Just Sent This To My Therapist. Count Down To Downhill

[Gs172003]

Yes, @Zoogal - I think it's ok to wait. There's no rush here. Take things in yo...

Thank you

 

[Deleted member 541]

I'd give yourself some time to digest what you just told your T. Then, when you're ready, or after you've talked to your T about it, then if you still feel that you should bring it up to hubby, then yes. You might ask T, on how to break it to hubby? Maybe with T, or some other setting.

 

[Gs172003]

I'd give yourself some time to digest what you just told your T. Then, when you're ready, or after you'v...

Thank you that sounds good

 

[Gs172003]

How do I handle it if I sent it to my therapist yesterday and she never responded?

 

[Ronin]

Give her time ; are you sure she read it already?

She's probably thinking of how to respond sensitively / something in that vein.

 

[digger]

sent it to my therapist yesterday and she never responded?

Do you usually have much communication with your therapist between sessions?

 

[Gs172003]

Do you usually have much communication with your therapist between sessions?

Some. When I sent her the pic from the closet my daughter did she called me. Depends on what it is.

 

[digger]

I wouldn't read too much into her not responding to this immediately.

Sometimes I think when we're caught up in our own sense of urgency, and when our T can feel so central to our own lives, it can be hard to keep in mind that we are only one part of their working life and that they have other commitments, both personal and work related, that will at times take priority over our needs.
That doesn't mean they don't care about us, or that they're not committed to working with us, but that things that are at the top of our priority lists, might be having to take second, third, fourth place on theirs.

I think sometimes, when reading these boards, we can sometimes fall into thinking that everyone's T has the same boundaries. I read a lot here of people who have a significant amount of contact with their T between sessions and who's Ts seem to be available to them 24/7 - which is fine if that's the agreement they have, but important not to transfer that expectation to every T.

For example I have no contact with my T between sessions other than to discuss changes to arrangements. So I would have no expectation for her to respond to a message of the type you have sent, other than possibly to acknowledge it and say we'd talk about it next session - I haven't tested this, but I'm pretty sure that's how it would go and that she'd want to contain things of this nature to session time only. I also would only expect a response from her within working hours, so evenings and weekends I wouldn't expect anything.

That's my T - you have had some previous communication between sessions before so your expectations will be different than mine, but if you haven't had the conversation about what to expect from her between sessions, then that would be a good one to have next time you see her.

Has she said to you before what you can expect from her in terms of responding to emails?

It might be helpful to think what sort of response you'd like from her so you can discuss that with her going forwards. Personally, I like to know exactly where boundaries are and what expectations I can have, so that would be a useful conversation for me if I were in your position.

 

[Gs172003]

I wouldn't read too much into her not responding to this immediately.

Sometimes I think when we're caug...

No I haven't but I am trying to keep I mind how busy she is, that she has an infant and that she isn't ignoring me though that is what is going through my mind. Ugh

 

[digger]

It is really tough to keep those things in mind at times, but perhaps try and focus on your experience of her to this point and whether ignoring your pain would be typical of her or in character - that might help to counter some of it, and help to affirm that it's not likely to be personal on that level.

 

[Gs172003]

It is really tough to keep those things in mind at times, but perhaps try and focus on your experience o...

Im trying. At one point I thought of firing her :( that's when I posted here. I'm terrible

 

[digger]

. I'm terrible

Not terrible - in pain and struggling. I don't think that feeling the need for some acknowledgement of sharing something so huge is terrible.

At one point I thought of firing her

Not quite the same, but at one point I used to 'quit' therapy in my head every time we were on a break - my T has children and takes school holidays, so we have several one and two week breaks through the year - my head couldn't cope with the abandonment feeling from it so it would jump to 'don't f*cking need you anyway'! It's improved but it's taken time and consistency to get there.