Dom Violence Comments

[Zanshin]

I'm glad you're in therapy and coming here for support as well. Verbal and emotional abuse is really rough.

 

[Mytime]

Snowflake you do have the strength. I see it, your here for support, your going to therapy. Keep going, next step woman's shelter. Your a strong, beautiful woman and he knows it. That why he's trying to keep you down. Because your better and stronger then him. You can free yourself. I believe you have the strength and I'm sure many would agree.:)

 

[Deleted member 34060]

So, what would happen if you would leave him ? What would it mean to you ?

 

[Teasel]

(I am working on things in therapy to get strength to leave.)

Good for you :)
Am in process of working out how I can leave mine too. Hope you get the help you need

 

[Snowflake]

So, what would happen if you would leave him ? What would it mean to you ?

Fear, being alone, no one to control me. This is all I've known.

 

[I_Am_Titanium]

I have been in several emotionally abusive relationships for almost thirty years. I always managed to find a way out when I needed to. The last one lasted for twenty years but I finally got out. Getting out was scary as hell, a long process, and it was not easy but I did it. I did what I needed to do for myself one step at a time. Baby steps are still steps.

For me, the first step was for me realize I needed to get out and that I didn't deserve to be treated the way he treated me. Therapy helped me a lot with this. It helped me to wake up and see my worth. That I've had worth all this time and I didn't realize it. YOU have worth. YOU deserve better. YOU need to do what YOU need to do for yourself. I felt controlled all of my life by others and while it sucked it was all I knew. It was all I knew how to be. Until now. Until I reached my limit and had enough. I had to make that decision for myself. No one else could do that for me. It's scary but there is always hope. I hope you find what you need.

 

[Deleted member 34060]

Fear, being alone, no one to control me. This is all I've known.

You mean to say that all your life there was somebody to control you ? May I ask you how old you -roughly- are ?

 

[Snowflake]

You mean to say that all your life there was somebody to control you ? May I ask you how old you -roughl...

49

 

[KathyF]

Snowflake, you are worthy. You have so much support & love here...my heart aches for you, the history that keeps you believing even partly in the total disrespect coming from your husband. YOU get to choose that this isn't how your story ends!
I can't wait to read that you've packed up & walked out the door, head held high, the weight you've been carrying completely lifted from your shoulders! Freedom!! You deserve every joy every day beginning NOW!

 

[Deleted member 34060]

49

And in all those years you've never been alone and there was always somebody to control you ?

 

[joeylittle]

And in all those years you've never been alone and there was always somebody to control you ?

This is not an impossible thing, @FrankM. I appreciate that you are only trying to help, but your tone here seems rhetorical, designed to lead the OP to answer, 'no'. It's always OK here to just state your opinion, instead of getting too locked into the rhythm of a one-on-one dialogue. Something to think about.

@Snowflake - leaving is never, ever easy. But I hope you keep working towards that. And as much as you can, try and challenge these things he's saying - not even out-loud, just in your mind. Because they aren't true, they are his ugliness.

 

[Deleted member 34060]

This is not an impossible thing, I appreciate that you are only trying to help, but your tone here seems rhetorical

I'm sorry if I sound like this, but I am really just trying to understand. In particular the statement

"Fear, being alone, no one to control me. This is all I've known."

on the question what would happen if she would leave him is what I don't understand. Might be a language Thing as English isn't my mother tongue. But thanks a lot for telling me !