow your fears make this choice for you..

 

[scout86]

I think it's an opportunity, for sure. But I'd ask myself "an opportunity for what?" There's a pretty good chance this person isn't capable of remorse and he really won't care how he's affected you or the rest of your life. That's something I'd keep in mind, if I was in your position. I'd find it hard to go on about how much he hurt me and get a "who gives a darn?" reaction, you know? At the same time, the judge OUGHT to care and she or he ought to know too. So I think that's the person I'd be addressing. Or the jury, if there is one and it sounds like there's not.

 

[Deleted member 28740]

Recent case… and amazing is he uses the term a "second" like doing laps . Like it is only a second that a life was changed by. Yes it was. But no apology, no conscience, or acceptance of what he has done. Self pity for himself.

Demand a clear apology for exactly what this person has done to change you and your life, and who knows who else's, and in the future. Ask him questions, hard and clear. Have you ever been raped, how would that change your life? Beside being off the swim team for a bit.



Link Removed

"In her testimony on Thursday, the victim addressed Turner directly, outlining the many ways the assault and ensuing trial traumatized her and her family.

“You took away my worth, my privacy, my energy, my time, my safety, my intimacy, my confidence, my own voice, until today.”

She added, “I am a human being who has been irreversibly hurt.”

The woman also criticized media coverage that highlighted Turner’s swimming abilities and athletic ambitions. “The fact that Brock was an athlete at a private university should not be seen as an entitlement to leniency.”

Alaleh Kianerci, the prosecutor, criticized Turner for failing to admit that he sexually assaulted the woman that night.

“Has he acknowledged that he actually sexually violated her? I think the answer to that is no.”

In his short statement, Turner did not speak about sexual assault and offered a short apology.

“Nobody deserves a single second of what I have caused them to go through … I want to express that I’m sorry for everything.”

 

[Whyteferret]

If it helps you find your voice and you think it is what you need then do it.
Don't expect anything from the perp at all. He may not show remorse, he may not care, or he may even get off on it.

Go into it for yourself.

You can choose to write just to the judge and not have him hear it at all. Just have it used for sentencing

 

[ghotiff]

Maybe write it and a few days after you wrote it read it again and consider if sharing it will help or hinder you and your recovery. But...if the process of writing it sends your recovery backward then stop.

You could also write two statements, one from eg 3months ago when your symptoms were "worse" and one from now where you say above that you have "lesser" symptoms. Both are true and accurate statements, either could be used.

 

[mary1979]

Sounds like an awesome kind of healing to me.
Get your therapist to help you work out what's most important so far as the impact your trauma has had on your life, an impartial view will help heaps.

So far as reading it yourself or getting another too?
Thats a HUGE step.
It could be empowering to face this person and give you unimaginable healing.
Or. It could re traumatise you so badly you wind up worse off.

I dont think its a decision to be made lightly.
Its 20 yrs since I last saw my abuser, and I'm pretty confident it would scare the life out of me and hurt me worse.

Talk with your therapist about how stable they think you are.
Do they think you would benefit or be hindered?

Dont expect this scum bag to be sorry either, or have compassion.
They rarely do.

 

[Deleted member 28740]

Update on the victim statement for the swim boy assault witness statement. Father of convicted son is an astounding asshole.
http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/...student-brock-turner-sexual-assault-statement

Her victim impact statement – released by the district attorney’s office and published in full by Palo Alto Online, among others – has received global attention for shedding light on what advocates say is an epidemic of violence on college campuses. On BuzzFeed, it has been viewed more than 4m times since being published on Saturday.
Son Convicted Should Serve No Prison Time For "20 Minutes Of Action"

 

[Deleted member 541]

If it were me.... I would do it. It would allow me to stand up and say that "I matter and what was done to me was wrong on so many levels". It would give me a voice finally, and to tell my abuser that what he did was wrong and he will be held accountable for his actions. It would be cathartic, healing, and letting go of negative emotions thoughts and feelings that I had held in for a long time. It would allow me to have pride once again in knowing that I stood up for me and that I MATTERED, even if only for myself.

