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Sexual Assault Pedophilia and incest marked my daughter's life and mine

  • Thread starter Alis volat propriis
  • Start date
A

Alis volat propriis

My father was an alcoholic who never said anything affectionate to me. I found in December 2021 (by my daughter's confession to me) that my Father had inappropriately touched my daughter from age 8 to 9 years old when drunk and on benzodiazepines. This started a sequence of abuse when my daughter started projecting sexuality and she said she started flirting with his two cousins. My cousin, (5 years older than her) the eldest especially started abusing her sexually touching her in her private parts and forcing her to do things to him. She told me he used to say "You like it" which made her feel guilty. She was 8-12 years old. She was diagnosed with PTSD at the age of 16. I finally brought my daughter to America legally in 2018 after a long legal process of reunification. Any immigrant far from their family can relate to this painful process.

In 2014 I left my home (Cuba) to move to the USA. I had to cross 8 borders to get to the USA from Ecuador to the USA. I flew to Ecuador with the excuse to visit Ecuador but my main reason was to try to get to America. I left looking for a better future for my daughter. I would not imagine my own family members would hurt my daughter. my journey to America was a dangerous one and I was unable to bring my daughter with me so I left my daughter with my mom, whom I trust. I should have seen that my mother was an enabler, and also a victim of a messed-up society in a communist Cuba where there is no transparency.

I was also trying to run away from my past. I was groomed by a man 37 years old when I was 12 years old. This man took my virginity and our relationship became public. Nobody complained about it, it was normal in Cuba for an adult man to date someone that age. No law was protecting any underage child, and I believe that is still the case. This man beat me up every time he had a little alcohol and broke one of my bones. My family never did anything about it. They all remained silent like nothing was happening.

My mother allowed this on the basis that she did not want me to leave her. My father just did not care at all. he was an alcoholic and continuously hit and mistreated my mom in front of me. I am not sure how I didn't become a drug addict, or mentally ill. I can only say my faith kept me alive. I was raped at the age of 12 years old by a convicted pedophile. I was gang raped in Cuba once by two men at 16 years old. I continued to put myself in situations of self-destruction looking for the love of a father until I had my daughter and then she became everything for me. That is how I took the courage to put my life in danger and cross the border with the help of human trafficking individuals called "coyotes". I almost got raped in Colombia, but this time was able to see what was coming and ran away on time. I could have not run if I had my daughter with me. I thought I was doing the right thing by going to America and then getting my daughter out of Cuba. She suffered the worst abuse by people who were supposed to protect her. I was supposed to protect her and I failed to see that I should have not trusted my most precious gift to a family that didn't even protect me.
 
I am sorry you have been through all that horrible stuff! Neither you nor your daughter deserved any of it. You are a very brave person to go through all that for your daughter and yourself. I have a friend whose family came from Cuba and he told me that the women were treated appallingly there, like property or animals, and it affected them greatly. I am glad you got away and can tell your story and also that you got your daughter out. Do you and your daughter have access to therapists?
 
Is your daughter still in Cuba right now? I just want to make sure I understand that part correctly.

I'm so sorry this has happened, and glad you found this web site ❤️
 
I am sorry you have been through all that horrible stuff! Neither you nor your daughter deserved any of it. You are a very brave person to go through all that for your daughter and yourself. I have a friend whose family came from Cuba and he told me that the women were treated appallingly there, like property or animals, and it affected them greatly. I am glad you got away and can tell your story and also that you got your daughter out. Do you and your daughter have access to therapists?
Yes, my daughter is going to therapy every two weeks. I am starting to attend group therapy and reading books about PTSD and CPTSD learning now what really happened to us. I am still learning and i think a long healing process just started

Is your daughter still in Cuba right now? I just want to make sure I understand that part correctly.

I'm so sorry this has happened, and glad you found this web site ❤️
Yes, she has lived in the United States with me since 2018. She is doing well in school, and attending therapy biweekly. She drives on her own now and has her own car and she is 17 years old now. A very strong and fantastic lady God blessed me to have as a daughter.
 
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