My Oven Is An Issue / Struggling

[theshadowoftheliving]

Really hard therapy appointment today and now I'm struggling to not put my head in the oven again.

The pilot light is out, so it just gives off gas and nothing heats up.

I'm really nervous and I need to stay out of the kitchen but the lure is really strong. She said it wasn't DID and the rest of me is in calamity.

 

[J'qel]

Just because we have independant parts of ourselves doesn't mean DID. That's fine. Some of us have very different parts of ourselves and things that happen that we can't deal with.

No reason for an oven, unless you're making pot roast. Then I might come over and visit.

Honestly hon, it's okay. No diagnosis is by the book and complete. If something seems by the book, it isn't. Take heart, they're trying to help you with the most accurate methods they can. They are actually trying to help free you.

Cast off your shackles and rejoice. DID is a whole bunch of issues that you don't want-like people telling you you're making it up. Your T isn't saying that-they're saying it's something else.

Take a breath (not full of gas) and maybe a nice glass of wine and relax. Let them handle it for tonight, even tomorrow night if you need to, that's their job.

*hugs*

 

[joeylittle]

The pilot light is out, so it just gives off gas and nothing heats up.

@theshadowoftheliving - you, or someone, needs to light the pilot light. ASAP. I don't think you want your home to explode - even if you may think that's what you want right now, its not a good idea.

You got a shock with some tough news. Sometimes the best thing to do is agree to give yourself 24 hours before you'll even think about it again. Put it in a box, and use your distraction tools.

Are you able to call a crisis line or 911 if you need to? And, is there anyone else with you?

 

[cat-lady]

Same as what J'qel and Joeylittle said. Get someone to take care of that pilot light for you and look up a crises line just in case. Based off a web search I found this: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/. Haven't tried it but it looks good. Others may have other suggestions.Then give yourself lots of self care. You put in the effort to go to therapy, it's been a tough day, and you deserve a break.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

The igniter isn't working and I'm not sure how to light it. I'm afraid I'll cause more damage than I'll fix if I try to do it now. There isn't anyone to help me tonight and I can't call till tomorrow.

lm alone but I haven't turned on the stove yet, fighting hard and finding other ways to dispel my nervous, anxious energy. I don't feel like I'll ever amount to anything and I'm just so numb. Trying hard but feel totally discredited and trying not to listen to them rage inside and hurt my body outside.

I'm just so exhausted.

 

[Gs172003]

The igniter isn't working and I'm not sure how to light it. I'm afraid I'll cause more dam...

Time to convert to an electric stove.

 

[joeylittle]

@theshadowoftheliving - how are you today?

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

@joeylittle alive?

 

[joeylittle]

Hey - that's good, @theshadowoftheliving. My usual answer in bad bad times would be, 'I'm here'.

Thank you for checking in. I'm thinking of you.

 

[hodge]

I'm thinking of you, too, @theshadowoftheliving. Have you gotten the pilot light lit?

 

[Suzetig]

I'm sorry you're going through a hard time - sometimes what works for me is to think in very small blocks of time. So "I wait 10 mins" then "I managed that 10 mins, I can manage 10 more" and so on. Note the A achievement each time you do 10 mins without hurting yourself, and when you manage an hour, or two etc.

Little steps are all you need. Keep safe.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

@hodge - not yet, but I did manage to muster the courage to call the property management office and they are sending someone out to look at it today (I'm scared to try to do it myself).

I also sent an email to my therapist and am waiting for her response. Trying to go through the motions of working in the meantime. I haven't wanted to disappear this badly for a long, long time.