At the beginning of the year, I started tapping into my inner children. There are three who reference themselves consistently as “we”. They shared many repressed memories with me, of which I have zero recall, and my T says more than likely the memories are real. The most prolific part is very much an adult vs child in their presentation and wants to write and write. She states she is 14 but is very articulate and empathic. I wish I could be as empathic as this part is!!
I was a selective mute as a child, and there are studies that suggest the disorder is an aspect of DID. I still have a mute part that will hijack my T sessions where I will totally shut down, lose my words, and respond with yes and no answers, but that’s about it as far as any physical manifestation of these three parts. All of this info combined has led my T to suggest that I may have a spot on the DID spectrum. Funny thing is, I have never seen any of these parts (aside from the mute one) anywhere in my life until I started these writings. I don’t lose time, which I was surprised to learn is not a pre-requisite for DID.
She suggests that they may be appearing in the therapeutic setting because they are seeking healing. That is, in fact, what they are writing in our exercises, that they want to be healed. Now, of course I am weirded out by all of this. If I quit writing, then the other parts go away right? (except for the intrusive mute one). Oh, I know, not so simple. In typical fashion, I am reading up on this and hope to gain a better understanding of how this all works. I understand that therapy consists of integrating the parts which to me seems like I’ve just signed up for a life sentence of therapy sessions. I have seen “The Haunted Self” recommended here as a good, though weighty, read on the subject. I am open to other recommendations and am finding many of the older threads here helpful, as well.
I understand that this disorder can present itself in dozens of different ways and my symptoms may differ from everyone else's. I look forward to input from others who may be dealing with this and are further down the road in healing.
I was a selective mute as a child, and there are studies that suggest the disorder is an aspect of DID. I still have a mute part that will hijack my T sessions where I will totally shut down, lose my words, and respond with yes and no answers, but that’s about it as far as any physical manifestation of these three parts. All of this info combined has led my T to suggest that I may have a spot on the DID spectrum. Funny thing is, I have never seen any of these parts (aside from the mute one) anywhere in my life until I started these writings. I don’t lose time, which I was surprised to learn is not a pre-requisite for DID.
She suggests that they may be appearing in the therapeutic setting because they are seeking healing. That is, in fact, what they are writing in our exercises, that they want to be healed. Now, of course I am weirded out by all of this. If I quit writing, then the other parts go away right? (except for the intrusive mute one). Oh, I know, not so simple. In typical fashion, I am reading up on this and hope to gain a better understanding of how this all works. I understand that therapy consists of integrating the parts which to me seems like I’ve just signed up for a life sentence of therapy sessions. I have seen “The Haunted Self” recommended here as a good, though weighty, read on the subject. I am open to other recommendations and am finding many of the older threads here helpful, as well.
I understand that this disorder can present itself in dozens of different ways and my symptoms may differ from everyone else's. I look forward to input from others who may be dealing with this and are further down the road in healing.
