Yoga As A Supplement To Therapy

[DogwoodTree]

Last week when I ended up flooded yet again at the end of an equine therapy session, the equine T suggested I try adding some other types of activities to supplement the therapeutic work I'm doing with her and my regular T. One of her suggestions was yoga, which initially sounded repulsive to me.

But...later that day, it was like a switch flipped. Suddenly, yoga sounded like a really good thing to try. I could envision learning how to get in tune with my body more, how to manage the energy in my body better, how to understand what relaxes me and what doesn't...how to reclaim this territory in my space that had always been owned by someone else.

So I looked around and found a place where they seem focused more on posture, managing anxiety, increasing flexibility...overall, just a very peaceful approach to yoga rather than making it an aerobic workout. Tonight was the first class. I got there a little early, and as I was filling out the registration, the instructor chatted with me some. I was able to tell her that I have PTSD, and that I don't like to be touched. She said that was helpful to know, and suggested that I try to find a place in the room where I feel comfortable (I chose right next to the back door, lol).

The class isn't specifically trauma yoga, but she said things along the way that were helpful for me (but in a general way so as not to draw attention to me), and I could tell she was watching everyone in the room for signs of distress or needing support or whatever. At one point, I missed the instruction on how to use the strap (because I didn't have one and had to go get one out of the basket while she was moving along with the class), and she came over to talk me through how to get the right pose but didn't touch me. After class, she found a quiet moment and asked how it went for me. We got to talk for a few minutes about my history in very general terms, just so she knows a little better how to help.

I had started having a flashback towards the end of the class...something about settling into a deep relaxation and opening up was really triggering. As usual, I kept it to myself and worked through it on my own. But after I left, I could breathe so much easier, and I felt more open and relaxed anyway, while still feeling like that space inside me is mine and not vulnerable to whatever else is trying to get in. So...it seems there's a lot of opportunity there to learn how to reclaim this territory inside myself, how to relax and open some while still having the autonomy to choose what comes in and what doesn't.

I'm cautiously excited to have possibly found another avenue of recovery work...and happily, it's not all that expensive.

 

[Rumors]

I'm wondering how equine therapy brings up things that make you flood? Do you talk about trauma while brushing a horse? I seriously don't know and just wondered how that worked. I certainly don't mean to pry or get off topic.
I hope yoga helps. I suck at it!

 

[DogwoodTree]

I'm wondering how equine therapy brings up things that make you flood? Do you talk about trauma while brushing a horse? I seriously don't know and just wondered how that worked. I certainly don't mean to pry or get off topic.

That's an excellent question that I haven't really answered for myself yet. And I think the answer will vary for each person anyway.

For me, I don't think it's so much about the horses themselves as it is just being with the Ts in a movement-oriented situation. So...face to face communication is really hard for me. To have something else to focus on, something that also provides metaphorical insights to my issues, helps open up the discussion in ways that it wouldn't otherwise.

And we don't just brush the horses...that's kinda what I expected going into it, but it's much more extensive than that. We spent the first 3 or 4 weeks being in the field with the horses, watching how they interact with each other as a herd (there are 3 horses and a donkey at the place I go to), and then how they interact with us. They're not forced into interaction, and as herd/prey animals, they're very sensitive to the energies of people/animals in their environment. The equine specialist (that's the ranch owner and the one primarily responsible for making sure the horses are tended to during the session) explained the horses' behavior varies fairly dramatically depending on the client and the mood of the session, even with the same activity. This can give a lot of insights.

It's also a good opportunity to explore and experiment with personal boundaries. Horses are really big, of course, and can get a little pushy if you have something they want (like if they want to be scratched or rubbed). If one horse is getting attention and another one wants to push in, sometimes you have to push back. Or if I want to make the horse do something specific, like walk on a lead rope, I have to communicate with the horse instead of using dysfunctional relational patterns that might be ingrained from growing up in a codependent family. It gives me space to practice with different relational styles to figure out what works for me and what that feels like, so I can apply those same tactics in human relationships.

Horses also provide an opportunity for physical contact that's not so overwhelming. People contact is painful, but horse contact can be very relaxing. Plus, in dealing with horses, you have to be alert and present or your toes might get stomped, lol.

But what I flooded over last week...and what I usually flood over...is feeling like I can't connect with anyone on a deep enough level so that I don't walk away from the session feeling desperately lonely and hopeless. Oftentimes when we get to the end of the session, as I realize I'm about to walk into yet another week of feeling like I'm all alone in this darkness...that there's no connection with anyone in a way that provides relief to the pain inside...I start panicking.

