Sexual Assault Anyone Have Problems Related To Religion And Rape Culture?

[Gs172003]

We are not on the same page, we aren't even talking about the same thing . This is getting too danged complicated. I'm out.

 

[EveHarrington]

We are not on the same page, we aren't even talking about the same thing . This is getting too dang...

I hope you can explain what you mean if there are a number of us who don't understand where you're coming from or what you're saying. Maybe we aren't communicating effectively and it's just a misunderstanding? :hug:

 

[Gs172003]

No. I'm done.

 

[Sideways]

I was abused by a man of God. And it has definitely made it difficult for me to feel at home with religion. I can see the value that religion has to offer individuals and humanity, but at what cost?

Maybe it's my Denial thing going on, but I kind of see religion as his excuse - like a trump card that you can't argue with. Religion is incredibly powerful that way, because so much of our sense of morality stems from one religion or another. When someone religious is claiming they're right about morality, and using that religion as an escuse to abuse you or shame you for being abused, whether doctrinally or just socially, the religion itself becomes hard to distinguish from the abuse, or the abuse culture.

I'm not sure where I'm going with that. But I do feel very strongly (very, very strongly) that it's not enough to say that "sexual assault is on the individual priest, not the church". I'd be a lot more persuaded that the church was genuinely anti-abuse if the institutions of religion started getting a little more active and vocal about slamming abuse. It's pretty easy to say "we don't condone what he did" - coming out and publicly shaming these abusers, shunning them from the church and actively supporting and welcoming victims in a big way would be far more helpful in persuading me that religion is not a sheild for abusers.

 

[Gs172003]

I was abused by a man of God. And it has definitely made it difficult for me to feel at home wi...

I don't know about anywhere else but I've heard of youth pastors etc being fired and it being made public for doing things like that. There are many churches in my city that offer counseling and groups for people that have many issues including past abuse. One church has a group that helps women who were trafficked and or in the sex industry. Churches around here do what they can but I'm sure there are things they can be better at just like anything else.

 

[EveHarrington]

Ok but I think it might be a good idea to talk things through. I'm not sure what upset you so much.

 

[Gs172003]

Eve I appreciate the thought but I'd rather not. I don't want to keep it going.

 

[Suzetig]

The purity ring "thing" isn't anywhere near as prevalent in the UK as it is in the States, thank goodness. In saying that, my concern with all of the "true love waits" type movements is the way they are heavily aimed at girls and young women. So they are left responsible if for whatever reason they have sex, and any discussion around sex being a natural, normal healthy thing is limited to "if you're married".

So even in a consensual situation the girl can be left feeling guilty, multiply that by 100 if she was assaulted or raped, because that's what rape does to a person anyway. In my view the whole purity agenda is about controlling women and girls through shame. I'm not saying every faith or every church - and yes there are some churches with good recovery support but my experience of both being shamed and watching others be publicly shamed has been very damaging.

 

[Fadeaway]

As somebody that goes to an "abrahamic" type church, the purity jewlery doesn't apply to people that were forced. They are STILL considered pure.

Uh, no they are not. If they hymen is broke (yes i know all about the myths) no man will want you for a wife. That is what you are taught. You can not be pure if you have been defiled. I had it drilled into my head that it was all about the hymen.

Oh and also thoughts, thinking about sex makes you unpure, so remembering you abuse makes you unpure. Remember watching this on TBN and other Christian t.v. station and radio, especially focus on the family.

 

[EveHarrington]

Sometimes all this man-made stuff about purity makes me want to scream! I mean I think about it and I kind of question its purpose. I agree that we should respect our bodies (as impossible for this is for me to personally do!)-----but I fail to see how respecting my body needs to be pushed toward the idea of purity. Who defines what is "pure"-----? Does God REALLY demand that I be "pure"? Why is purity foisted on females primarily? (Oh right-----historically because of the hymen------"purity" can be "proven" in males.) Why is sex only after marriage the definition of purity? Seems kind of odd if you think about it, right? I mean anyone can marry anyone in a quickie Vegas wedding and that is the gateway to pure sex? I really do think God is sitting up there shaking his head and thinks "you humans got it all wrong----"

 

[Gs172003]

What I have learned? There is alot of misinformation about religion on this site. Just because somebody claims religion doesn't mean they are. Think westboro Baptist.

That said I'm not coming back to this thread it's too danged hard to communicate something about this without me getting upset and not getting across what I mean. Take care.

 

[joeylittle]

What I have learned? There is alot of misinformation about religion on this site.

I think it's a shame that all you've taken away from this thread is that there's a lot of misinformation. People are writing about their personal experiences. I hear you, when you say 'not all churches' - and I believe you. But the truth is, there are plenty of christian churches that put a great deal of emphasis on female purity, and I'm not just referring to fringe organizations like Westboro Baptist.

The OP was very clear in the opening post, that the thread could be difficult for people who are aligned with a form of organized religion.

You've said you are going to stay away from the thread, and you've said it a few times. That is completely an OK thing to do. People might still quote or tag you, as I have done - and you are under no obligation to respond.

If you need help adjusting your alert settings so you don't receive alerts on this thread, please open a support ticket, and we can give you a hand with that.