Wake Up Call

[Snowflake]

This is why I just don't conceive of myself having an inner child. I am one person, one self, those...

I tend to agree with you. I didn't really "get" the inner child or parts theory until I started an online group. Now after a few weeks I feel really confused and schizophrenic. I have mixed thoughts.

 

[sun seeker]

Because no one can meet inner child needs but me! This hurt-it's not fair!

It's also not true. Some therapists work on that premise, some do not. I'm lucky to have one that doesn't, so I know how much of a difference it can make. Sometimes, when there is serious developmental trauma for instance, you need a safe person like a therapist to do the caring for your child parts for a while. Eventually you internalize it and are able to care for them yourself, but it doesn't happen overnight. From what you have said before about your therapist's boundaries, she may believe you have to do it all yourself... but then again, she may not. Could you talk to her about it?

 

[Snowflake]

It's also not true. Some therapists work on that premise, some do not. I'm lucky to have one that...

Actually the person that said this was an online life coach who works with trauma victims.

However, my therapist believes in parts/inner child as well. It's just an area we never looked at intensely like this life coach is.

 

[Lotis]

Actually the person that said this was an online life coach who works with trauma victims.

Be careful with this online "Life Coach"

 

[Snowflake]

Be careful with this online "Life Coach"

Really? Why? (Besides the money)

 

[watundah]

It took me a couple of years of encouragement by my T to finally go down the inner child path. It has been incredibly revealing, difficult, deep, digging into the dirt. As it was explained to me, we tap into the frozen, traumatized parts of the mind that need to heal. I have been writing with three parts for six months. I can't begin to explain all that I've learned including uncovering many hard, repressed memories. I have a new understanding of what I endured and the uncovered feelings. And my therapist is walking the path with me. Her insight is paramount.

Does your therapist know about the coach? I would suggest working face to face with your T as it's very intense at times.

 

[Lotis]

What are their credentials? Can you verify their credentials? Was this person referred to you by your therapist? If so then I guess it would be ok. I am very weary of online help. There are many people who would take advantage of others especially when they are suffering and would do anything to feel better. Just be careful.

And to add they already gave you very poor advice.

 

[Ronin]

But in my opinion, far more people actually worsen their PTSD by introducing this actualization of the inner child.

This. Why I find 'inner child' work to be helpful at times dealing with some traumatic states, but not if it's to be conceived as a therapeutic path on its own.

It tends to assume when one heals 'little them' emotions, all the trauma will be magically undone. It doesn't work that way. The trauma is there, physiologically, there. And it can cause a whole lot of havoc in integrity of self, regardless of how compartmentalized that self IS to begin with (where on dissociative spectrums.)

 

[Crow]

What @Cashew said.

 

[Ronin]

It's just an area we never looked at intensely like this life coach is.

Can you change both the therapist and avoid the life coach like a plague? Honestly.

People who are accredited & responsible care providers for any form of therapeutic work wouldn't use titles as 'life coach' for themselves.
You don't need charlatans in your way. They better have some solid background, provable background (and even then are better ditched if you're not compatible / if they prove abusive) or get out.

Said in caring & well meaning intent. (Angry for you, not at you :D Promise.)

 

[Deleted member 33052]

Snowflake, when all else fails, go with your gut. Always.

 

[Crow]

I'm a certified life coach (not practicing till I get my shit together) but the first tenant of any decent training program is coaching is not therapy. We learn to navigate the very blurry line between life assistance and therapeutic counseling. Sounds like your coach doesn’t know the difference. She's suppose to be helping you find your own answers. That's not what is happening.