Gone

[sun seeker]

Colouring mandalas is good too. It's absorbing and calming, or at least, I find it is.

 

[Snowflake]

Colouring mandalas is good too. It's absorbing and calming, or at least, I find it is.

I have them but I am such a perfectionist with coloring and worried about getting into trouble if I make a mistake.

 

[joeylittle]

I love computer games- but it bothers my husband

Maybe you can schedule time for yourself to play anyway. If it's the noise, wear headphones. Or just make a reasonable compromise of amount of time...no reason not to do something you enjoy.

I have a game on my phone called Kami that I like - it's a progressive puzzle game.

You can also subscribe to the NYT crossword puzzles. I like them because I can pretty much always do Monday, and they get harder from there - but with a subscription I can just do a whole bunch of Monday's from back issues if I want :)

Experiment - just try some things out. Good distractions (meaning, ones that really help you re-direct your attention onto something) are worth their weight in gold. And sometimes you never know til you try a bunch.

 

[Hope1969]

It's very difficult. My T took 10 day vacation and I felt like an abundant child. Tried to be a grownup about it but at the end disconnected myself from feelings. Only felt anger. And when she came back she told me that she has to be away again and our next meeting is canceled. I said no problem in A very mature voice but the child in me was pissed of. So furious that I wanted to stop therapy or at least cancel the next meeting (I didn't).

2 weeks or 3 months is a lot of time.

Can you try writing to her? Like a journal. But imagine that you are in her Clinique telling her all that you want to tell.
maybe try to do some new exciting things that will fill yor body with endorphins and yor memory with good happy memories.

 

[Snowflake]

It's very difficult. My T took 10 day vacation and I felt like an abundant child. Tried to be a grownu...

Yep-I started writing her. (2 days down-10 days to go)

 

[Hope1969]

Yep-I started writing her. (2 days down-10 days to go)

I wonder why we are so attached to our T.
I went to her a year before the abuse came up. She could take as much holidays as she wanted I couldn't care less. But when the abuse came up and I started to tell her really personal staff I became attached like a child. Strange...

 

[anthony]

I became attached like a child

Its basically an unhealthy coping strategy, which honestly, a therapist should not allow to happen. They're trained for this, to provide healthy attachment only... otherwise they should forward you to another therapist.

Trauma causes all sorts of issues for us... and often our friendship circles have a lot to do with how we get support, and who from.

 

[Hope1969]

Its basically an unhealthy coping strategy, which honestly, a therapist should not allow to happen. They're...

My T say that healthy attachment is good. That there are no relationship without attachment. All my life I don't trust people not even my own family. I used to cut long term friendships in a minute without looking back. never missed them.

With my T I really miss her when she is on vacation and I am waiting for the meetings. At the same time "I hate" her for that. For me to need someone is the same as being abused.

Is my attachment healthy? I don't know what is healthy attachment. But I know that I can't live isolated from humanity anymore.

 

[sun seeker]

Sometimes, when distraction and something to make the time pass are what you need, a good TV series (look for DVDs at your library) is a great way to make it through the day. You can live other people's lives vicariously and forget about your own for a while. A good long-term strategy? Probably not. But for now, why not?

 

[anthony]

My T say that healthy attachment is good. That there are no relationship without attachment.

I would agree with your therapist. There is a line though, its called dependence. That is when healthy become unhealthy.

That does not include healthy dependence, such as someone requiring another's help to achieve something because they physically cannot perform that act themselves. Or a child depends upon a parent, so forth. Adulthood however, where a person depends upon another for mental security, validation, safety, so forth, things that a healthy adult is expected to be independent upon for the most part, is what I am referring to.