I hope that you have the strength to write the letter, and hopefully be able to stand there and read it in court. Whatever you choose to do, do it for you..... i wish you the best in this endeavor.

 

[KeepingTime]

You all bring up very good points and lots of food for thought...as I knew you would. ;)
That's why I wanted to get feed back from you here.
A little more info....we are through with the trial phase. And yes reading that victim letter from the swim kid case was more than I could read...just cause it's still so fresh (trial was mid April) and everything she said is so on point!
It feels like getting victimized all over again with all the questions, fingerprinting, DNA testing and lineups etc.
they even held me in the back of a squad car for almost an hour by myself right after it happened so that I could identify the guy they caught which was the WRONG guy! They wouldn't let my husband or anyone else go with me. It was horribly terrifying and I am very claustrophobic and couldn't get out.
Anyway, my initial writings focused on stealing my joy. The courts ramble about charges and legal terms but no one talks about what is taken from you emotionally. In this case I happened to be working at a little shop where I have a space that I sell crafty things and things that I make, build and paint. I love to refinish furniture and I make jewelry. I had really sank my energy into that after my mom died shortly before this. I had been taking care of her for 18 months and when she was gone I didn't know what to do with myself. So I starting doing my crafts. This man waltzes into this shop with a gun and takes me from the store. I was by myself. So he really did steal my joy...the ONE thing I had found that I enjoyed doing. Yes he stole more than that...my sense of safety, which wasn't much because of having PTSD prior to this. And of course it dredged up old traumas that I thought I had processed...APPARENTLY NOT! :(

HOWEVER...I am fortunate that during the trial he decided to throw himself on the mercy of the court and admit to EVERYTHING! I couldn't believe my ears. My advocate was with me and I turned to her with tears and said "what just happened?" He was a convicted felon who had been out On parole. He had served 30 yrs for armed robbery and other things. He had an open warrant where he had absconded his halfway house. Jerk should have never been on the street.

But then when he confessed to everything now some of the things I intitially wrote don't seem to apply.

I think i will start a new one then re read my old one. I will post it here...thanks for that suggestion! :)

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I would really pay attention to whethor or not I could actually go that. He did not see nor hear you at all when he did what he did to you, so expect anything. Are you strong enough? It might help or hurt you, It is a risk. But you have come this far. So the choice is yours. I rather like the idea of having someone else to read it for you.

I know that the letters do help. You have to really pay attention to imagine how it would be and do what you are imaging. It took so much courage and bravery to survive what you have and to be where you are now. I really think that the important choice is can you see yourself do this and come out of empowered and healing knowing that you were one sole voice in how you feel and think about him. Hope that this makes sense.:hug:

 

[KeepingTime]

I know that if I plan to do it I can always back out at the last minute and the state attorney will read it for me. He was really great through all of this. He called me at every turn and wouldn't do anything with the case without asking me first. I know I got really lucky with the way this one turned out legally.
It's just mind blowing to know that after all the other childhood-teen trauma that you can call the police and justice actually does get served sometimes. And not just in the movies. :)

Another thought about what I would like to say...and I'm using this platform here to just really hash out my thoughts...and with all of your great input. But this guy had come into the store earlier in the day. I really thought he was homeless and it was really hot out. I shared my lunch with him and bought him a drink. I never imagined that he was just casing the place for the first opportunity for me to be alone. My daughter had stopped my to see me (she's 25) and she had just pulled out of the driveway when he entered the store with the gun. All I kept thinking is please God don't let her come back in.
And I said to him at some point "I was nice to you today!" And I know I said a bunch of other ramblings just to survive so yes I would like the opportunity to say to him again "I was nice to you that day and you wrecked my world! " and some other things I was too afraid to say with a gun to my head.