Too Soon To Process Trauma? (re: It's Not Time)

[Symphony]

So I've been waiting to get into Sheppard Pratt Trauma Disorders Unit/Program for ages now due to paperwork screw ups. My original intention for going was because every time I try to deal with trauma, we just end up a suicidal wreck. My treatment team figured that inpatient was the best solution for this.

However, now that I've read a forum post by someone else going to SP TDU, I'm wondering if my therapist was being too pushy in sessions for material I wasn't ready to work with? I suspected that they were too pushy (I mean that in the nicest of ways, honestly, they were great) and that's why I crumbled. But then again, maybe I should just take it as a sign that stabilization at Sheppard Pratt really is what's best anyway?
But I'll tuck this into my head as a sign that maybe processing might never be a good option for me.

Here's the forum post that was so very thought provoking for us:
It's not time - Forums at Psych Central

 

[Seasounds]

:hug:;)

I suspected they were too pushy

i agree. Processing trauma has only worked for me when I got to be in charge of what I talked about, how much I talked about, and when I wanted to talk.

I also needed to:

1. find a highly body-attuned therapist who would help me be in touch of my early signs of disassociation (not tracking, eyes glazing, stopping moving, etc.)
2. Be willing to atop pushing, myself, when my therapist or I would see signs of early disassociative signals.

For me, recovery is always best to take at the speed I demonstrate that I am within a range of basic functionality. And recovery is always, always, too slow. ;) That is one reason why I like have my PTSD forum friends; I am not alone.:happy:

Remember to share your 'sense of things' 'being too much', when you get the first sensation or hunch that something is too much. What are those first signals that you have got, previously? Knowing them ahead of time may be helpful.

Hope all goes well for you!:hug:

 

[Symphony]

Problem is, while half of my system wholeheartedly supports locking down and shutting down, we're a force to be reckoned with when it comes to wanting to power through material and just get everything over with already. It's almost like a mental form of self harm...

 

[Crow]

I've let this old saying lead my recovery and while I've been frustrated at the speed, following this has worked beautifully. My T has taken a very slow, very me-driven approach to the trauma.

"I will only go as fast as the slowest part of me feels safe to go."

from a song called Gentle with Myself by Karen Drucker.

If I'd had the opportunity for inpatient, I would have grabbed it. Even if I didn't delve into the madness, I'm sure the tools, support, and time would have been helpful.

 

[Seasounds]

just get everything over with already. It's almost like a mental form of self harm...

Exact-a--dack-ally!:tup: It is a discipline for me to regulate plunges-that is when, when I can. Life has a way of surprising me, when I least expect it.:lurking:

 

[Justmehere]

Pacing trauma work is part of the process. Slow doesn't mean never. I'm surprised your therapist didn't slow down and work on other things when the trauma work became too hard. It's not like ripping of a bandaid where the quicker the process the better. Did they explain any reason for the pushing?

 

[StellaBlue]

we're a force to be reckoned with when it comes to wanting to power through material and just get everything over with already

Been there, did that, got the commitment papers to prove it.

I concur with everyone else who's commented - it's a slow, individual process. My experience has been similar to the one @Vandya describes - I need to be in charge of how much and when to disclose, I need an EXPERIENCED, highly body-attuned therapist and I need to stop and back-up when I've gone way past my window of tolerance.

 

[Intrepid]

My first therapy for PTSD was a train wreck. It pulled out a really disastrous episode from my childhood, then left me alone to deal with it. I felt eviscerated. That made it difficult to trust therapy for the next 20 years.

My current therapist thought at first that she could go right to the heart of the matter, much in the same way that original therapy did. She isn't stupid, though. She learned who I was, and slowed down.

 

[Symphony]

My first therapy for PTSD was a train wreck. It pulled out a really disastrous episode from my childh...

Mine also had been a "heart of the matter" type and I don't think they realized how prone I'd be to attempting suicide and for my system to fall to pieces just by even the vaguest of "heart" questions. I don't even know how many of my alters popped out in those sessions when it was ONLY supposed to be our mediator part present (our own rule). There is a reason why we do the things we do.

 

[Sandstone]

So, does anyone have any hints on how to recognise when it is time? I'm being very cautious at the moment, but I want to move onat some stage. I want my life back.

 

[Symphony]

I just want to rip the band aid off already.

(obviously while in a safe environment where we are also safe from ourselves)

 

[StellaBlue]

So, does anyone have any hints on how to recognise when it is time?

I would ask yourself the following questions:

• Are you stable?
  
• Are you safe (is your living situation free from abuse, do you have food, electricity, etc.)?
  
• Can you self-regulate?
  
• Have you developed distress tolerance skills?
  
• Are you using maladaptive coping mechanisms (drinking, cutting, eating disordered behavior) to cope?
• Do you have positive resources to rely upon (friends, exercise, yoga, church, art, etc.)?
• Do you have an experienced trauma therapist to work with? Have you developed a positive working relationship with this person?