Not Meant To Rehash

[Ava Jarvis]

Wait

There is chocolate?

I was not aware of this chocolate

How do we make it appear

 

[mary1979]

Wait

There is chocolate?

I was not aware of this chocolate

How do we make it appear

At my work we just stroke the boss ladies ego and it appears?

 

[joeylittle]

If I could send chocolate over the inter webs, I would. But thanks, @mary1979 - I do appreciate it, and I don't take it as ego stroking. :tup:

Now, gotta find that chocolate.

 

[Sammyiam]

I have a homemade chocolate recipe that was my grandmothers, it would be 100 years old, and its yummy as, here it is ..... See you can send chocolate through the Internet. You just have to think outside the square :p

Warning can be very addictive !

5 ozs kremelta
1 Cup of icing sugar
3 desert spoons of cocoa
1 cup of full cream milk powder

Melt kremelta in a pot, then add to shifted dry ingredients mix together in a bowl then set in a tray in the fridge. You can add other things like raisins etc.

Sammy

 

[Sandstone]

Oh, ok.

I have a lot of problems like... Parsing stuff like this. I have a very poor view of mysel...

I think you and I may have lot in common.
I completely recognise the instinct to follow the rules of the strongest, and awareness of my compliance makes me doubt my judgement. I also understand the need consciously to learn societal rules. I've posted often about my total isolation as a small child. If we grow up in a situation where there is one unpredictable dictator, being able to read quickly what is expected is essential. If those expectations aren't the norms for wider society, we are always at a loss. I've been tested for autism, and am not on the spectrum, but I identify with the sense of being "other", being unlike most people and needing to watch and learn the rules.

Closer to the threads theme, recently I've been much less inclined to post, because I'm afraid of the petty bickering. I've also been afraid to comment on it, because I didn't want to become a part of it. I want to be challenged not criticised. It does feel as though those invisible rules we struggle to learn have been flexing in an alarming way recently.

 

[Sideways]

I'm afraid of the petty bickering.

I've found it really distressing. I feel like each time I managed to be "in the room" when the chaos broke out. I don't like conflict, my instinct is to retreat.

But this is a place where we come and practice all the healthy skills that were lost to our abuse. And two of the skills that we actually gained from our abuse are resilience and courage. If you are a member of this forum, you have both, or you wouldn't have signed up.

So, we concede that it was a hella bad day, we thank god for threads like this one that remind us that, in feeling intimidated by the chaos, we were part of the silent majority, and we reach in to our courage and resilience reserves to reclaim the forum as a safe and accepting place.

With you completely with how you felt about it all, and grateful to you for having the courage to say so:)

 

[mary1979]

I've found it really distressing. I feel like each time I managed to be "in the room" when the...

Super depressing, this place is usually so well glued together.
And the two people involved are both lovely and valuable members who's posts I always like to read.

We all melt down occasionally, and here is such a safe place to do so as everyone understands.

I hope both girls are back after a short break and this doesn't affect their time here too badly.

The ripple effect has so much impact I think because everyone here genuinely cares, a misunderstanding like this causes everyone to pause and question their own errors in judgement.

I definitely wonder now how many I affect whom dont speak up.

This just shows how well the community works as a support mechanism.
If this same issue occurred elsewhere, trolls would be feeding, bullies would be plentiful and half the people involved would deactivate their accounts.

Here we have half the people asking how can they help, and the other half considering their own behaviour as a result.

Always a silver lining :)

 

[Silent one]

This was a great discussion to have! I have been here less than a month. Without input from others I would not have learned anything here about myself and others. It is imperative that we all gain support and nurture one another!

 

[anthony]

I know I will often say things about "me" when I am trying to make the suggestion

Here is what I see is the issue. The above quote, there is no issue in that alone, however, the issue comes from people doing this and what happens is they write a couple of sentences about the on-topic aspect, and instead of writing a sentence or two about the "me" part where you're trying to use your experience towards the topic, people write paragraphs of waffle about them and their expierence, their situation, and now that small on-topic aspect is lost amongst a whole lot of noise.

I have a simple approach to responses, if anything about "me" is not short, sharp and to the point, then I am detracting from the thread. Unless the threads topic is specifically asking about individual experiences, then it is just noise. There is a line where "me" talk becomes a very large distraction, and that is what many struggle with IMHO.

Members should focus on the topic, primarily, and again, if they can't keep "me" talk to the bare minimum of the total content, and that the "me" talk has direct and bearing relevance, then I honestly wouldn't respond to the thread, because that is intentionally taking something off-topic to what the OP is asking.

Any OP who wants their thread to stay on topic, should simply say that in the near first line of the threads opening post. Nobody has an excuse then for missing it amongst any noise in the post. If they don't, then it is also rightly acceptable to any responders that the OP doesn't care, and thus conversation can naturally deviate.

There are a handful of members at present who it seems, just can't help but respond with total waffle onto others threads, and responses to posts, and most of it typically has little bearing. If anyone wants to talk about themselves that much, that is why we have diaries... so you can talk about yourself all you want without pissing anyone else off by railroading their discussion.

Just my opinion.

 

[mary1979]

Here is what I see is the issue. The above quote, there is no issue in that alone, however, the issue comes...

This! If intent is clear no mistakes can be made.
There's a job for you, to make it clear for us minions, a NO OT button haha.

 

[anthony]

a NO OT button haha

That has been suggested before, and thought about, and prefixes can do that... but then you have people who change their mind, then you have old threads where OP's have left and then the thread veers naturally at a later date.

 

[ladee]

We don't need more buttons.. we need to be responsible posters.