Funny Story

[2quilt]

Well, I just sent Jeff Foxworthy my story, on his website. We'll see if he uses it and makes me famous.

Oh yeah, and Mercy, this cruise we're going on is actually on Celebrity cruiselines; they are supposed to be one of the high-end lines. I bought the least expensive cabin category because I like to get bargains, and because we don't really need a window to be happy. After reading some of the other posts on one of the cruise critiquing sites, I am imagining that DH and I will be the only couple on the ship who shop the thrift stores.

If we just happen to be seated with a bunch of snobs at supper, I have a plan: I am so proud of myself on this one, so I am going to tell all of you: DH and I are not high society folks (You knew that) so I didn't have any evening gowns for this cruise's formal nights. Ever since we bought the cruise, I have been shopping the thrift stores looking for elegant stuff to wear on the cruise. Well, I am just happy dancing because 2 months ago, I happened to find a beautiful burgundy shiny evening gown with little swirls of tiny rhinestones (diamonds) on the chest area, ankle length, and with a long sleeve jacket. It was from Dillards (an expensive department store) and the dress had all it's original tags on it. Never been worn! Had the price of $170 on it (originally, Dillards' price). The thrift store has half price days for certain colored price tags, and today was my lucky day--this dress was priced at $60, so I was supposed to get it for $30. I tried it on and it fit perfectly!
So I go up to the cash register just doing a dance and grinning. I tell the cashier how happy he has made me and that I am wearing this dress on a cruise! While I am gushing over this evening gown, he accidently rings up the wrong price of $3.00 instead of $30.00 and asks me for $3.20...
I correct him, and he tells me to hush and have a nice cruise. I wanted to kiss him.

So just in case we are seated at a large table of wealthier-than-thou people, I am going to tell them all that I am wearing a three-dollar dress. And if they scowl, I might just pick food out of my bra at the table, if I decide to wear a bra.

That's how we will end up at a two-person table for the rest of the cruise.

 

[cragger65]

Ahhh, sweet guy for making your special cruise even better. If the snobs wince at the $3.00 pricetag, you just show them your torn up underwear you got for .99 cents 20 years ago... that'll learn 'um ;P

 

[2quilt]

DH says that instead of eating out of my bra with my hands during the formal dinner, I should be a lady and use a fork.

 

[2quilt]

Some of the posting people on that cruise website were talking snobbishly about they hope the Wal-Mart crowd doesn't come on this cruise. Since they don't know who I really am, I replied that I am going to wear my homemade bikini-thong I just finished making with hankies and fishing line to the pool every day. And I also told them I weigh 500 pounds. With belly scars.
DH and I are going to have a great time making these people scream.

 

[cragger65]

:rofl: Bring it to 'em, girl!!

 

[Mercy]

Some of the posting people on that cruise website were talking snobbishly about they hope the Wal-Mart crowd doesn't come on this cruise. Since they don't know who I really am, I replied that I am going to wear my homemade bikini-thong I just finished making with hankies and fishing line to the pool every day. And I also told them I weigh 500 pounds. With belly scars.
DH and I are going to have a great time making these people scream.

Laughter is really the best medicine!! You are a hoot.

I have the misfortune of coming from the Boston Brahmin folks. They said I had to marry some one with a good education, who could support me in the style to which I was accustomed(gag) and come form a good family. So I married a real Brahmin from India, with a good education and ran as fast as I could to get away from all that crap. They didn't say he had to be Christian, White or American and he isn't. We've been married 31 yrs.

You go girl. You are just as worthy, if not more worthy, of being a respected member of the guests as any one else.

Kick the stuffed shirts right between the eyes with well stabbed peas. I'm assuming you know how to play pool (?) Have a great time!!:Hug_emoticon:

 

[2quilt]

Mercy,
I got the same predjudices from my family too: I fell in love with or dated a Salvadoran, a Thai, A Burmese,a Vietnamese, a Lebanese and other mutts of mixed ancestry, which made my family shudder and ask me "Why can't you get a white guy?" I love black hair and dark eyes! I finally settled on a part Cherokee with delicious dark skin, except his butt, which never saw sunshine. Naked, he kinda looks like an oreo. My family was not invited to our wedding. They never knew about it.

DH's family are not pretentious at all, but are Christian religious fanatics and we are Humanist-Atheists, but not mean Atheists. They try to tell us how to live, and we ignore them.

As long as we all love each other and treat each other well, who cares what we look like physically?

 

[valleyofthedolls]

hi, im new and feel like a dolt, i cant seem to figure how to start a thread or a post? you seem nice and i thought maybe you can help direct me, how do i get started? i registered. i just don't see a place that says where to start a new thread re ptsd or ask questions others may be able to answer...
anyhow, i will leave my computer on this page as i try to get some sleep (insomnia) and i will just hope you see this and maybe can give me any kind of direction...anyone?

 

[2quilt]

Valley,

About halfway down the page is a spot that says "New Thread" white letters inside a gray area. It's in the same spot as the "Post Reply" button, which is white words inside a gray area, on this page.
On the first page of the website, you click on a subject that is underlined, like for example, "PTSD Success Stories" and that will take you to that page, then about halfway down is the "New Thread" button. Okay?

 

[Marlene]

2quilt,

I married into a redneck family, too. The first time I saw Jeff Foxworthy do the 'You might be a redneck' routine, I could name my husband's family memebers that sounded like each part of the skit.

I grew up in one of those 'oh so perfect' families. Everything had to be just so without exception. Then I met my husband and that ideal that I had pounded into my head has been being removed for the past 22 years. I gotta tell you...it's a hell of a lot more fun to be in a family that's relaxed rather than continually uptight. I can still put on the mask of how I was raised, but I'd rather be who I am now.

Years ago, my MIL and I were going to go to Walmart on Saturday. She asked if I was ready to go and we both said at the same time, 'I'll be ready as soon as I put on a bra'. LOL

So you just go ahead and pick the crumbs out of your bra (after all, they're bothersome if you leave them in there) and have a good time. Enjoy your $3 dress on that cruise. And if you're ever in Tampa and want to go thrift store shopping, give me a holler.

Lisa

 

[Kunoichi]

Valley,

go to the introductions forum :) It should be a few lines up and you can post your introduction there. If you go to the PTSD area you can see posts and then posts your own thread by hitting "get started".

*****

2quilt:

LOL you had me laughing my head off the entire time!!!

 

[2quilt]

One More Funny Story Before I leave on the Cruise

Okay, so DH (then BF) and I had known each other for ten whole days. We met on Thanksgiving and the lust began. On that tenth day, I arrived at his apartment in a trench coat with very little on underneath. He had the lights off and candles everywhere, Enya on the stereo, and he was wearing nothing but three year old bachelor underwear hanging on one hip because the elastic was shot. The underwear was gray, but that was not it's original color. Sexy.
The fun began. We're in his bed Hmm-mmmm, and Suddenly we hear a loud, high-pitched humming noise. BF looks at me in a funny way. ( He later told me that he thought the noise was coming from my mouth since I was panting at the time.)
Then the flames erupted. From the pillow. One of those nice candles on the bedside table had turned over. BF is on top, but trying to beat out a fire on my pillow before it catches my long hair! All I could do was turn my head to the side and blow toward the flames.
Magic moment officially killed.
We were so busy that we didn't even realize that the apartment was full of smoke. We had to open the door and run outside to get fresh air and stop the alarm to prevent the entire apartment complex from evacuating. We still have what's left of the pillow.