Why Do Women Hate/dislike Each Other??

[lostforgottensoul]

I now wonder if there is a problem with me?

Other than being a trauma survivor?

Well im absolutely terrified of women because of my mom. So if there's something wrong with you i contracted it!

Im joking of course! There's nothing "wrong" with you!

 

[Freedomfighter]

I'm asking this question out of curiosity and personal experience because I've never been successful...

Have had such reactions as well, view them the same than you. I can make this short and simple.

If you are normally liked by guys and you have an uncomplicated and natural way of communicating with them and attracting them: do not ever count on a woman to be your friend, because that would not be happening, way too much jealousy.

If you naturally attract guys and they like your uncomplicated style and looks, don't ever count on guys being your friend either, because they always want more.

There, accurate simple explanation

 

[ladee]

My intention was not to imply all young women are petty. I did not take the time and made a generalized statement. I have younger women in my life that teach me. They teach me what a very complicated world they are living in and how they navigate their obstacles.
I did not have the constant bombardment of information that younger women have today.
And certainly did not mean to imply that some older women are not petty and shallow. I run like Forest Gump from women like that. I have a lot more patience with younger women trying to find their way in this very overwhelming world we live in.
There are some extrodinary women on this forum. I respect women who are trying to heal and grow. Age has nothing to do with it. So , sorry if my wording came out with less thought than I intended.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

There, accurate simple explanation

And an untrue generalization.

If you are normally liked by guys and you have an uncomplicated and natural way of communicating with them and attracting them: do not ever count on a woman to be your friend, because that would not be happening, way too much jealousy.

That's not true at all for me (the woman). I am rarely if ever jealous and if i feel jealous i will investigate it and talk it out with my friend.

Many other women I know are never jealous period.

If you naturally attract guys and they like your uncomplicated style and looks, don't ever count on guys being your friend either, because they always want more.

Not true for many as many, many, MANY guys are natural gentlemen and wont want more if you dont and will respect that you dont and still be your friend (had friends such as that and knew MANY more guys like that).

 

[sedna]

I wasnt sure I wanted to think about this one, then I remembered that very recently I watched a really insecure woman divide and polarize a large group of people on a 6 month project. She was 52. There was absolutely no reason to be doing that and eventually it destroyed the entire project, literally, it tanked.

At first I thought I was misreading her, because she seemed like someone that would be the last person to be that strangely immature, then I just stood back shocked by her tactics, which were identical to the way the homely girl in 7th grade develops Machiavellian brilliancy in keeping herself relevant. Each genuinely kind girl that tried to like the 7th grade version, even though she looked like her grandma did her school shopping and cut her hair with toenail clippers, was systematically thrown underneath the school bus like yesterdays sandwich. She'd take whatever secrets she got out of them on sincerely motivated sleepovers and then shop them around the popular crowd for attention. Then recruit whatever stuck up girls on board to keep a constant pattern of triangulating and gas lighting, so she could hang by white knuckles on the edge of the " popular girls crowd " until she graduated high school.

I couldn't believe I was watching a 52 year old woman with several Masters degrees operate like that, she had 4 kids, a nice husband and looked normal enough ( although very plain, but I have trouble buying that was her issue )

So, I decided to take her out for lunch a few times because I felt sorry for her....oh yeah, this is where the smacking the face emotion wont work because I want to take off my BIG FAT WEDGE HEEL and repeatedly smack my face with it. There is no emoticon for that.

Did it end well? NO. Could I have altered that by remembering every lesson I've ever learned about women in the last 48 years? MAYBE.

I only needed to remember the one I learned in 7th grade though, I forgot it. :grumpy:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

When I was a teenager and young adult I did have problems with other females and I now think it was me that was messed up in my disorders, before I was diagnosed.

I have good women friends now and can count them on one hand. I do not have the issues i used to have with women. But if one woman or man is dishonest with me and just dumps on me I quietly disconnect and just keep on going. That does not happen much and I call it boundaries and limits crossed if any of this makes sense.

