ED Appetite loss?

[Weemie]

so idk i just need to vent about this
anyway, in the past..................
3 months perhaps, 4 at most
ive lost over 30 lbs
i weigh less than 100 lbs

eating feels like the hugest chore known to mankind
food does not have any taste, its literally like eating sawdust
i take a vitamin and try to drink lots of milk and eat high calorie foods
and even with a lack of activity (sedentary lifestyle) i am still dropping

i look like a cancer patient, my eyes look like someone punched me in both eyes and my pallor is all f*cked up
i am out of breath all the time and feel super frail and weak
its not anorexia, i dont GAF about my weight i just cannot seem to force myself to eat
i spend like 20 minutes staring at chicken strips if i can make myself eat one
idfk

im at the point where im looking at pharma solutions like my moms seroquel or an SSRI but the issue is that drugs f*ck with my head hardcore
the seroquel thing is really hit or miss, the pills are 100mg which means i would have to cut them into 4ths (25mg) which is still TOO MUCH. i was on 25mg at one point and it still triggered the shit out of me.
drowsy drugs send me into a big derealization state
i am also using at the same time (opiates) which impacts my appetite for sure

idk i guess i am experiencing something of a crisis but idk what i want to do about it
i promised myself id go IP if i dropped below 100 lbs but i honestly do not want to do that
but for no real reason other than "i dont want to" so like there is no point i guess
like i just feel like i know i wont be taken seriously and im just some "psych patient"
or they'll try to force me to eat and i just can't do it
if i could force myself to eat i would be eating
the only thing they could do would be PPN/IV fluids

but then i'd have to deal with the f*cking like "oh you're anorexic" or whatever
or deal with the "oh well just DO IT" f*cking mentality
like "oh well you obviously understand everything here so just DO IT you're just looking for attention"
(with this post basically yes i am lmao but idk its online so its not so obvious)

i just need to vent about this sorry

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

Yes, I have appetite loss. But not like this - at a point, the biological need for food kicks in.

Honestly, this sounds like drug issue rather than just a PTSD issue (not saying that the two aren't interrelated). It sounds like you do, indeed, need the hospital, even if it is just to have a chance to recalibrate and get sober.

Sending kind thoughts your way.

 

[Weemie]

ye, i will just mention i have had drug issues for my entire life and this is the first time this has ever happened to me
in fact i always used to have the opposite problem (like i never stopped eating)
so idk
thank you though <3

 

[Mim28]

so idk i just need to vent about this
anyway, in the past..................
3 months perhaps, 4 at m...

I think I know how you feel. Normally, I am a ravenous eater, and I admit that my crazy and sedentary work life lead me to gain about 20 lbs. Due to exhaustion and ptsd trigger, I find eating a chore. I know I am in crisis when I suddenly drop weight, which I recently did. Over 10 lbs in a week. I eat because I know food is medicine, but for me it has to be the right foods. I know my family thinks I'm not eating. I had eggs toast and decaf coffee for breakfast and my sweet mother brought me a burger for lunch. I look ill. I have no color and I look tired because I am exhausted.
While the Lexapro usually increases appetite, the Xanax has been known to decrease. I'm not sure what is going on, but all I know is my body needs food to survive and thrive, so I schedule meals like medicine. One day I'll feel like eating again.
I'm not sure if you mentioned it or if I missed it, but you might want to have your thyroid checked. I made an appointment to see my doctor Thursday. I need complete hormonal workup to figure this out.
I hope you feel better soon.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

When I am super stressed over a long period of time I lose my appetite and when I feel good I gain weight. Have you thought of drinking protein drinks? Just a thought.

 

[Weemie]

yeah i have actually
i have a weirder co-occurring issue which is that one of my meds im on causes significant dysguesia that limits what i can eat and drink
(anything really water-based and non-acidic basically tastes like bird shit)
i also went through a period where i, like, had no income and no money and i got rapidly used to eating nothing
idk like i dont experience hunger anymore or something it is super f*cked up
a medical issue itself im a little worried about but like, i feel like it can be explained by literally any of these things (drugs/stress/depression/etc)
so idk i just dont have any motivation to do anything at all
like i would be happy just never doing anything again
and like even now i can tell i NEED FOOD but i cannot force myself past the like physical act of eating
uh, i also have mega triggers with eating food, or idk you know how it goes
just the physical act of doing so
lord

 

[Friday]

Ice cold nutrition shakes & a straw. Removes most of the taste. Freeze acidic things like OJ into ice cubes to suck on before and after.

