Is There A Common Ground?

[Handymandy]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for awhile now, and I'll admit I'm head over heels in love with this man. He's smart, unbelievably funny, he never ceases to bring a smile to my face, he challenges me out of my comfort zone to be a better person on a daily basis.
He suffers from ptsd and has opened up to me about some pretty deep stuff, I know that I will never truly understand what he goes through on a day to day basis nor do I pretend to. He has bad and good days and most of the time I don't know what to say or do other than let him know I love him and am there for him whether it's an ear to listen or a shoulder to lean on. I feel like I put my all into being as patient and understanding as I can, but sometimes I just feel a lack of emotional support from him on the days I need him to be there for me, granted my problems or my bad days are no where near his, but I still need that emotional support. Am I being selfish, I just feel an emotional void sometimes- is that something that will ever change?? Will it be something we can overcome?? Ive tried talking to him about it, but I'm not sure that he truly understands. I just wish I could understand ptsd better. It just hurts my heart so much that this something he has to wake up and deal with everyday.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I think that your needs are very important, and no, it is not selfish to need emotional support. However, with PTSD there is no guarantee that in the future he will be able to give you all the support you need. But, I think this is true in many relationships as no one person can always be your everything. I encourage you to keep lines of communication open with your guy so that he knows when you may be in need of support. Sometimes we get so wrapped up with our own issues that we don't always remember that others have needs, too. I also encourage you to form supportive relationships outside of your partnership.

I think that things can indeed get better between the two of you, it will just take some work and lots of communication. Good luck!