 

[Tinyflame]

I think every generalization is a fallacy.

But people, of either gender, can dislike each other for any number of reasons, including (but not limited to) jealousy, envy, self-pity, threat, deceit, inability to impress or control, judgment or misjudgment, meanness, negativity, reminders of ex's, perceived slighting , cognitive distortions and mind-reading, miscommunication, etc. More competition than wanting the best for you.

I find men usually are more to the point, more energy, more considerate of hurting feelings long term, more up front honest- whether you like what they say or not/ less two-faced, less resentful, more accustomed to working as a required priority, less likely to talk about feelings .

Empirical studies have shown even young girls are far more passive-aggressive in their behaviours to peers than boys; other studies show girls as young as 7 emoting without internal arousal (distress), and boys the same age hiding it but conversely terribly bothered.

 

[sedna]

I think every generalization is a fallacy.

But people, of either gender, can dislike each other for any...

That's true @Junebug an interesting point I had forgotten from child psychology classes. I suppose it's easy to forget when you have the equality model drilled in by society, that some of the stereotypes that sound sexist are in some ways organic in the beginning. People eventually get through the development phases and modify behavior to adjust to maturity. Some more than others.

 

[pixel]

The thread has slightly gone off topic, to bring it back and hopefully assist the OP:

I was "too challenging and demanding" for their company.

I agree with this statement, their view is exactly what I think, too.
Please don't dismiss their summation, consider that it may be valid.

 

[sedna]

The thread has slightly gone off topic, to bring it back and hopefully assist the OP:

I agree with this...

Well, now I feel bad about being sidetracked by my own not relevant drama.

Before my self involved sidetracking I was heading into a different direction actually on topic.

I did notice that the original poster seemed firmly convinced that her dilemma was caused by being physically fit and had graduate degrees that she worked hard at, also that men want to be her friend because they want to get in her pants.

Because that was delivered in a statement as a fact way and emphasized by repeating it several times, I had to wonder how much of that shows in person.

I dont want to sound harsh, but when I see a woman who lacks humility decide my reservations around her are envy, I pretty much decide I dont like her. I also have urges to take her down a peg or two. Because frankly, the just deciding that someone feels envious of you based on your self appointed checklist of enviable qualities is obnoxious. But I'm not suggesting that is this poster, only that it crossed my mind the third time she listed her enviable qualities.

I've had to deal with jealousy and people feeling very threatened myself, you learn to spot that and diffuse it by putting them at ease.

I've known some gorgeous, intelligent and happy women that it was impossible not to like, they weren't being rejected or ignored by females at work or social circles. We've all met women that are so appealing to us that we feel pangs of jealousy and wish we could find something to hate about them, but cant.

 

[joeylittle]

I just can't seem to engage in those stupid girly talks that girls usually do and like those pink colored things.

I now wonder if there is a problem with me? Please note: I'm not trying to shift blames on anyone.

Well, I might suggest that it's an issue of context. I could not disagree more with your first statement that I've quoted; 'girls' aren't at all universally into pink colored things. And have you seen how metrosexual some men can be? These kinds of gender assumptions may be honestly predominant in your basic operating sphere, but all you need to do is change the context. Want to meet women who are more into philosophical debate? Find a group and join it. Think a little differently about how you can change your context, your situation - and you will very likely start meeting the kinds of people, men and women, that you'd genuinely like to be friends with.

I've always been a little more comfortable with men, but that's because women scared me when I was young and in school and they kicked me around a bit. However, I know some amazing women - and some of them are drop-dead-stunning-gorgeous, some are plain as day, some like to do their nails, some could care less - we do all, however, share some common interests. Same is true for my guy friends.

I think it's the company you keep, not the gender.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

intimidated" by me

Yes, they are probably jealous of you. Screw them, you don't need people like that in your life! Took me thirty years to realise that. You should be picky about people you befriend. Those types of women ain't worth wasting your breath on. They are dumbass clones of one another and the world is too full of them unfortunately.