What Made You Angry Today?

[Friday]

I wish my narc was in another relationship, then he would move on.

Mine just diversified :wtf:

5 years later; He remarried before our divorce was finalized, has 2 more kids, (and at least one GF I know of); & joy of joys, still finds time to f*ck with us.

 

[aut555]

Mine just diversified :wtf:

5 years later; He remarried before our divorce was finalized, has 2 more k...

You have a multi-task narc, thank god, mine has bipolar issues, he can't multi-task on that same level, he has to crash after manic highs. Lol.

 

[Ironlady]

Toxic men drain us, until we leave.

Don't I know it.... :(

 

[Ronin]

Being told to suck it up & how my fault it is. In more words. Along with a lot of blaming for suicidality &.

But it didn't make me angry enough. It just made me sad. Can't really talk. Apparently I was wrong about people again.

So I just smiled through and nodded head. Yeah. I'm okay. I can do okay. And dream of rain and dirt.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

Being snapped at when out to dinner with friends.

Being told "I know the dog's barking bothers you since you're hypervigilant but, she shouldn't have to pay for that". Meaning the dog should be able to bark as much as she wants no matter how it triggers PTSD reactions? I should have to suffer through it? For the dog? It's a DOG. Telling it to stop barking when it's a very vocal dog isn't unreasonable or asking the dog to pay for a damn thing. In all fairness I don't think the implied message was intended. It still made me mad though.

 

[Keming]

Angry at my knees for failing again.
Angry at the doctor who joked about 'adolescent sports injuries' in a middle-aged man, and noted the old fractures and stress fractures in the kneecap.
angry at the people who put those fractures in my kneecaps.

 

[Friday]

So all day yesterday my right leg was just screaming at me. Whole. Damn. Thing. felt like a cramp??? Da fuq? Skin, bone, muscle, who f*cker just effing hurt. To the point that then my right back was spasming, and my right shoulder was locking, making my right arm go numb & ouchy So I finally figure out this morning, after sleeping and the rest of my leg & body calming down on the hurt-o-meter, that it appears I've either broken or dislocated a bone in my foot. :banghead: I haven't don't anything to warrant that! Foot! WTF???

On the upside, walking around on it has caused my entire leg to start doing the crampy-throb-shooting-pain-thing, and the spasm in my back is starting. So at least there's that. Mystery solved. Well. ONE mystery. Motherf*cking foot.

To be fair, that is my extra broken ankle (I have some loose pieces of bone that I walked on for too long after breaking to screw back together, the ends were rubbed too smooth) that also shredded some of the protective covering for the tendons... So occasionally I'll have a tendon slide the wrong way and get stuck on the other side of the bone, which pulls some of the rest of my foot caddywhompus. Usually, though, since that hurts like a bitch, I'm aware of it happening. IDK. My foots all f*ckered up. I'll try sitting on it and see if I can get the bone to go back where it's supposed to. Maybe it's just dislocated and will pop back into where the f*ck it's supposed to be., instead of poking up through the muscles and nerve bundles making the rest of my leg mad at me. Or will get infinitely worse. Either way, really. It will get better, or I'll go see a doc. Stupid, f*cking, nonworking, grrrrr :mad:

 

[Ronin]

Care & More care, @Friday.

What made me angry today was emotional nonsense that about undid me. Back to losing important chunks of life except in dreams, but c'est la vie, someone hold the fricking spade for me, I'll be back to digging the hell UP in a bit. Needa go back to isolating. Trust is too much ammo & trust is deadly for the soul.

 

[Friday]

Back to losing important chunks of life except in dreams, but c'est la vie,

Been me for months. :banghead: Too much pain, too much grief, too much trust needed... shit just started locking away. Also been isolating a treat. Past few days something different happening? Looking at the edges of good memories, instead. Same lives. Different pieces of them. Rest may be lost & locked away for now. But instead of unleashing the dogs, I'm looking at patches of sunlight. It's... Maybe not helpful? But it feels more solid. Like giving the dark a place it can live, before whistling it over. Shall see. In any event, it's nice to have the past smile & wink at me, for a change, instead of bite me.

 

[Ronin]

Shall see. In any event, it's nice to have the past smile & wink at me, for a change, instead of bite me.

I have that on a goals list.

Nice parts, too difficult, but I can do insert things that weren't part of any of that into the pasts, because hell, if it's gonna be feeling surreal and slipping, I better insert not-surreal and solid-feels conversations & heart warming lines into it. Like a 'the past isn't winking at me, it's probably blind-eyed at this point... but imma wink from the future and see what it does.' Same goal, different direction to tackle it from. :sneaky:

 

[Ironlady]

yesterday husband tells the kids they are to help me get laundry folded and put away and that it is to get done TODAY. Not some done today. All today.. didn't ask me if I felt up to tackling the giant laundry monster. I mean I guess the assumption is I sit on my goddamned ass all day.. so he Basically told me what to do and I went into my small self. Couldn't say anything. Froze. So I'm just another one of the kids now. I see it clearly now.. I've married my f*ckING father. And as I look at all these Christmas gifts I feel like it's just a debt that I'm going to being paying off. Fully triggered right now I know. Thinking all askew.. catastrophic, cognition filter muddy. just not okay. I'm hurting. I'm Angry. I'm Not okay at all.

 

[Ronin]

(hugs) @Ironlady.

Relating. & He has no right to boss you around like this. If he wants his laundry so much? He can well do it himself.