Sufferer Hey Everyone. New Kid On The Block.

[Padfield]

Hey everyone. I am not quite sure what to say here, other than that I'm new to the forum. My name is Evan. I have just finished going through CBT and EDMR. I feel like my diagnosis is very very mild compared to most. My therapist had mentioned that I've made excellent progress but that a support group would help me immensely in healing. Connecting with people that I can relate to. Considering I haven't told anyone about this really. I feel like if I told any of this to anyone I know they would judge or not understand. Or think I'm "crazy". The stigma is unreal. I have C-PTSD due to a car crash a few years back. I was set-up by a "friend" in high school and was assaulted by the high school varsity wrestling team in a locked bathroom. I was also robbed at gunpoint about ten years ago. And most recently I was hit by a car around last Christmas (although I got through it relatively okay). My symptoms were mainly nightmares (almost every night for a decade, violent ones often, where I get shot, or die) , avoidance (places where I felt like I would be in danger somehow, and avoiding driving or letting people drive me) paranoia (in a sense of people were trying to set me up, or not being honest to me), panic attacks, overthinking to the extreme. And I've suffered from severe anxiety and depression my entire life (which my therapist believes is tied into undiagnosed PTSD.) from what I've come to learn from therapy, and briefly browsing the forums, I'd like to believe my PTSD is relatively mild on the scale of how difficult it can be. I am pretty much "normal" these days after therapy and getting on medications. I'd like to think I've put it behind me for the most part. Other than some slight anxiety due to social situations, schoolwork, and things like job interviews. I haven't had much time to browse the forum yet, but I am glad to have been referred here. It seems like everyone on here is extremely kind and supportive. I look forward to speaking with you all and learning what all you have been through and what you do to make it through the day. I hope to learn a lot.

 

[Snowflake]

Hey everyone. I am not quite sure what to say here, other than that I'm new to the forum. My name i...

Welcome! This is an amazing place!

 

[BlueOrange]

I feel like my diagnosis is very very mild compared to most.

Kind of like you got a bronze medal in the Oppression Olympics? I can understand that feeling, and I feel that way sometimes myself. (There are people here with really horrifying stories.)

The thing to note about the Oppression Olympics is that everyone who competes, loses. We're here to lift each other up.

So I'm really unhappy that you had a reason to seek this place out. And I'm glad you're here :)

 

[Deleted member 34535]

Hi Padfield, I am new here also. This is a nice place that you can feel safe to share your innermost thoughts and feelings and nobody here will judge you. We are all on this PTSD boat together. It gets a little rocky at times and we experience some pretty good waves, but we hold onto one another and make it through the rough seas together. Do not think that what you are going through and feeling is any less important than anyone else. Here we are all peers, nobody any more or less important than the other. You are going to be fine!!!

 

[EveHarrington]

Welcome! :)

 

[ladee]

Welcome !! Some pretty amazing people welcoming you too !!! You will get support, even when you feel you are making no sense. Because we do understand. We've been there, are there, or will be there at some point. So feel free to look around, much to see and read here. A save place for so many of us... Glad you found us !!!

 

[sedna]

Hey everyone. I am not quite sure what to say here, other than that I'm new to the forum. My name i...

Hi Padfield!

This is a good place to find supportive people and lots of resources. Many of us have multiple traumas that span a lot of years, that aren't all from one type of abuse or trauma. It's sort of the collective accumulation of traumatic events that gave some of us C-PTSD. There are a lot of good people and resources here, I'm glad you found it! :)

 

[Padfield]

Thank you for the kind words everyone! I feel very welcomed by all of you. I am so glad I have this forum as a resource for help and for learning. For the longest time I felt alone honestly. Having the strongest urge to talk to someone about my issues. But then realizing the fear that comes with opening up to those who might not understand or those who might judge. I don't want to unload my issues on someone who doesn't understand and have them run from my life. I even find it hard to open up to my therapist sometimes ironically lol.

 

[hodge]

Welcome, Padfield. The great thing about this place is that you can be yourself here. We don't have to pretend to be normal as we do most of the time with friends and family in real life, which reduces a lot of stress (there's a good reason the word "stress" is in our diagnosis). I so know what you mean as I hold back a lot from my friends and family and even my husband, even though those closest to me know about my PTSD, because I don't want to dump on them too much. This is a place where we can honestly be ourselves. I would also recommend starting a diary. There you can let it all hang out and people will occasionally comment or like and otherwise support you. And if you've got something more immediate or worrisome going on, start a thread and just talk about what you're going through. Lots of people will respond. :-). I hope you eventually feel closer to your therapist.

 

[Padfield]

Thank you! I do trust her. She did refer me here after all! Lol. She said she has two clients that frequent the forums and that it's worked well for them. I just think I'm so guarded. My thought process is this: although she is a professional, has seen countless people, some of them with more severe symptoms than my own, she might still judge me etc.

 

[hodge]

I'm sorry you worry about that. A good therapist will not judge you. I know I can say, "don't worry," but you have to come to it yourself. Maybe talking about it with her would help, especially as you trust her? And for sure it might take time. Give yourself time, but don't put it off forever. That would be like putting off your healing :-).

 

[UniqueSunflower]

Welcome Padfield! Feeling judged is something we can probably all relate to at some time or another. I used to feel my therapist was judging me and I'd hold back with certain things as a result. At some point we openly discussed it and I realized it was more my concern than anything she was doing wrong (a fear that carried into other relationships I was in as well). Glad you've joined the site. This peer support driven community is amazing and in the short time I've been here, I've felt a weight lift from my shoulders. Hope you find it just as helpful :)