I'm 31

[sonicwhite]

Been single over a decade. I know a lot of ppl have it worse then I do. I just wished I would have went out more when I was younger instead of being a hermit and I mean that by the faith I profess. There is nothing wrong with being a Christian. Only until the point it starts to take away all you joy and leave you with little options.


I'm a shy person. And I'm not too concerned in finding me a likeminded person because I know that will make me unhappy in the end. I'm ready to just give the dating life a go. I have severe PTSD plus MDD and insomnia. But I believe that someone just gives me a chance that I will get back into the groove of dating. My ex left me when I needed someone the most. So a lot has to do with trust.



I really don't know where I'm going with this except I fear I will always be lonely and that no gal is going to give me a chance. But hey things can change overnight. I have a friend that is thirty five who just started dating so it's never too late.

 

[EveHarrington]

Some don't find love until their golden years. Never lose hope! :hug:

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I have a friend that is thirty five who just started dating so it's never too late.

Im 35 and been single since i was 23 and likely will be the remainder of my life and turn into "the crazy cat lady" that i always feared.

 

[sonicwhite]

Sorry, I always thought just having faith in God was enough. It is starting to turn out that that was a wrong choice. Yes I may have dated a few ppl with different outlooks on life but I would be growing.


I'm sorry you've also been single for some time.

 

[Sideways]

I honestly believe that you can have your faith, and a relationship, and that both can make you happy. But balance is sooo important. Throwing yourself entirely into either faith or a relationship (or work, or family commitments or, or, or...) that's not the way to happiness (at least, that's the theory!).

In either case, the MDD is significant. The elements of that, hopelessness, helplessness, inertia, inability to enjoy stuff - they're going to be a hurdle to your search for happiness wherever you look, whether it's faith or relationships or both. Working on your relationship with yourself, getting yourself to a better place mental health wise? That's going to pay dividends. Partly because your happiness won't be contingent on any specific goal - happiness won't depend on whether or not you have a girlfriend.

But also because starting in a new relationship is tough work emotionally, for you and them. You will be naturally a more attractive person, whether it be just for new friends or something more, if you are happy within yourself.

There is a sense of more balance in your posts these days, and if that's the case, hats off to you Sonic, because you've had a really tough run. But you need to put yourself first, and your health first. Ironically, putting yourself first is probably the best move you can make on the dating scene:)

 

[Lilith Jane]

I always thought just having faith in God was enough.

Hi Sonic,

I'm in a similar boat as you - single, close age, and yes, a Christian - so I know how awful it is to feel lonely/alone. I also was taught that God should be "enough" for me, and that I should depend on him instead of other people. But now I have to say that I don't think that's quite right. Yes, we do need God most - but a huge, huge way that God provides for us is through other people in our lives. He designed us to live in relationships and in healthy community.

I'd like to suggest - take it or leave it - that perhaps what you need at the moment, more than a girlfriend, is a community of healthy relationships. Starting a new dating relationship is both stressful and risky - and I think that you (and I, in my own situation) will be best prepared for that when already in a community that is meeting many of your felt needs. I'm really sorry that you feel lonely, and I hope that you can first find close, healthy friendships that will help take the sting out of your loneliness.

It's fantastic that you're ready to "give it a go", and I hope an opportunity comes along for you! But until then, keep investing in other positive relationships, and keep working on becoming the healthiest (thereby, most attractive) you can be! :tup: