Is It Just f*cking Me?

[lostforgottensoul]

I mean, seriously, just say look get a grip and i will, or at least try, but good god! Like how f*cking much can one person take? There is a point where a person just looses it on everyone, right? Like blows their entire lid and like goes insane, right? I cannot take much more. Honestly, if this doesnt stop piling Im going to take my car and drive it on the wrong side of 1-4 or something.

My mother whom is one of my main abusers is dying, my family comes back up my ass after they were expelled from my life for the same f*cking mind games, then my dad 'drinks their koolaid', buying into their bullshit, tells me that my mom is not responsible for what she did because shes this "deathbed born again christian", that my family is right, im wrong for not going to see her, my therapist was unprofessional.....blah blah blah, and i just lost the only person left, all because my sister was here, uninvited and unannounced, and because she was here, they both (dad & step mom whom live with me) go...just for the day only they both promised, to my neice's kid's birthday, i come home from work with just my dad here and he said she is staying so now im alone, as is my dog, for 2 f*cking weeks....AND now im coming home every single f*cking night that I work with dog shit and piss ALL OVER MY HOUSE and so I have to mop and scrub the carpet, every single night and I have chronic pain, horrible chronic pain.

I texted my step mom to please come home and i said "as im coming home every night to dog shit and piss all over my f*cking house" and the first thing she says is "what's up with the cussing". f*cking really? So thats how you want to start this? She ended with "so take it up with your dad. I dont want this brought back up to me"... If I was TOLD, I could have hired someone to watch him in the day. I dont know anyone but they do, my dad doesnt meet a stranger. The dog shit is just an irritant, the fact that no one cared enough to even mention it is what is bothering me. Im alone, completely for 2 weeks, one day of which was a holiday and you dont mention it or bother to at least call and advise me?

Im f*cking over life! The first was enough, this is another animal. Now im sitting here, 30 mins after i mopped and scrubbed and sprayed and still smell shit. I cant even stand up to look for any more spots he could have possibly fit to go that i missed.

Im f*cking over this. This needs to stop piling on me, like now, or im going to blow it, i swear i am.

 

[trying2movefwd]

*listening* I am sorry your dealing with all of this. Can you take the dog to a kennel or anything?

 

[scout86]

There is a point where a person just looses it on everyone, right? Like blows their entire lid and like goes insane, right?

Maybe, but it's usually not helpful to go very far down that road. I wish you had a better family, all the way around. But you're going to have to deal with what you've got. :(

On the other hand, he's your dog, right? So he's more your problem than theirs, even if the help would be nice, So, from a practical stand point, how long does he have to be home alone while you're at work? As a rule of thumb, most dogs can handle an hour for every month of age, up to a year. A healthy adult dog can usually handle 12 hours without having to make a mess in the house. It helps if they're on a regular schedule. I'm guessing he's not crate trained? How about locking him in the bathroom while you're gone? Most bathroom floors are fairly easy to clean up and you limit the amount of mess he can make. At least you keep it contained to one kind of manageable room. And, most dogs don't like to shit where they have to stay. He may learn to hold it.

In my version of reality, there are good things and bad things about being a grown up. One is that you have to solve your own problems. On the other hand, you get to solve your own problems. :wideeyed: :hug:

 

[lostforgottensoul]

On the other hand, he's your dog, right?

He is and its not really that, its it on top of everything else.

is that you have to solve your own problems.

Well i know that but if i would if known, at least the day they went, called, texted, anything and I could of hired one of those sittingers that airs on tv. Id spend any amount of money and not have to deal with this. Plus he's on the out 3 times a day schedule and he can and does hold it but he is having an issue with the runs and its like a weekly thing with him so i would have hired someone knowing that.

He's crate trained, but with the runs i dont want to do that do him. And being an 80 lb dog, and a tiny bathroom, its about the same.

Like i said, its not that. Just this and i wouldnt have much of an issue other than being irritated, its this on top of all of that. My dad left me with what he said then left me alone, its just the last irritant thats about to blow me over the edge.

Yes hes my dog, no they arent responsible, yes im a grown up 35 yr old...i just wish i were told and its not even my issue, its just whats on top.

 

[Deleted member 28740]

My dog is good for 12 with life being normal. If being used to having some one 24-7 there will be adjustments possibly for separation anxiety. besides the good advice from @scout86, Costco has a very good product for messes. They are large size absorbent liquid proof pads. You can place then under a dog bed if confined while crate training in the bathroom, or just confined to the bathroom. Mine had a urinary issue from an injury and used them inside her dog bed and below. Clean up was just a wash up of the outer cover. Most dogs hate being messy in their home. Never shame your dog about accidents.

