Exhausted About Now

[Pakadlangitok]

I was born with a disability, so when I got PTSD, it was hard enough. The Disability is not an easy one, so the PTSD made things worse. THEN I got medical troubles and an accident and I have about had it.

So here I am . I have no plans but why do I think about suicide so much? See how much I have fought and endured? I don't want to end my life, that is for sure because people would be sad and you know, you never know when a good day will pop up! And, like I said, I have no plan and would go to the ER if it got that way, but it disturbs me to think about it so much! Like I have no control over my thoughts? Yes, I have more control than this, so how do you guys make your thoughts obey you?

Things ARE bad indeed. I cannot get the medical care because of the PTSD and the Disability makes medications almost impossible, so it is pain and worry all the day, BUT once in a while a good day comes along and I am happy to be here. But it is like a darkness has ripped out every vital part and torn it out of my body, torn out my guts.

Why is it so hard just to go day by day?! Please post concrete tips to get through?

So I am hanging in there and hope you all are, too. All suffering at the moment...............

 

[Ronin]

so how do you guys make your thoughts obey you?

I don't.

I just make sure I don't obey them.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Please post concrete tips to get through?

There are no concrete tips. You hang on, get through each day and make sure all movements are foward.

so how do you guys make your thoughts obey you?

I dont. Trying to drove me nuts. I just try to direct them and get better and better each day.

 

[EveHarrington]

:hug:

 

[Sandstone]

Please post concrete tips to get through?

I think there are specifics that do help, but you may have to try many different ones to find what works for you. Distraction is good for me, and making things works best. If I can't bring myself actually to do it, the watching YouTube about how to make them is good too.
Some people find mediation or mindfulness good. For me, they are not helpful, but breathing to a slow pattern or watching a metronome set very slow are both calming.
Wrapping myself in a heavy blanket, and cuddling my panda are good when I can't manage anything more. I am caring for myself in a concrete way.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

Your thoughts are just that, nothing more. They are learned through much practiced negativity, with support of others and have turned into a destructive habit.
They are not separate from you. They do not control you. Part of the habit is reacting to them without understanding whatever is in you, thoughts or feelings, you have the ability to learn with a great deal of patience, awareness and work to change.
There are many great, well researched articles on this site. I suggest you start there, do a search and find things that resonate within you. You deserve so much more that you are allowing yourself. I wish you peace.

 

[Pakadlangitok]

I don't.

I just make sure I don't obey them.

Now that is damn good advice!!!!

 

[Pakadlangitok]

I think there are specifics that do help, but you may have to try many different ones to find what wo...

I think I might like to get a cuddly panda. :-)

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I might like to get a cuddly panda.

I have a cuddly teddy bear. He helps to make me feel safe so they can help in self soothing.

If you are looking for distraction techniques for your thoughts, heres a good site: http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/distract.htm but many good sites can be found when googling DBT distraction techniques. If you just want the book (very good) here is the one my therapist had me get: Dead Link Removed

DBT is wonderful in helping to redirect your thoughts. Its a therapy inside of CBT. CBT alone can help but I had to start with DBT as CBT wasnt working so I think its sort of more direct and focused in then CBT. I dont know.

Anyway, I did try to stop controling them and just worked the therapies and direct them the best I could, counter them when I could and over time it just happened.

Patience with yourself is a must! :hug:

ETA: I have no idea how I forgot the negitive thought records. This REALLY helps. Its part of CBT: http://www.cognitivetherapyguide.org/thought-records.htm but its what didnt help by itself. Thats why I added the DBT stuff.

 

[Deleted member 28740]

some here are finding time out from the head banging with playing - oh, @lostforgottensoul @Recovery4Me , the games …. thinking myself about trying.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

the games

What games? Im confused.

 

[Deleted member 28740]

Panda and bad bird…. so bad at this, don't know the names, to play on smart phone….