Is There Anything I Can Agree With My T For When I'm Too Dissociated To Safely Get Myself Home?

[GardenGirl0214]

I really like your idea about putting your helpful items on the table at the beginning of the session. It might help you to feel more in control. I also think reminding her that the loud noise was helpful is a good idea. Sometimes therapists forget, or like you said, she may have thought doingt that last week might have made things worse.

 

[joeylittle]

@barefoot - yes, I think planning on a time to start decompressing, no matter whether you need it or not, will help guarantee that you don't end up having an accidental or unexpected dissociation within the last 10/15 minutes you are in there. Even using that time to specifically work on a grounding routine, or practice some breathing skill, do 10 minutes of guided meditation (if you are into that) - I've found that planning to do it in my own therapy when it was a processing session turned into me starting to naturally re-center even in non-processing sessions.

 

[Deleted member 31177]

When I used to disassociate a lot I never remembered a thing - not anything during the time I was "away" or disassociated. I DO know when one of those episodes would start, though because I would start rocking, and then rocking harder with my hands crossed over my stomach. After that I was usually somewhere else, not knowing a thing about that blank space of time from when I was rocking to when I . . . "came to" I guess you would call it. When I was in a daze, it was usually the high amount of meds they had me on at the time (I had been misdiagnosed at this particular time of my life - very long story).

But heck, if you're feeling swirly and whirley in the head, I'd trust the T to call your partner or someone you both agree upon to come get you - OR, wait it out until you feel back to where you can drive - seriously. This will save both you and other drivers out there.

And believe me truly - I get totally what you are talking about when you don't want to give someone else your power, or let them have power over you or your life. I know this from experience which is a part of the long story I was talking about, above. No one will ever have power over me again - ever. But it sounds like your T is really looking out for you and cares about your well-being when it comes to your safety.

Be well, my friend!

 

[super_saiyan]

Ice is my saving grace. I don't know if you can ask her to keep some ice packs in the freezer.

 

[barefoot]

@Julinha - yes, when I "just" dissociate, I have no idea about anything....just a blank about where the time has gone. Sometimes though, it's like I toggle between dissociation and feeling really emotionally flooded...so I think I'm gone, then I'm sort of here but not really but like I've tapped into feelings that are nothing to do with where I am in that moment...and then I'm zoned out and gone again... And those times when I "toggle" I remember bits but the recollections are all quite vague and unreal. It's very disorientating...

And I'm not sure which is worse...the confusion and shame of not remembering and not knowing what I've said/done. Or remembering bits...but that's humiliating as well because I know I've said/done things that are confusing and strange...

I've discussed and agreed a plan with my partner so that if (probably, when!) it happens to that degree again, she can drive me half way and meet me and drive me the rest of the way home. I'll share the plan with my therapist when I see her next and hopefully it will be workable.

Just to clarify though - I travel on public transport (tubes and trains) to get to therapy, I don't drive - so I'm not driving while dissociated and putting other road users at risk.

 

[EmmaOwl]

I regularly get quite spacey in sessions and have on a few occasions ended up triggered/retraumatised a...

I see I'm coming to this very late in the game. Have you been able to resolve this one?

If not, I've got a small twist which is make a plan to always check in w/your partner, as a matter of course, and have it be a habit, and allow both your partner and your therapist (if you choose to make her part of this) to speak to you before any post-therapy travel at all. Ever. Make that the usual ritual and stick to it. It doesn't have to take more than two minutes.

It has worked out pretty well for me - right after therapy, I always call my mother and we talk for a few minutes before I start the hour-long drive home. That is partly so she doesn't get anxious if I don't get home at a certain time! But she would be able to figure if I was too "off" for driving home, and figure out an alternative if something was wrong for any reason. So if you make the call every time you finish up a therapy session, no one will have to make a judgment call over the phone call itself.

Does that make sense?
I'm sorry if I repeated someone else's suggestion - I don't think I did but I'm not positive. Either way, I hope you you've already found a good work-around. Maybe the idea could help others. Keeping up a schedule like that definitely helps me "decompress" from therapy after just a short phone call. Gets me back into the real world, I guess.

 

[barefoot]

Thanks for the suggestion @Allie D.

The dissociation calmed down for a while but has recently returned. When it's full-on (head completely gone, can't feel my body, can't stand up - as opposed to just being a bit spacey) I still have a habit of insisting that I'm fine and saying "no" to any suggestions my therapist makes. So, not much progress on that front!

What my partner and I agreed a couple of weeks ago is slightly along the lines of your suggestion - I text her when I go in and when I come out. My therapist has a tendency to run late, so by letting my partner know when I go in, she will know when I should be due out. She will therefore know that if I've gone in on time but it's got to 4.45pm and I haven't texted to say I'm out, something may have gone awry. And then she can phone me to check. And she can also then think that it's probably going to be a good idea for her to not drive home from work but to drive in the opposite direction into town to pick me up from the station. So, that's what I'm doing each week now and so far so good - I haven't dissociated the last couple of weeks, so I've done the text check ins with my partner and then gone home and that's been fine. But I do feel that, as a structure, this should work if I do come unstuck during session.

 

[Gs172003]

I regularly get quite spacey in sessions and have on a few occasions ended up triggered/retraumatised a...

I didn't read all the replies but...can you bring somebody with you?

 

[barefoot]

@missy meier - no, not really practical. My therapist is two hours away from where I live, so it's not that it's somewhere local so someone can easily just pop and meet me. And, to be honest, I'm a bit funny about it being my space so, even if she was more local, I think the idea of my partner/a friend being in my therapy space would spook me (I know you probably don't mean for them to come into session with me but even having them wait outside would feel strange to me) Plus, the people I know who could potentially be willing to come and help if I asked - including my partner - are all at work while I'm at therapy, so I can't ask them to leave work and then embark on a four hour round trip!

So, I will stick to the text check ins with my partner for now and see how that goes next time it happens.

 

[EmmaOwl]

I do feel that, as a structure, this should work if I do come unstuck during session.

Well, that is the most important thing! Being safe. I'm glad you found something that works for you.