Relationship You Don't Know Me At All

[Chris516]

Justme, Before I respond to your message, I wanted to tell you(and everyone else) that, during one of her 'friendly' moments, she asked me if I had ever wished I was the father of her older(6yrs.-old) daughter, to which I said yes. Because I knew of the guy throughout their marriage(2006-2013, separation 2009). He would smoke in the house, exposing her and their daughter to second-hand cigarette smoke. She left him when he 'came out of the closet', announcing that he was bi-sexual. During one of his weekends with their daughter following the separation, he also was speeding with their toddler(at time) in the car. But even that 'positive' question, along with her positive statements of why I didn't say something after her (late)fiance was killed in Iraq, and almost suggesting I move up there. I have to equally temper that with the negative.

 

[Chris516]

Justme, The co-dependency being, she takes her anger out on me?

I figured she was using those defenses.

Boundaries are extremely important.

Yes, I need to tell her, to stop telling me F-You, and to F-Off.

I know my friend cares. It is just that, her back isn't against wall, like when she almost died in 2012. It is that her caring is buried so deep down. Under all the anger.