Tests About Myself

[shimmerz]

Okay, I have noticed this for some time now, but it seems even more prevalent now as I am starting to associate with my Post Traumatic SELF much more strongly than I did even a year ago.

I was just taking a Enneagram test and when I tried to answer the questions, I got totally confused as to 'who' is supposed to be answering the questions. I am not DID btw, but there is a huge difference between the pre trauma me and the post trauma me.

I am not familiar with myself enough at this point (I don't have many life experiences or interactions with people besides attempting to navigate in a survivalist way) to be able to answer using the NOW me, and I am distanced so far from the THEN me (prior to my latest trauma), that I don't feel that set of characteristics are valid anymore.

Does anyone else have this problem at all? Do you have the feeling that you don't know how to answer questions about yourself?

 

[Tinyflame]

In the way of untangling post-traumatic thinking from wisdom, yes. Not sure if I'd call that 'pre-traumatic' as 'asymptomatic'.

 

[Abstract]

Still have so many other things I wanted to answer on here but have time to do a quick one Shmmerz. Ennagram has basically made me feel completely insane! And I do feel split. I too don't have DID. I definitely don;t have a normal "before" but what I suppose I have is a start of a lot of dissociation, lack of connection to self and then at various times some things improved through hard work whilst others worsened (like PTSD for example). Its a random up-down this-way that-way thing. Trying to answer questions to this feels impossible.

I am pretty methodical and determined when I get something in my sights but no matter how hard I try or how much work I did on this Ennagram has proved to be impossible for me. Honestly. Just the thought makes me :arghh;:O_o::bag: Totally sympathise with the now then and many other nows and thens and inbetweens. Not being able to find the words for me. To find a me.

I am an I/ENF with Myers Briggs but thats easier for a few reasons.

 

[shimmerz]

'pre-traumatic' as 'asymptomatic'.

Agreed. I think I was referencing the fact that I understood the pre-traumatic part better and felt like she was me. I had limited understanding of how fragmented I was at the time.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I believe that tests can be good sometimes and not other times. I think perhaps for you to let this one go if you are able and just focus on your own healing and recovery. You are an amazing person in my eyes and rather special to me and I love your creative side in the threads you post. Just my opinion.:hug:

 

[rosey]

I have done all manner of test in attempt to find out who i am. Not one of them gave me a answer. Having experienced trauma to young to have a want to go back to who i was i realised i will never really know who i would have been. So now i focus on what i would like to be instead, looking forward rather than back. The way i see it is that i never had the chance to self develop in a way that most of the people i know did so i now have to self create. So go pick out what u want to be.....

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I so agree with @rosey because I have been doing this for years and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy that comes true. Years ago I had a vision of who I would like to be like and it has been actually coming through. Sure it is taking years but I suffered so many years of hell on earth that I am finally in a position to be able to develop me. Hang in there:hug:

 

[shimmerz]

who I would like to be like and it has been actually coming through

Gizmo. I am so VERY happy that things are going well for you. Thank you for your encouragement, all of you.

 

[rosey]

I so agree with @rosey because I have been doing this for years and it becomes a self...

So glad that it is working for you. As you said it takes time (still early days for me) but i have found it a much less painful approach.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Thank you rosey. It does work. I do not know where the vision came from, but it does work so hang in there and grow into your real and true self.:hug:

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Do you have the feeling that you don't know how to answer questions about yourself?

Sure do. I cant seem to connect words with myself or how to describe myself.

 

[rosey]

just a thought and note to self... maybe time to stop trying and analysing and just be.... if only it were that easy right?