Christianity/christians

[JFSurvivor]

In my experience a lot of Christians do not understand PTSD and they are not willing to especially outside the confines of the Bible. It's like once they learn you have been wronged they push you to forgive before you are ready. They push you to do this, they push you to do that and most of the time I'm not ready and I need to go at my own pace. And then they think God can make it all better. I am a firm believer but I don't believe God will heal me instantly. I believe he will heal me over time with me putting in effort because I believe the mind is fragile and he created it to need time. Most christians cannot understand that and expect a quick fix. It infuriates me! And then they emphasize and focus on everything they cannot do for me because apparently I am too needy and I should just turn to Jesus. what do I do? I love Jesus but I really dislike the church.

 

[scout86]

How many devote believers of other religions do you know? Could be this isn't a Christian thing as much as it is a belief thing. People seem to base their understanding of the world on their own beliefs and experiences. There are branches of Christianity that have a kind of magical way of seeing things. A religion with a different approach to "getting what you want" would probably suggest the same sort of approach, within their own belief system. I think the main problem is that it's hard to understand something that's outside your own experience.

 

[Silver.]

I agree with @scout86 and believe it's very much a product of the Christians that you are around and not as a generalized whole. (hoping not to offend someone here, but a lot of Churches misconstrue the Bible to suit their purposes. As such, a lot of people do that without the church too) I do not personally know of Christians, or any believers of any faith, that frown upon finding healing (although there are religions that frown upon it).
Your faith is YOURS alone, and you may share it with others, in a church, but sometimes we find the church isn't meeting our faith and beliefs. It's not unheard of to switch churches to one that meets our needs, or to still practice faith outside of church.
I think it's wise to do what is best for you, it already sounds that you know that turning away from help isn't a good idea, go with your gut and get the help you need.

 

[The Albatross]

There's been much here lately about forgiveness. The thing about it is... it is a remedy offered to heal "heart sickness" or to avoid having a "heart of stone". So far as the Christianity angle and whether or not it's a magic wand... well, it's not. It's a process and it starts with a desire to follow the example of Jesus (which I'm not entirely good at by the way) and to have a contrite, and repentant heart... humility and humbleness - acknowledging our own wrongs/sins. A very old moral code which in my own opinion "can" with effort put life back into the perspective of something that I'm doing (personal responsibility with a directed present focus) rather than weighing me down with what all and who did whatever to me (victimization/shame/blame/grief past focus). A choice of focus to live the rest of your life with. In the end, even in other religious beliefs and even in therapy that's what it comes down to right? Choosing your perspective and deciding and re-deciding sometimes over and over again what is gonna rule your life fear versus self efficacy, or self directed living, or faith?

I agree that the church isn't up to speed on PTSD and that at times it's really aggravating to have spiritual beliefs be blanket-ly (not a word exactly but can't think of a word better at the moment) applied to our issue. Then I remember that 2000 plus years ago, these things were not preached nor documented and that although it is frustrating... the goal or rather what was emphasized is personal refinement of godly character and to "be like Jesus" and also to teach us how to choose and re-choose who or what will rule the course of our days and our life. I also recognize that the members of my church who've ministered to me/assisted me... are or have done what they can and are good willed/well intentioned people who take steps to care and try even if it's in the language and style they have.

God does not heal some people, some people are called to walk it (life) - like me and I'm okay now with that... others are healed (I've only met a couple who claim that and it was physical stuff).

Anyways that's just my take on it and now I'll butt out.

I'm just a lay woman and not that far along... maybe some of the people who have a better understanding of this stuff will be willing to explain it a bit better or correct me if I'm off the mark.

 

[The Albatross]

Doubled back to add: "“The Christian shoemaker does his duty not by putting little crosses on the shoes, but by making good shoes, because God is interested in good craftsmanship.” ~ Martin Luther

 

[intothelight]

I think a lot of churches and "Christians" view mental illness as a character flaw and not as illness.

 

[The Albatross]

(Or... when you only have a hammer, everything looks like a nail?)

 

[Tinyflame]

Double-speak hurts me the most.

 

[Tinyflame]

Or perhaps rather: words not matching actions; words not matching reality, even within the church; words applying only to some.

 

[Lucycat]

I think a lot of churches and "Christians" view mental illness as a character flaw

I think a lot of people do...

 

[Deleted member 12723]

This push to forgive instantly was forced on me and many other people as well, and I was not ready at all. It was a deciding factor in me leaving church and practicing my private faith at home.

I am sorry that this happened to you. I do not like it when anyone religious or otherwise tries to force their beliefs upon me.

I think there are a lot of people who just do not understand nor do they want to.

I have learned painfully and costly lessons that unless a person really sees and hears me and understands me they usually will go out of their way to help me. I hope that this helps some.

 

[BradyLady]

As a Christian *with* PTSD, I can testify to the fact that there is a lot of misunderstanding. We are accused of playing the victim, being unforgiving, holding on to the past, staying stuck in your pity party.... And it's the same way with depression. People think a pep talk is all we need.

I'm just glad those people aren't the ones I'm going to face on judgement day.