My Daily Life

[BrianX]

I feel like in my life I win the negative lottery fairly regularly. You know the 1 in a 10 million thing that happens to me over and over. Weird, f'd up shit all the god damn time. I love how when some crap I own breaks I go to get parts and the clerk has never heard of what happened to me before. Never.
I try so hard to succeed and most of the time everything becomes a wreck and a failure. Honestly I don't know how I keep going.

 

[Eagle3]

Sounds like me and my life. I feel like I have to fight three times as hard to make just a few inches of progress in anything I try to do. Its exhausting beyond description. I'm in one of those spots where I'm tired of trying and ready to coast on life's momentum for a bit, but I know that's not going to last long and I'll either end up actively suicidal, or I'll get up and try again.

 

[BrianX]

Sounds like me and my life. I feel like I have to fight three times as hard to make just a few inches of p...

I agree 100%. I think to myself I have to break my back for things that "regular" people take for granted. I get very frustrated when I give so much and get back so little. I have to realize most people are selfish assholes I guess. But it goes to life too. I can fix things but it takes me a long time and like I said the most f'd up shit breaks. I usually can't afford to pay anyone to fix my stuff so I have to figure it out or go without. People don't know or understand how hard it is for me to function somewhat normally, whatever that means.

 

[Stickler]

Story time...

I tried to get a concussed raccoon off the freeway. It bit me. I needed rabies shots. I also got the amusement of the ER nursing staff, for free, on at least one of the four visits to get my butt injected...
(Well... It was pretty darkly comical...)

ANYWAY...
So I was bicycling one morning and was attacked by a pitbull. There were actually two pits, but only one bit me.
...I called the cops as those dogs should not have been loose, the fence gate was left open.
When Animal Control came by, I was told that the dog had dropped dead about 3 days after she went after me, and they'd thrown the body in the trash.
...Dog had no rabies shots.
...She'd chomped on one of the few thousand (maybe) people in the county who'd already been vaccinated.

...And that's how my life works.

Another one?
I changed companies to get away from a cruddy boss. Then my new company merged with my old one.
...And suddenly...when I called on shift...I heard THAT voice...of the colossally incompetent manager... AHHHHH! :mad:

I try to mentally box up the frustration and laugh at the weirdness.
Feeling sorry for myself, or furious...it usually doesn't help me so much.

Just rolling with it, calming and centering myself, that works best.
I don't have a TON of control over the shitstorm life throws at me, and quite often the life decisions I have made are, sadly, bad ones...
Like not immediately applying for other jobs to get away from horrible boss again, or MAYBE I should have just quit entirely and gone to school full time and then I wouldn't be a broke-ass 43-year old?
Hindsight's 20/20, and I facepalm so much there's practically a handprint indented in my face.

I will do my best to correct trajectory in the future.
However, the only thing I have control over is my response to what happens to me.

 

[ladee]

Sorry this is happening for you, but also glad to know I am not alone. If it can f*ck up, it will. My toilet wouldn't drain. A lot of rain here recently. So after trying to get someone to help, couldn't afford a plumber, I ended up having to stick my hand and arm down into that accumulated 'stuff', and with a shoehorn, I unstopped it... I ran out of the house, stepped in standing water, slipped, but didn't fall, hurt my bad knee, and ran to the outside faucet... didn't bring any soap, ran back into the house, stepped in the same standing water.. slid half way to the door, got the soap, and damned if I didn't do the same thing all over again... could only laugh at that point !!! Nobody is that damned stupid, right?? Time to take a look at insanity, 'repeating the same thing over and over, expecting different results', so ya, you are not alone... but humor is my only outlet sometimes... it's just life, and it runs me ragged... oh, and I have some responsibility in there somewhere !!!:meh::playful:

 

[Souless]

I feel like in my life I win the negative lottery fairly regularly. You know the 1 in a 10 million thin...

Yeah me too. That saying "if it can go wrong it will"..that's me. Can't stand people making it that everything that goes wrong is my fault, when I already thought of that one. I'm new here, UK is a nightmare over mental health. Used to browse this forum but so low, really need people/support that don't make me feel like a freak.

 

[Gadgie]

Quote....."really need people/support that don't make me feel like a freak."

Welcome to the site, you will get all the support you need from the folk on this site, they are all understanding and very helpful as well, as they know exactly what you are going through.

I was a total wreck when I first joined this site and everyone was so helpful, they saw me through the worst time of my life, and I so grateful to them for that, food luck.

 

[Souless]

Yeah me too. That saying "if it can go wrong it will"..that's me. Can't stand people making it that e...

Curious to know what medication is being 'generally' handed out in US for PTSD, I cannot take SSRI'is all they will allow me is propranolol...Great, it's like they they want me to drink or something?..Yes Prop stops me having a heart attack when in panic/anxiety mode but it dosen't help my thoughts about attending social occasions etc. and it does NOT stop the anxiety...Ive started to think no one can help and that the Netherlands and Belgiu have a very valid point in how they 'care' for hopeless people.

 

[Souless]

I feel like in my life I win the negative lottery fairly regularly. You know the 1 in a 10 million thin...

Yeah I want to know how we keep going..ref UK..they don't care at all and the NPS ACT just legalised Government 'Highs', alcohol 8000 deaths a year, at least and tobacco 100,000.. Theres a funny critter on here, if given the chance i'll give you the link, it may at least make you laugh!

 

[mamachick]

I have the same luck and it does feel like the world is against me at times.
@Stickler and @ladee -both of your posts made me laugh a little. I could relate- most to ladee as you described me, always up to my elbows in crap it seems, attempting to fix the broken, if I manage to not fall in the house, I will outside, always forgetting something and taking longer. How could I be so stupid? Maybe we just suffer distraction from the shit storm clouds wavering above us!

We must find humor in this. I go to a group where I can share some of this and that really helps me. I am a really honest person but my therapist told me once that I could fake addiction to get into in patient treatment for a month because I really think I would benefit from some 30 days of groups. I tried and they don't have an in patient with my insurance and sent me to out patient, who told me I didn't qualify because I neglected my pills. LOL

It is a dumb ass world we live in.

 

[mamachick]

@Souless-US is not doing well in treating ptsd, though I have heard other countries are worse because not enough therapists to treat all. In US, you can always get therapy, but there is so much bad therapy that it may be worse than none. They treat everyone with SSRI and I can't take either. Some are getting SRNI now too-I can't take that either.

I personally prefer counseling over medications when possible, and do think it would be possible. I also think a combination of individual and group is best for myself, I know many who do not prefer to participate in a group. I benefit in group for several reasons I think. It helps me to connect with others who are struggling with same issues. It kind of mirrors my own thoughts and attempts and see myself in others-providing more clarity. There are things that can be done in group and things that only should be done with individual therapy, and they both have benefits.

If the government gave homeopathic practices the benefits that they have given big pharmacy we all would be much better off. Instead, they hand out pills like it is jelly beans and then make half butt attempt to clean up messes caused. They (government/insurance) do not pay for relaxation/meditation classes or groups, massage, nutrition, etc. Most people loose their ability to make healthy decisions when under great stress.