Autism, Aspergers Syndrome and Common Misconceptions

[Nicolette]

I know a few people on this forum have autism or Aspergers which in itself is a challenge let alone dealing with PTSD on top of it.

During my time here I have noticed that from time to time things are said, with good intentions, which may actually hurt or offend those who suffer from autism or the spectrum disorders.

With good intention, I have started this thread as hopefully an opening for those members here who have these disorders to dispel myths or perhaps just help others understand. Knowledge is power and I think knowing the people we interact with here a little better may benefit all of us. It may also prevent triggering people who suffered trauma as a result of autism.

First hand I know that some people view autistics as being mentally retarded when generally it is the exact opposite and they are highly intelligent.

 

[FlameTachiku]

We are all different and just like neuro typicals some are stupid, intelligent, kind, unkind, and/or developmentally disabled. Autism/Aspie's in my experience are as varied and any other group.

Retarded and special are terms of a not distant generation. The materials and books that are standards are still in print.

Communicating differently seems to be what gets us all in trouble! Clearly it is not just the Aspie's that suffer from this disorder!

 

[midi]

Communication is a very tricky thing, never mind trying it in cyber space! It's the intent and context that matter, but we could all learn what works with different situations. To show that we are willing to learn about what upsets another person is a start!

 

[FlameTachiku]

In my mind Aspie and autism is a way of being not an illness. Does anyone agree or disagree?

Retarted, special, and developmentally disabled the same terms for generation 1, 2, and 3---is that true?

 

[batgirl]

I'm really not on the forum much anymore but I decided to comment on this as I'm not sure others will feel brave enough. I thought you guys should hear from at least one person who is on the spectrum. There are a few of us here, my fiance is one, and a couple of others who have contacted me privately in the past. So I hope I can speak for at least some of us.

I agree being an aspie or autie is a way of being Flame, not an illness; our brains are simply wired differently, and we are born that way. But as midi said, communication over the internet is difficult, things are easily miscontrued. I have no doubt everyone here is trying their best and sometimes that gets "lost in translation" as the written word is difficult to interpret exactly.

As an autistic person myself, I have learned to not take offence by comments, whether they be malicious or well-intentioned or anything in between. And personally, I haven't read anything here that broke the rules or was offensive, at least not in my opinion.

I also agree that there are people with intellectual disabilities in all groups, but in most groups its not automatically assumed that someone is mentally disabled. For instance, people don't generally have a tendency to consider someone with PTSD as intellectually disabled, do they? How would people here feel if someone came here and suggested that we all are? I think lots would feel hurt. Well, that's what those of us in the autistic community have experienced every day of our lives. The average person still equates autism with intellectual disability, and this is what many of us get sensitive about. Not defending the sensitivity by any means, but I thought it should be explained.

I think the bottom line is, many people still do not know enough about autism and Aspergers, so assumptions are made, and not always favourable ones. Rather than feel offended, my tendency is to try to educate. My advice to everyone is, if you are not sure about something, ASK. Or better yet, do your own research on a subject, before making any assumptions.

 

[fin]

I'm really not on the forum much anymore .......

I wanted you to know that you are very much in many peoples thoughts, many of us read and have read your posts Evie. And have nothing but admiration and respect for you. Thankyou batgirl for everything you continue to contribute.

And this is an example of what I wrote above and why;

I think the bottom line is, many people still do not know enough about autism and Aspergers, so assumptions are made, and not always favourable ones. Rather than feel offended, my tendency is to try to educate. My advice to everyone is, if you are not sure about something, ASK. Or better yet, do your own research on a subject, before making any assumptions.

I agree with you Evie, about people and assumptions, so many are made today about anything and everything.

I try to do the same thing as you do...I try to educate and learn myself, if it is something I dont understand.

In respect of PTSD; I have found soo much narrow mindedness, and to a degree, some outright hostility. I think prejudice sometimes comes down to fear, people fear some things they dont understand, and allow that to be their excuse for continuing on with the same assumptions in ignorance (and maybe apathy).

I know in regard to this thread I take everything I read here as I hope it is meant. I believe when someone comments to me that they are not trying to trigger me...so even if that happens I don't take it as a personal slight or attack. I hope I don't anyway.

