Making A Bubble

[Rani G2]

My words come across selfpitying, self-indulgent and dwelling on my own sorrows. I feel people that I have got to know in my life, just leave, cutt off, show no any interest after a while. I know I am generalizing, because there can be so many reasons why people act the way they do.

I feel invisible, small and weak. My inner critic says that you dont progress by analyzing and undermining your capacity to act.

I came across this person who had strong spiritual beliefs about life, nature, humanity.
I have always been very critical about spiritual teachings especially when they become dogmatic. Where contrariness is not allowed to be there, where questioning things is a sign of unacceptance.

While being in that situation, I have realised that I search for clarifications too often, I tend to somewhat stagnate. I justify my situation analyzing and searching for scientific views. That doesnt make me different to that person with spiritual views.This too probably is a thinking pattern I have adopted to stay safe, avoiding pain and inner conflicts.

Needed to get this out of the system.

 

[Bodu_Birch]

My words come across selfpitying, self-indulgent and dwelling on my own sorrows. I feel people that I...

Very well articulated shankara

 

[Rani G2]

Thanks Bodu Birch

 

[Silver.]

My s/o does a lot of this, and he is my supporter, not a sufferer.
Which has me wondering how this defense mechanism correlates between people with PTSD and people without.
I know you were just posting to get this out of your system, but it has been very thought provoking for me. Thank you and take care x

 

[Rani G2]

@Silver

i dont know if you are also meaning something similar to cognitive dissonance. Actually, I am interested How people make their steps out of the comfort zone. Its probably something that depends on many things. Even though our Defense mechanism protects us it doesnt seem to help us integrate into society in the long run. On the other hand I am skeptical about those so called “ you ought to do this to get better“ mantras, so that we are functioning without questioning the conditions we are being faced with. Its probably a very individual experience

By being too critical, which probably is just an exit road to not act out, or avoid situations, I have build up all kinds of theories, so that I feel somewhat secure, invulnerable. Who am I fooling? Only my own self.

 

[Silver.]

I completely agree that just because you are telling yourself you need to do something, it doesn't mean that you can go out and do such (no matter how many times you repeat it to yourself sometimes it just isn't possible)

An example of comfort zone, I have social anxiety: I have to do everything in baby steps, such as go to a gathering, but hide in the corner. If I find I am too overwhelmed and can't go to the gathering, then I try not to beat myself up for it, because then I have created for myself a very negative cycle of which I cannot pull out of (if this makes any sense?)

 

[Rani G2]

@Silver

yes it makes sense Silver. Its a repititive process and hard to get out of. You say you “try not to beat yourself up“. I guess there lies the key....that makes a big difference. When you say to yourself, I realise that today I am not capable, because I need the rest“it has a different quality. Then you have that selfrespect to care for yourself.