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What Made You Angry Today?

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I spent HOURS reorganizing my room. It's nowhere near done. And SOMEONE has to come home push past me as I was stepping out of my room to look into my room. I literally had to back up to avoid our heads smacking together. And what did the person say? They spoke to me to in the SAME tone used on the damn DOG. And then LAUGHED that I have things on my bed to organize.

You know I'm not a perfect person and I'm not a perfect mother but, I damn sure won't be cooing at my dog and calling her princess and talking to my daughter like she too is the DOG.
 
Anniversary of what it is.

New bullshit reminiscent of what it is.

My own incapability.

f*ck praying to the saint of Death and her as usual having stupid f*cking idea of 'Nawh, you survive it, man.'

I miss a long line of brothers, sisters, children, and that one brilliant bloody moron that taught me how to cruise countries I was thorough lost in in particular. And that one sister in that Other Shithole as well. Why am I even thinking of this shit. KISS. There's dandelion coffee.

#Arrow-Can't-Oliver-Queen-Anymore, slash #Ronin-Forgot-Cashewing-And-Laughter. But 'roll on'. Capoeira's Still A Game.

Otherwise known as: Angry at loss. Angry at my incompetence leading to loss. Angry at death for being that loss. Angry at not being angry enough.

Angry at (... we don't go there, God Dad had something about 'If they hurt you, they're wrong by default'. Why am I even listening to that shit. Oh. Right. Pain. I probably need to medicate pain. When I scramble f*cks to give and meds, instead of needing them for someone way more injured than me.)
 
So it's raining, snowing, icy and nasty out. MIL wants to take the kids to see Christmas displays that the husband and I already took them too.. when asked if I want to go I respectfully and kindly decline as I'm just now getting better from a sinus infection, I've had a long day and I just don't feel up to it. Husband completely guilt trips me like he always does when I don't do what he wants. It's a f*cking 10 minute car ride inside our local park which is 1/2 mile away, to look at the displays at best.. today had been a good day.. I actually laughed and smiled today.. Just when I find him somewhat tolerable he does or says something to completely burn my ass. Maybe I'm being the asshole for not going and for pacifying everyone else's wants and expectations.. that's what makes me mad.. he makes me feel like an ass and turns everything around to where I tend to blame and question myself but Not tonight sir.. not tonight. Tonight you were the ass. Boy, oh boy, I tell you, I'm soooooooo Sick....of.....this.
 
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