Yet Another Question About Emdr (please Bear With Me )

[AngelKeeperJ]

:hug:I have been blessed with an amazing T, and it was important to feel comfortable first, then have a "safe place" well "rehearsed', and I always have the option of letting him know I am overwhelmed.

He does "talk me down" by "taking me to my safe place" before stopping. It's desired to learn to be able to get yourself to that "safe place" when necessary. He helps me practice that.

MUCH can be accomplished by learning to reprocess memories, so they have less power over you.

EMDR helped me reprocess the death of my daughter, and it has made a HUGE impact in my life in other ways.

I would be cautious about a therapist who was "emphatic" about stopping the session.
EMDR is NOT hypnosis, and it is YOUR decision to stop, or back off of an issue that is too intense.

It would be appropriate to agree, that you had located a feeling that would indicate a "place or area" that should be revisited at a later session.

You need to trust the T completely, and NOT have them want to hurry through the process. It is different for every client, but absolute trust and "building" your safe place and learning how to "ground your feelings" takes time! You may need them when you might be processing thoughts and feelings while you are NOT in a session. Our subconscious mind may continue working on your issues. You must have that "safe place" well rehearsed to give you confidence!

Listen to your "gut" feelings! I haven't read your other posts, but your feeling the need to reach out for advice and impressions, kind of says to me that you aren't comfortable with the information given to you. Also, the demeanor of the T seems to not have set well with you.

My main "clue" is that she was "emphatic" about NOT stopping the session if you become uncomfortable. I can understand if she said she would want you to try to verbalize that need to stop, but to just say "no" seems odd to me.

(I would be curious, as to how long she has been working with EMDR) If she doesn't accept your insurance, I doubt if I would make the "gamble"! I would choose driving a little farther than paying ALL of it out-of-pocket.

It's expensive, and being unpredictable as to how many sessions it can take, that is something to consider.

I'm sorry to have written such a long post... I tend to get "wordy" when I am passionate about something!

I have had such success with EMDR, that I would hate it if you wasted time or money on the wrong T. I think your "gut feeling" is nudging you in the right direction!

Good luck, BLESSINGS, as well as peace about your decision I am sending your way!
HUGS, TOO!:hug:
AKJ

 

[GardenGirl0214]

Thanks sooo much everyone. As I said, due to the insurance issue, I won't be able to work with the EMDR therapist I saw yesterday, which is fine, as it was just a consultation. I wish she had mentioned a "safe place" to me, but she didn't. That doesn't mean she didn't have it in mind, but not hearing that from her made me feel unsafe and want to totally forget about EMDR. But I have a different outlook, today. Next week, I will be contacting the other EMDR therapist that my regular therapist recommended. She does take my insurance, but the reason I didn't do a consultation with her is because it was difficult for us to connect, as we kept playing phone tag. I now have another way to contact her,

Thanks again for all the input. I really appreciate it!, I now have a better understanding of how EMDR works.

 

[GardenGirl0214]

@Angelkeeper, I know that she's well trained in EMDR, as the book I'm reading has a link to determine that, and this therapist was mentioned there. But, as you say, paying out of pocket amd not knowing how many sessions I'd need is definitely a determining factor.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@GardenGirl0214 what's worrying me is going to a specific EMDR therapist that is a new person to you. I understand why your therapist is referring you out, but my worry lies with trust, its very much a huge part of the process to be able to establish trust with the therapist doing it.

Does this EMDR dive right in after the consultation or do they give you a chance to talk some, get to know each other some and at least build some trust?

EMDR isnt the entire session, only about 10 or 15 mins or so. So im wondering if they give you some full sessions of sort of trust building and also to feel safe as feeling safe with them is also a huge part.

I am glad that you can go to the one that takes your insur, its likely there will be many many sessions and without insur that would be impossible.

Also, keep in mind that you will be uncomfortable and you will need to advise and redirect to your safe place and push past those emotions but if it really does get too much, it helped me to know that I was in control of it.

I really do hope this helps you, EMDR is such a great way to process memories!

 

[GardenGirl0214]

@lostforgottensoul , I truly wish my current therapist did EMDR because if she did, i wouldn't even be questioning doing it! So I guess the next best thing she CAN do is to refer me to someone SHE knows and trusts.