I think that eventually there will be more talk about the trauma itself. And sometimes we have a "processing session", where it's just all talk to process stuff that has come up, and no time with the horses. Had one of those a few weeks ago when I had decided my primary T was about to dump me because I thought he didn't like me. We spent the whole time and then some just talking about what had scared me vs what was reality and what all of that means and so on.

 

[Rumors]

Gotcha. By the way, I love dogwood trees. They have such a beautiful bloom.

 

[barefoot]

Great that you've found something that helps and that you got positive stuff out of the class. My therapist was encouraging me to try yoga last year as part of a self-care routine I was trying to establish for myself. At the time I was really anxious and panicky, very hypervigilant and our sessions were very focused on self-care, grounding techniques etc. Like you, just hearing the word yoga was very off-putting for me! I think because I thought I wouldn't be able to do it very well/wouldn't be fit enough/other people in the class would be goddesses etc etc ;-) But the therapist was talking about restorative yoga, which is very different from the more dynamic, exercisey yoga - maybe this is similar to the class you attended? As it turned out, I ended up really coming round to the idea but then couldn't find a restorative yoga class nearby. I figured that a four hour round trip into central London to attend the class I liked the look of was maybe counter-productive! My anxiety and panic is much better at the moment, so maybe I should start looking in to it again as the journey will feel much more manageable...

 

[Definitely..maybe]

I highly recommend yoga for PTSD and other issues. I started about 6 months ago (and totally sucked) but I realized I could make myself just focus on no issues for that one hour, if I couldn't- I'd leave. I actually love it so much that I just finished getting certified to be an instructor!!

 

[watundah]

Bessel Van Der Kolk writes a full chapter on yoga in The Body Keeps the Score. My therapist studied under him and suggested that I do yoga a couple of.months ago. She's also big on somatic experiencing and we do alot of breathing and grounding work in session to help me get back in touch with my body. I used to be the dissociation queen and I think all of these tools are helping. I especially like the focus on breathing and staying in the present that is key in yoga. Plus it's as relaxing as all get out. Definitely nothing but plusses in my book. I know some folks have had flashbacks but I haven't. Perhaps it's a result of being so relaxed, open and receptive it taps into a point of vulnerability?

 

[Cammi]

This is my first post. I joined a yoga class not really expecting it to help. At the end of my first class I had the uncontrollable urge to cry. It wasn't just tears it was a real cry that I couldn't stop from happening. It came out of nowhere. I wasn't thinking about anything, only trying to do what the teacher was asking us to do. I thought well maybe that was a release of a huge amount of stress. Next class the same thing happened, and the next. I thought it was odd since I really wasn't thinking anything, so I looked it up on the computer to see if other people had the irresistible urge to cry. I was surprised that, yes, a lot of people cry during yoga. I also wanted to seeif there were any studies done about this by the medical field. There are many studies but the one that stood out most was one done by the Boston University. This description is just what I remember reading, it isn't a full description, but a general one. It said that some yoga poses stimulate the vagus nerve, which runs throughout your body. It has to do with the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system and the release of chemicals or hormones (something like this can't remember exactly). People with PTSD have too much of one and not enough of another. So stimulation of the Vagus nerve evens these out. That explanation and my experience confirmed for me that it can help, not just my imagination. I feel much better after a class. I quit going for awhile because I was afraid people would see me crying and it was embarrassing to me. Started feeling lousy again so I started up again and feel so much better. But I have to go regulary to keep feeling better. Hope this helps someone. I thought the study was an interesting explanation. I think this may be why yoga helps people. I don't cry every time and go to different yoga studios. I've only cried in one of the studios not the others. Not sure why.

 

[DogwoodTree]

I know some folks have had flashbacks but I haven't. Perhaps it's a result of being so relaxed, open and receptive it taps into a point of vulnerability?

Yeah, I think it's something about relaxing and opening my space...it's like, that resistance to the thoughts and things gets let down a little, and stuff starts coming up. One of my Ts said she was actually very glad to hear that I was able to open like that, and start to feel stuff, even if only for a moment. She said it was a good thing, although to me it felt like a very bad thing--after class, I was berating myself for letting my guard down like that. Now...trying to figure out what the "good" part was so I can keep going after that.

 

[KwanYingirl]

Love, love yoga. I started on the recommendation of my therapist, who BTW, has been taught by Van der Kolk. I began with yin yoga which is done lying on the mat with props to hold the pose so that the small ligaments and tendons can relax. I've learned about mindfulness and how to breathe and I just love it. I do regular Hatha yoga too. I have had flashbacks and I tell our teacher and she offers me alternate postures to avoid that trigger.

Definitely recommend it.