Feelings Are Registering As Physical Pain?

[theshadowoftheliving]

Caveat: I think this is posted in the right place ...

Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this or has any any advice on how to deal with this. In therapy (I'm currently doing a twelve-session CPT therapy, which is super structured and doesn't allow room for deviations, for the most part) my therapist has told me that I should allow myself to feel my feelings, which makes sense.

The catch is that the feelings are translating in the form of physical pain and I'm having a hard time dealing with that. You know the white-hot, stabbing pain that's almost euphoric at the moment that you slam your finger in a door or injure yourself in some other way? I have that kind of pain, almost all the time. If I dissociate, it goes away, but I have so many problems with dissociation and I'm trying to stay more grounded for safety concerns (like driving or wandering into traffic when I'm spaced out). So what do I do? This pain is almost unbearable. But the dissociation is also almost unbearable and certainly not helpful.

I feel caught in a trap; either option is unhelpful, and both feel harmful. Any advice on how to feel feelings without feeling pain?

 

[Changing4Best]

Some of my emotions cause physical pains too, like when I feel anxiety, I get these pains in my upper abdomen. So you are not alone. When I feel anxiety and these pains, I ask the Lord Jesus to take them away and He does.

 

[Born to Run]

I wonder if the current therapy is too heavy on you. Are you stable enough to just allow you to feel your feelings? Is there enough support for you? When both alternatives -stabbing pain vs dissociation- are hell, then there is something wrong in my opinion. As on neither side there seems a path for growth. You mention feeling caught in a trap, that is exactly what I mean. Feeling feelings without feeling physical pain is possible, but the emotions need to be contained at a certain dosage/level for you to be able to handle them and not be overwhelmed by them, as you are now. Being overwhelmed constantly and going into dissociation is not helpful and as you say most likely harmful instead.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

what is CPT?

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

@Born to Run I'm not sure - I guess that this might be a sign that it's too heavy? I thought that I was stable (at least, outwardly so) but now I'm not sure. I know that I'm not in danger of being physically harmed, but this pain is still so very real and now that it's here, I don't know what to do with it.

@Solara CPT is Cognitive Processing Therapy. It's a relatively new therapy and functions as an offshoot of CBT. It's kicking my butt, apparently.

 

[Born to Run]

Did you discuss this severe pain with your therapist? They should be able to help you with this. I am quite unfamiliar with cognitive therapies.

 

[Tinyflame]

Amongst other things I get excrutiating headaches I think are related to stress. I guess they would be related to emotions, fear or dread being one (or overwhelm).

 

[Kintsugi]

I don't have any solutions to offer. All I can say is that after my first session with my new T, I remembered a symptom I'd forgotten about, which reappeared directly after our session--terrible pain in my hands. I get pain that seems to radiate from my chest down through my arms and into my hands, and it is extremely upsetting. My T is also all about feeling feelings. I think she and I were moving too fast the first three sessions. The last session, we almost took something like a break. I didn't have to tell her it was too much, that we needed to tone it down, although I was going to tell her that. All I said was that I'd had a meltdown a couple nights previous, so we dealt with that, and my symptoms are lessening.

Can you tell her you may need to slow down?

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

I did discuss the pain with my therapist. We talked about slowing down. This IS slowing down, in a lot of ways. I've only seen her twice, so I'll talk to her again when I see her at the end of the week.

I think that I try to push myself too far, maybe. I've always assumed that I'm a lazy person, and my desire to prove myself as a "good" client and a "hardworking" person are getting in the way. I'm also panicked because I only have ten more sessions, and I'm afraid that if I slow down, I won't make enough progress. I also think that outwardly, I always look more okay than I am inwardly, so maybe even though I told her about things, it just hasn't registered with her.

I just wish I didn't have to have suck ***&*&^34 pain in the process of getting better ….