So, EMDR is only part of the session, even when the reprocessing starts??? The therapist I saw yesterday did not indicate that at all! As a matter of fact, she said she does very little talking. Just when I think I understand, I learn something new! Not necessarily a bad thing, but it's very confusing!

 

[joeylittle]

EMDR isnt the entire session, only about 10 or 15 mins or so. So im wondering if they give you some full sessions of sort of trust building and also to feel safe as feeling safe with them is also a huge part.

This isn't always the case. It depends on the client's tolerance and the therapist's judgment.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

This isn't always the case.

Yeah, im getting to realize that EMDR varies. My therapist advised me it doesnt take up the whole session but we only did it once and maybe 10 mins goes with my tolerance?

He said I had to sit on the flat back chair instead of spread out on the couch, or even sitting on the couch and i had to put my feet flat on the floor and my hands on my legs but then someone had done it completely opposite then what he said i had to do so i dont know.

I do think though that trust and feeling safe is a big thing though with it. I cant imagine doing it with a new therapist but thats me, thats my fear of people and trust issues im sure.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I truly wish my current therapist did EMDR because if she did, i wouldn't even be questioning doing it! So I guess the next best thing she CAN do is to refer me to someone SHE knows and trusts

I knew she had referred you out cause she's not EMDR trained and I know thats a good thing, she's sending you to someone that is.

it's very confusing!

Its gonna vary, everyone has done it different, that's why its seeming confusing.

What id do, go with what she does and says as she's trained for this, but for me, just my opinion, ask about feeling safe and how to establish trust and just something Id do.

EMDR is great and has helped a lot of people but in my opinion, you need to trust and feel safe with the therapist doing it.

Just my thing, I wouldnt be able to do it if its too clinical. Too 'matter of fact'. But thats just my thing. My thing may not be your thing.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

From my own experience, we would talk a bit to talk about my feelings and thoughts since the previous visit. My mind continued to "sort" feelings after the sessions, and I would write down feelings I'd had since the last visit.

Only part of the visit included EMDR. It is a fairly short part of the visit, maybe 10-15 minutes, and we always discussed what we were going to target.

That is comforting and gave me a feeling of control of "where we were going". He was and is always mindful of "where my head is", and it is my choice to use EMDR or not that day.

Sometimes, my mind brought up things that I hadn't remembered, so we delved into that.
It is my feeling that we "bury" memories or experiences, and that they "come up" to be healed, or reprocessed,

It is quite hard to explain, but I do know that I have been able to put some things "to rest" that CBT, had not done. I was able to reprocess some memories so that when I thought of them, they brought up the GOOD memories instead of the painful ones.

The EMDR helped me in other areas of my mind as well. I don't fear the feelings "come up" on their own, but when I CHOOSE to bring them up.
I think you will do well. You are going into it informed, and positive, with little fear. I hope you will keep us informed about your progress!
AKJ
I am having some vision issues, so I hope that this all makes some sense!

 

[GardenGirl0214]

I knew she had referred you out cause she's not EMDR trained and I know thats a good thing, sh...

I have trust issues too, and honestly, it feels like my current therapist is asking me to jump off a cliff by suggesting EMDR! The thought of doing a new therapy with a new therapist is terrifying to me. If the therapist I saw yesterday did take my insurance, I'm still not sure I would have worked with her. She definitely seemed "clinical " to me, but again, this just could have been because it was a consultation. She did say she does very little talking, and I told her that was a foreign concept to me.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@GardenGirl0214 I would go with my gut, if I didnt feel comfortable or trust the person then i wouldnt go with it. Unless the therapist was willing to let me feel a bit more safe. Regardless of how much EMDR is different for everyone, in my opinion, feeling safe is #1!

But if its just because EMDR scared me, Id push past that. So not sure which one it is thats worrying you, EMDR itself or the therapist.

Does that make sense?

 

[angrypanda]

Part of their emdr training is laying ground work, trust and good communication. It was a couple sessions before we did tapping then a couple more before we got out the light bar. Some sessions I need way more emdr light bar then others. Usually the worse off I am, the more light bar. But I trust my therapist and have learned to not fear the light bar.