It isn't an NG tube, or lactated ringers/banana bag/etc., but next best thing I know of.

Same token... Nutrients & Salts on the QV... Get your ass to the ER for those IVs.

***
Nutrition Shakes... The premade ones, to keep on hand, and to start off with because no-thinking-required. Actual food based protein shakes? Look up weight lifters ones, thousands of calories per. (I have a list of some on my media page, but they're mostly low calorie and focused more on flavor than bulking up, and you need the opposite). Again. All but freeze the suckers to nix the taste, or freeze and throw in blender, a straw, and suck those bitches down.

 

[Friday]

Another thought... If the hospital don't-wannas are being driven by not wanting to give up the opiates? No doctor in their right mind is gonna risk your heart failing, or losing even more weight, trying to do an opiate kick at the same time as dealing with starvation.

From experience. Both on the medical side, where you have to fatten cancer patients up before doing a kick (to lower their tolerance, so you can put them back on pain killers for their next round of treatment, f*cking brutal)... And from being thrown on morphine/fentanyl/etc. when they figured out in addition to starving us, we'd been hooked on heroin, during one of the less fun chapters of my life. Step 1 fatten up & stabilize. Step 2 puke your guts out days, shit food you haven't even eaten yet, and do the cardiac mamba. :wtf: = Right order. The starvation thing has to get sorted first. And that's more than a couple IV bags to keep you from seizing. That's -most likely- months of adding, and sloooow conditioning to rebuild your heart & other organs. Before they'd even consider weaning you off opiates. So IF that's an issue... tell the addict part of you to STFU, go for the Rx grade, and fatten up, hear? :)

ETA... I also know you speak medicalese, so can thrash that out with the docs in advance... Instead of being me back when & picking up a couple totally unnecessary MIs before...oh...that's better :rolleyes:. Talk with them. Get a plan in place. Execute. You're good at that.

 

[Hope69]

HI. I lose weight when I get bad anxiety. Lost nearly 15 lbs in 9 weeks, and I'm thin to begin with, so I understand the looking like a cancer patient thing.
I am sensitive to meds, I now take half a 25 mg seroquel at bedtime because I can't stay awake if I take the stuff, it helped me. 25 mg was like a horse tranquilizer, couldn't move.
for appetite, I find ginger tea, hot or cold, helps. Walking helps. And then I just force lots of small high calorie snacks like nuts, cheese, I drink a beer before bed (for the calories actually) chocolate etc... I use oil liberally, olive oil on rice, salads, basically to get extra calories and nutrition.
I hope it gets easier for you!

 

[Gadgie]

I have been trying for years to put weight on, but no matter how much I eat, I never seem to put any weight on?

It started when I had to come home from working over seas, with dysentery and I weighed seven stones. I managed to get back up to Eight Stone Seven Pounds, but never got above that?

I'm presently just above Eight Stones, no where near the Eleven Stone Seven that I used to be for most of my adult life?

The doctor used to say it was due to "stress" when I was caring for my late wife, for seven years, but he can't say that now, she has been gone for two years now?

 

[Weemie]

No doctor in their right mind is gonna risk your heart failing, or losing even more weight, trying to do an opiate kick at the same time as dealing with starvation.

you got my reluctance right in one here as well fri haha
but i mean i wasnt gonna just yell that on a thread where "rrrr addict!" lmao ykwim
but yeah
i uh am not stable enough to do any kind of w/d right now
it would be AMAZING if i could just go to the ER and know that they'd be like "ok not eating let's get stable"
and focus on symptom-based treatment
and not bring any f*cking "oh well time for a short stay for the psycho pt" into it
but that never happens, ever
EVER.
or f*cking bring all this judgey bullshit into it (if not outright commit me, i am fairly sure if i pushed hard enough they wouldnt do that ONLY because there are no beds right now)

 

[Weemie]

hope i actually try the beer thing too
like BEER USED TO MAKE ME HUNGRY
but now it doesn't even really do that all that much
i ate uh like three chicken strips today, thats all
f*ck me