For separation anxiety, play music (recommend Through a Dogs Ear) they have free downloads. Works for my dog if I am away.

 

[Deleted member 28740]

he is having an issue with the runs and its like a weekly thing with

Take to vet to determine why. Other question would be a change in his food, also water supply and drinking bowl kept clean.

 

[Tinyflame]

@lostforgottensoul , I'm so sorry. With your mom palliative, & all the past, it's normal it would feel like too much. :(

In fact, virtually when anyone is dying, plus add in family dynamics, & it's a (potential) nightmare.

I hope you can find a concrete solution for yourself & dog, especially when you love him. Tune the others out, including their comments or 'advice'. And you don't have to visit, that's your decision. And even at best, no one's in a position to reconcile issues at the end, usually.

Take a deep breath, & if it's necessary to do now, it is. But don't add to your grief fighting them. You need the sttrength & energy for other things. :hug:

The horrible thing with crises, just like ptsd, is all the rest of the demands & more don't abate, they increase. And when you don't have extra hands or resources, you do the best you can. He could be reacting to the stress as well, & probably having to hold it too long.

 

[Nevermore]

@lostforgottensoul , in my experience invalidation is a huge trigger for me and can make me feel utterly helpless, hopeless and incapable - overwhelmed in a big way.
Reading this I could almost feel that overwhelm seeping out through the computer!
You are validated here!!! I wish your family gave that to you.
After too many years helplessly flailing around in the invalidation of others, I somehow managed to give myself validation. Returning to study helped, even though I was embarrassed to be such an old student, but in the process I shook off those chains that others put on me.
I hope you can find that space within yourself.
You can find a solution for thd dog. The more you find your own solutions and stop looking to those who have not historically helped you find solutions, the less you will need their validation and the more you will know about your own strengths.
I know it's hard but nothing is more worth it.
I can't put this into words properly!! I hope you know what I mean.
You love the dog. You can look after the dog better than anyone.

 

[Nevermore]

I forgot to say sorry about your mum. /-:

 

[Deleted member 28740]

I forgot to say that if you are very bonded with your dog as I am with mine they are extremely sensitive to our emotions, stress etc. I give mine a homeopathic called Calms Forte and Rescue Remedy (use them for myself also). You can and will get through this. A shit storm. Been there. We survive them.

 

[Tinyflame]

Diaper him, if necessary. Try to get hold of 'disposable soakers' or cut extra-large sized adult briefs & secure with duct tape. (Cut a hole for his tail.) Beet root helps stop it but also sometimes skipping one dinner (if his feeding has been off or too many treats/ additives.) I think if he could get out more it likely will stop- routine & lots of opportunity. When your family starts up leave with him & go for walk.

(PS, if necessry let the spot dry & use diluted lysol, lemon scent. It doesn't strip rugs or discolor, even wool. a swifter will work, let dry & repeat until gone. :hug: )

:hug:

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Never shame your dog about accidents.

Oh i dont, I just yell it out on here. He's well house trained and went 9 hrs without going on the floor but its the longest he's been alone since i owned him. Im taking him out at 11am right when i leave for work and get hone about 9:15pm. I used to work right across the street where i could walk over on lunch but i dont any more and made this deal that everyone forgot about that if they were going to be gone, due to his weekly runs, they would tell me. So much for that.

Im about to paper my entire house.

For separation anxiety, play music (recommend Through a Dogs Ear) they have free downloads. Works for my dog if I am away.

He has that too, very bad. Never thought of music. Does the dog specific ones really work?

Other question would be a change in his food, also water supply and drinking bowl kept clean.

Yes, no and he is over due for a vet, i have to cancel one of mine to take him, just got to figure out which one. He came to me being told to me he has a sensitive stomach so i knew that already.

I can't put this into words properly!!

You did fine. Actually you hit on exactly what this is...being uttly overwhelmed to the enth degee. Like my mom is dying, ok life, that was enough, your family is up your ass, ok too much but they can settle, my sister hold resentment and my dad agreed with her, ok too much now stop it...my dog isnt what this is about. Yes it sucks and hurts and now i have to figure out how im going to do this and still work and still walk but my dog is no where near what this is about.

And thank you!

I give mine a homeopathic called Calms Forte and Rescue Remedy (use them for myself also).

I almost shoved a xanax now his throat last night. Didnt but was close.

Diaper him, if necessry.

Ahaha! Cut a section out for his tail. But then id have to bathe his ass every night and what would be worse then this every night is to fight a water terrified 80lb pure muscle pitbull every night in the bathtub. Though its just his ass end. Nah, that would be mean.