I read it and take it as understanding the tone, that someone comes with. And I hope that others read that and understand that in my writing here also.

We are all coming with different things, different aspects that make us who we are. Maybe we need to see these differences more as beautiful. I believe here on the forum we can and do do that. It is a shame that doesn't necessarily relate to the big wide world out there. It would be such a better place if we all could do this.

 

[batgirl]

Thanks for the nice comments fin, I feel humbled by them. I really just write what I think and feel, nothing more spectacular than that... but thank you all the same.

In respect of PTSD; I have found soo much narrow mindedness, and to a degree, some outright hostility. I think it sometimes comes down to fear, people fear some things they dont understand, and allow that to be their excuse sometimes for continuing on with the same assumptions in ignorance (and maybe apathy.)

I agree, with PTSD people make many assumptions as well... the one I get the most is that "its all in my head" and I could be completely better if I tried. Its very frustrating. Not that I am a fan of Dr. Phil haha, but I do like his quote, "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?" It seems many people wish to be right, so they will defend an ignorant position to the very end, rather than compromise and be happy. I guess that's just an unfortunate part of the human condition, some people resist change, even if its positive.

 

[nic]

I don't know if you all have seen this, but there's a recent video newsclip circulating out there about this boy, with autism, who gets to play in the final game of his high school's basketball team. (One of my facebook friends posted it.)

Anyway, this kid has been the team manager, aka waterboy, for years. During the last game, the coach had the kid wear the team uniform so he could feel like a part of the group. Since they were a good bit ahead, the coach decided to let the kid play for the last few minutes of the game. The kid ended up shooting 3-pointer after 3-pointer.

So this is supposed to be some heartfelt story and all, but it actually made me kind of angry. Obviously this kid had talent that was totally overlooked because of his autism. I mean, can you imagine how good this kid could have been if he had actually been given a chance to play from day one?

I feel like, whether it be autism or something else, we judge by the label and not by the person. From teaching, I know that there is such a wide spectrum of students with autism, and I need to treat each kid as an individual and never make assumptions about what he/she can/can't do.

 

[batgirl]

Exactly nic! Well said... I haven't read the story but it makes me feel angry and kind of sad too. People on the spectrum are capable of incredible things, what a waste that this boy's talent was not discovered sooner. Often we have great talents in one or more areas. We should be given a chance to prove it, as everyone should. Yes we might process things a little differently, but its not a sin to be different...

 

[Grama-Herc]

There it is, the phrase I have been looking for "It's not a sin to be different"

If that was the case we would all be in trouble.

Evie I admire your positive take on this and that you view these little things as an opportunity to educate instead of getting upset.

I've admired and respected you from my first day one on this forum and still do!

You have a logical approach to life and I like that. No frills, just the truth! There are not many people like you around, so don't you ever change.

I also think that there are some people who are way to SENSITIVE these days/ The strange part is that these "sensitive ones" are not even a part of the issue. That has always confused me. Why get upset when something does not even concern you?

 

[pandora]

Well I hope I did not offend and i apologize if I did. My son has apergers and he is wired a little differently... for me as a mother....I am not sure sometimes if I reprimand him for something if I am being too hard on him and that can be hard. i sometimes feel like my PTSD tends to make me overreact at times too) I know this is a learning process and if I think positive and read other posts of others with aspergers as adults....it really helps me to realize that as an adult....he will learn to control some of his behaviours better. Unfortunately when I am having a bad day it directly results in him having a bad day..so my goal is more good days. (if only it were that simple).
Realizing that this and PTSD can and make things a bit more difficult are helping me to forgive myself and keep reminding myself..I am not perfect...I should not expect perfection and I am trying as hard as I can right now.

 

[batgirl]

Pandora, just so you know, you have never said anything to offend me, and Dean also admires you and has said really nice things to me about you and how you deal with your son. I think your posts reflect how much you really care for him.

Feeling guilty about being hard on him is pretty common too for parents of a kid on the spectrum, from what I understand. I know my family members actually admitted to me that they felt badly because they were far more strict with me that with the other kids, growing up. They had to be though, considering my issues... they only had my best interests at heart. Their being strict actually helped me to be higher functioning. So don't feel bad I think you are doing great.