Poconogirl
New Here
Deaths of people I loved always comes in 3s of some form. I've buried 18 people in 12 years all different ages all different reasons. It all started in 2004 when my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer in May and passed away in July as I held her hand and told her it was OK to I'd take care of Pop(my grandfather, her husband). In 2006 I lost my uncle, 3 days later my other grandma(his mom) passed away. In 2007 I said goodbye to a neighbor I've known most of my life. March 2008 cousin commits suicide, 3 months later cancer takes my great aunt, 3 months after that 2 types of cancer take my grandfather the strongest man i have ever known on the same day as my neighbor the year before. 2009 I held my best friends hand as we watched her mom pass away 4 days before Christmas. In 2010 my great unlce passed, 2011 another great aunt, In 2012 I sat with my pop and held his hand as passed away and joined my grandmother in heavan. 2013 another great uncle a few days after Thanksgiving. In 2014 I lost 3 very close family friends. Last year I lost 4 more members of my family. Before each of these deaths I had severe nightmares, I still have nightmares and flashbacks when the anniversary days get close. I have at least 6 of these dates coming up. And I'm not allowed to show emotions in front of my mother cause according to her I should be over all of these. I live with her in the house my pop died in I don't know how to handle all the emotions that are being stirred up on top of the nightmares and sleeplessness.
