Help Me See A Positive To Focus On

[Sandstone]

Invisible. I have no contact with them.

 

[scout86]

I'm beginning to think the UK has gone out of its way to create the worst system possible!

 

[Sandstone]

To be fair, I think the UK created a localised provision, and I made the mistake of living in a historically badly run area. Then government cut funding drastically, while also making other cuts elsewhere that ensured demand would increase. With poor management in place, the decisions made about how to implement the cuts were some of the worst in the country, so I'm now trying to get help from an organisation that is failing.

 

[anonymous]

it seems with limited or no positivesult.

Doesn't it occur to them it takes time? I hate how impatient they are, how they pass the buck, and their incompetence. And, sorry but saying seriously mentally ill to my face? I would have been raging. I'm sorry the system is failing you Sandstone. I'm just sorry. They're so unbelievably hopeless.

 

[anonymous]

woman has been given therapy and won't get better. Must be deliberate. don't waste any more on her"

NHs passing the buck. As usual.

Untreatable?!? No. Such. Thing.

Incompetent services. Aye.

 

[anonymous]

It's obvious it's all about the money. I have given up on them after seven years. I'll find another way. Anything is better than the NHS.

 

[Sandstone]

Yes, but it is all about the money for me too. In my area, good private T's are rare and expensive. We have lost more than half our income because I can't work.

But I think this may be the final straw that says anything is better than trying to deal with them. It would be hard to ask OH to spend so much on me, when he wants to be able to retire.

But I can't go on with this message that I'm still ill by my own fault. If that is true then I deserve neither treatment nor life. But even if it is true, telling me so isn't helpful. Refusing me hope isn't helpful.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@Sandstone, reading only the last page is like coming into the last end of a conversation and not understanding whats being said because you werent there when it was said. As hard as it is, you need to read and/or read/type the remainder of the letter.

To me I agree with @scout86, most escpailly the part that says he doesnt have experience, he knows its not generally offered but you need it. Its like saying "Come on guys! I get this isnt avail and I get im not an expert in this but this is a no brainer" But thats just me and how i interpret it without having the other pages.

But honestly, reading just the last page and trying to figure what it all means is like just hearing just the butt end of a conversation and trying to make interpretation of the entire conversation.

 

[Sandstone]

I can't bring myself to read it. Perhaps tomorrow when the physical symptoms of anxiety have gone down rather more.

Otherwise I've emailed the advocate who suggested I write the "complaint" and she will be in the area on Thursday afternoon. I might get her to read it instead.

Tomorrow is my birthday, so I have to focus on looking OK for my husband and mother, and put this out of my mind till that's done.

 

[Sandstone]

And relax.

I've thought about it during the evening, and its clear he is right. It is all my fault. I'm not willing to get better. I've been haunting this place for years. If I was willing to recover, I'd have done it. He is right, there is no point on the m putting in any more effort, because I'm not worth it.

It feels so much more congruent, and so much less distressing. I know I'm utterly selfish, and I've been screaming and shouting like a spoiled child wanting more and more.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

He is right, there is no point on the m putting in any more effort, because I'm not worth it.

Distorted thinking and self loating. You are worth it and you need to find that fight within yourself. Its hard but you have to have to have it boiling inside, a fight that you are bound ans determined to win never giving up or giving in.

And i dont think thats what he was saying though i only have the "butt end of the convo" to go off of.

 

[Missycat]

@Sandstone , you are worth it and it looks to me that you do want to recover, youve asked for help and you are asking for some more support. You deserve to be well but it isnt going to happen overnight so dont be hard on yourself.
I agree with the viewpoint of the other posts in that he is saying you need help its just that he doesnt have all the answers.
I see my T private as it is covered currently by my insurance through my employer, she is a phycologist with the NHS and waiting lists are sooo long, sadly there have been massive spending cuts on Mental Health over the years havent there?
Please keep fighting, you are worth it, read the remainder of the letter - then you have the whole picture.
Enjoy your birthday and take care.
Sending :hug: s if accepted.