Your Opinion On This Therapist!

[Abby]

I´m really not sure on my therapist. After reading the above threads on trauma therapy, I´m less sure.
I basically choose this therapist because I felt comfortable enough with her, meaning she wasn´t pushy or unfriendly and I was tired of looking. I have tested 13 therapists before.

I have seen her since May and have had 8 sessions.

I´m concerned by the following:

She is an analytical therapist not exactly specialised on trauma

She says very very little and asks little questions, when I answer, she doesn´t respond with a lot.

I don´t feel like there "happened" a lot inside of me since I went to her (other than with other therapists I´ve seen, but felt more uncomfortable with)

She spent an awfull lot of time during the sessions (not even at the beginning or end but the middle) to talk about future appointmens and insurance, paper stuff.

She doesn´t offer help with dealing with acute problems like physical stress, sleeping difficulty, or dealing with my alcoholic mother (she told me to go to a self-help group for alcoholic´s children, but never mentioned it afterwards)

Sessions have not much structure, I just go in and she lets me talk about anything, so I end up a lot of the times caught into some minor details, having lost an overview, leaving frustrated because it wasn´t what I feel I needed to talk about. I think I know what i need to talk about and I told her repeadetly, yet, she doesn´t ask or structure so I really do not know how to get beginning since it´s not like I WANT to talk about it, I just feel that I really need to.

She doesn´t seem very concerned about my progress, it seems to me. Sometimes she seems bored (but maybe that´s just me?) I mean, I understand that she must remain in a distance, but I´m really really desperate and motivated to get better and work hard on recovering, it seems like we´re not on the same boat here.

Then again, maybe this is just her way of doing therapy and eventually it will work some time??

One part of me says: her way of handling is not right for me and she not as commited as I am

Another says: well, who am I to know? she´s the therapist, that studied these things for years, not me.... :confused:

What do you think?

 

[Chosen]

I think you already know. She's not helping; she's not a good fit for you. I would resume shopping for a counselor. Difficult, but when you find the right fit, well worth it.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I agree with Noah. I would trust your guy instincts. She is not helping you and you are wasting your time and energy and money.

I think you need to out again and look some more. It takes time to find one that works for you. Sorry you are having this problem.

I have had therapists that did not help me. I am in emdr now, and I like the therapist very much. We are a good fit. After I am done with this, I will have to look for another therapist for myself. It is hard but keep trying and do not give up. I wish you the best. Good luck.

 

[Hashi]

If you're already tried 13 therapists I can understand you might be reluctant to decide to change now. Only you can know whether to, and as a first step in deciding I'd suggest talking with your T about how you're feeling and what she thinks.

I'd also suggest that when you decide you do it with an open mind, don't let the 13 other therapists influence you, but base your decision on whether you think this T is a good match for you and you'll make progress with her.

It could also be that information about trauma therapists (or therapy in general) wasn't available to you before, and you have more knowledge now that could help you find a therapist who's a better fit, or talk to your current T about an approach that would suit you better. Reading old posts in this forum might help with that. There are some about finding therapists and what to look for/ask your current T for.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Go talk to a wall. It will probably be equally effective, plus it's free.

Looking for a therapist SUCKS but you've wasted even more time by settling for someone based solely on the fact that you feel comfortable with her?

I challenge you with this... Perhaps the reason you're so comfortable with her is that she doesn't push you beyond your so called comfort zone. IMHO in order to make progress we need to have someone to help push us forward, and this change isn't meant to be easy!

 

[Lucycat]

In my opinion you are having this discussion with the wrong people. Print out your post and show it to your T. Let HER know its not working for you. She may be a therapist but you cannot expect her to be a mind reader. Tell her what you want and expect and then make a decision based on her response.

YOU are in control of therapy. You decide what to discuss and what you want to achieve. It is a 2 way street and you have to be prepared to do a lot of hard work to progress. It is usually a very slow process in lots of baby steps. But take stock and see if ( at all) you have moved forward. Sometimes our expectation is to see huge leaps forward and that rarely happens.

Good luck! But please talk to T before you jump ship!

 

[piratelady]

I agree with Lucy you need to talk to your therapist about what you need from therapy. If after discussing it, you see no improvement then perhaps it's time to start looking for a therapist again. That being said, don't spend time with someone who doesn't push you at least a little because the idea of looking for a new therapist again is daunting. It is best to move on if you can't salvage the relationship.

 

[Whitneys story]

I hate to think the almighty buck does make a difference. Not saying it is right. This is your money. Would it be helpful for you to write down a plan of what you feel needs to be addressed. Some goals you would like to accomplish. Then you have something to judge the therapists response/lack of, with. We tend to expect them to be mind readers yet they are human. Success with your journey! Hugs Whitney