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Deleted member 28862
A letter to my 14 year old self
I just want to start by saying I am so f*cking sorry. We’re 21 now and it has gotten even worse. We endured more sexual abuse and rape, we endured more mental abuse and emotional. We’re at the age that we have to “get up go out and get a job” yet on our island the unemployment rate is at all time high at 63%. We have a better chance of being killed in the capital were everyone is telling us to go to search for a job.
You’re gonna get a dog and you’re gonna feel happy for some time but then it’ll comeback, you’ll get a fish and the depression comes back, you’ll get a bunny that will die and it will destroy you. After coming back from physical therapy your back will have you in so much pain you won’t sleep for more than 3 hours a week for months.
At 19 we’re gonna be at our heaviest and you’ll see it and you’ll stop eating you’re gonna get smaller but you’ll still hate yourself. You’ll manage to find a shit job cleaning goat shit and shaving dogs, while being mentally and emotionally abused by your boss. At 20 you’re gonna try and drink your life away but it wont work. You’ll also adopt another dog and end up keeping one of the puppies. Your boss will break you down so far that you quit and have to live with you’re abusive parents….again.
Each day will have a second of happiness…that one second when you first wake up and you don’t remember your life, and then it will come crashing down. We’re 21 with our 22 coming up in August and we’re not going to make it there. You’ve recently gotten rid of you bird. He deserved to be around other’s like him. But now as you contemplate suicide, you feel sorry for your dogs that will be put down if you do. That’s what we’re holding onto. We have no one to talk to, we even try talking to total strangers but everything is just shut down or simplified. We’ve fought a long fight. We even lost our faith in God.
I’m sorry, I wish we didn’t continue to lie to each otheer every day while getting bullied at school that it gets better.
I wish we didn’t lie and say our parents will get better
I wish we didn’t lie and say our situation will get better
I wish we didn’t lie and say that we will get better.
Because we didn’t. I’m sorry…we cry to sleep every night. We use tumblr as our only outlet cause no one knows us and no one cares to know. We don’t want to open up anymore it’s not worth it anymore. We cut everyday and fake smiles as well. We purge everyday and threw up soon after as well. We’ve slipped right back to where we were when we was 14.
I’m sorry, I am so sorry. We should’ve taken our life at 16. We wouldn’t suffer anymore
I just want to start by saying I am so f*cking sorry. We’re 21 now and it has gotten even worse. We endured more sexual abuse and rape, we endured more mental abuse and emotional. We’re at the age that we have to “get up go out and get a job” yet on our island the unemployment rate is at all time high at 63%. We have a better chance of being killed in the capital were everyone is telling us to go to search for a job.
You’re gonna get a dog and you’re gonna feel happy for some time but then it’ll comeback, you’ll get a fish and the depression comes back, you’ll get a bunny that will die and it will destroy you. After coming back from physical therapy your back will have you in so much pain you won’t sleep for more than 3 hours a week for months.
At 19 we’re gonna be at our heaviest and you’ll see it and you’ll stop eating you’re gonna get smaller but you’ll still hate yourself. You’ll manage to find a shit job cleaning goat shit and shaving dogs, while being mentally and emotionally abused by your boss. At 20 you’re gonna try and drink your life away but it wont work. You’ll also adopt another dog and end up keeping one of the puppies. Your boss will break you down so far that you quit and have to live with you’re abusive parents….again.
Each day will have a second of happiness…that one second when you first wake up and you don’t remember your life, and then it will come crashing down. We’re 21 with our 22 coming up in August and we’re not going to make it there. You’ve recently gotten rid of you bird. He deserved to be around other’s like him. But now as you contemplate suicide, you feel sorry for your dogs that will be put down if you do. That’s what we’re holding onto. We have no one to talk to, we even try talking to total strangers but everything is just shut down or simplified. We’ve fought a long fight. We even lost our faith in God.
I’m sorry, I wish we didn’t continue to lie to each otheer every day while getting bullied at school that it gets better.
I wish we didn’t lie and say our parents will get better
I wish we didn’t lie and say our situation will get better
I wish we didn’t lie and say that we will get better.
Because we didn’t. I’m sorry…we cry to sleep every night. We use tumblr as our only outlet cause no one knows us and no one cares to know. We don’t want to open up anymore it’s not worth it anymore. We cut everyday and fake smiles as well. We purge everyday and threw up soon after as well. We’ve slipped right back to where we were when we was 14.
I’m sorry, I am so sorry. We should’ve taken our life at 16. We wouldn’t suffer anymore
