Answer Me This With The Truth

[atwistedfate]

Ok here goes
Why is it that people judge??? I mean why is it no matter what I do or what I say I feel that my life is always being picked apart. Example.... I got this guy at work that came to me and said that the way I am living my life is wrong and that if I don't change he won't talk to me. I walked away and now I am pissed off so much that I can't think of anything eles. I know I should just let this go but I cant.

 

[scout86]

Why is it that people judge?

Different reasons. It depends on the person.

I mean why is it no matter what I do or what I say I feel that my life is always being picked apart.

That's a different question and you might be the only person who knows the answer. Is "always" accurate? That guy has an opinion. He's entitled to have it. He might be wrong. It's up to you to decide how you feel about his opinion and what you're going to do with both the feeling and the opinion.

Do you agree with his opinion? Do you care whether or not he talks to you?

 

[atwistedfate]

Different reasons. It depends on the person.

That's a different question and you might be the only per...

Part of me dose and part of me don't give a rats ass what he says

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

Why is it that people judge?

I think because they're people. I think everyone judges at some point in their life. What they do with their judgments is different and why they are judging is different.

I mean why is it no matter what I do or what I say I feel that my life is always being picked apart.

I don't know if your life really is being picked apart no matter what, but I do know for me that I often feel like I can't do anything right and I have learned that I feel that way because of messages from the past. It's really hard to separate that out.

I know I should just let this go but I cant.

This probably means you wish you could just let it go, but there's probably more you need to think about. Like @scout86 said, only you know how you feel about what he said and what you want to do about it. It's frustrating for me when other people judge me, so I can imagine how hard it is, especially when you feel as if it is happening over and over again.

 

[Chimera]

The why?
That part isnt worth your time.
This guy...
He is a manipulator, first self doubt..then they tell you how you are supposed to "feel/act/think" ......he is Wrong.

Dismiss him as soon as you are able.

 

[atwistedfate]

This guy...
He is a manipulator, first self doubt..then they tell you how you are supposed to "feel/act...

I call him a friend or at least I thought that he was

 

[Sideways]

People judge. It's the human condition. Everything from which person you're gonna sit next to on the bus (that chick looks safer, that guy looks like he's gonna take up too much space, that person looks like they're gonna ask me for change or try and pick my pocket...) to the big stuff (that's the person I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with).

It's going on in our heads all the time. We learn about people, we apply what we've learned to the people we come across. Keeps us safe, saves us time, helps us connect. And for some people, like this guy, it helps them been an @rse.

But the statement "I feel like..." - that's the juice. Why do you feel that way? Where did that learned distorted cognition come from? And how to we turn it into a healthy, realistic and helpful thought?

 

[atwistedfate]

I think because they're people. I think everyone judges at some point in their life. Wha...

Yeah that's how I feel

 

[Chimera]

I don't think he is acting like a friend, it's ok,...let it be.

 

[atwistedfate]

People judge. It's the human condition. Everything from which person you're gonna sit next to...

That's what I don't know what to do is to feel lol I trusted him and he dose this

 

[atwistedfate]

I don't think he is acting like a friend, it's ok,...let it be.

It's hard for me to open up to people and I did with him

 

[Stickler]

Do you really want to talk to an obnoxious (p-word) who thinks he has the right to tell you how to live your life?
I say this as a person going to hell in three major world religions. *Pulls up asbestos underwear*.
HE has a problem with the way you live your life?
Don't make it yours.

I get that hurt and anger thing though...I was an out queer way before it was cool ( So hipster...)

Look at it as an opportunity to wind him up.

Edited: yeah...having trust betrayed? Ouch. And he did.
Sometimes we only find out in retrospect that we've trusted the wrong person.

Was there any indication that he would turn on you?
Looking for those in people can help avoid getting scorched.
Won't eliminate the danger entirely, just part of Emotional Risk Management.