Stalkerish Behavior??

[Deleted member 33052]

@moshpitmunkey. Mosh, I felt guilty about everything, always. But my mother was cruel and had no love for me. The day she died, I finally got to stop hoping that she would one day love me. Because as much as I hated her, I also wanted her. So, her death freed me. I didn't have to hope, to wait for her to tell me the things that mothers should tell their children.

I helped my stepfather clean out her stuff. With every bag that I dropped into the dumpster, I felt myself become lighter. The burden lifted off me.

Now, a few years later, I'm learning to feel some compassion for her. :hug:

 

[moshpitmunkey]

@moshpitmunkey. Mosh, I felt guilty about everything, always. But my mother was...

I'm not sure how things will turn out for me and my mom, but I'm really glad that you have peace in your life now and are at the point where you feel compassion for her. That takes a long. I'm just now trying to get over resenting her after this time. Its hard work and I applaud you

 

[Deleted member 33052]

@moshpitmunkey. Maybe only applaud with one hand...I still have days when I'm angry and resentful. And on other days, I feel sad for her. I'm trying very hard to increase the latter.

Mosh, every feeling you have is legitimate. Try to honour your negative feelings especially, because they're all the result of needs that aren't being met.

 

[moshpitmunkey]

@moshpitmunkey. Maybe only applaud with one hand...I still have days when I'm an...

I'll pat you on the back with one hand and keep cheering you on with the other one :)

Thank you so much for that..i really needed to hear it.