How To Find A Trauma T?

[Symphony]

Are you interested in somatic work, or EFT, or some other modality? (Since you mentioned you don't w...

I'm limited in commute distance- u can't go far despite basically being in a metro area. Unfortunately we have a crop of bad therapists here still in practice back from the Sybil/MPD craze era. Serious shit like false memory syndromes to the point of innocent fathers going on trial. I've got enough problems- don't need made up ones added to my list.

 

[joeylittle]

Have you ever looked into McLean, in MA? They have some residency programs and are very good with complex cases. Also I believe they are very helpful, finance-wise.

Do you know much about Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy? I don't know a whole lot about the safest ways to work with DID - but I do know that if you could focus in on what specific kind of therapy you might want to try, it would make looking easier.

Have you said yet which program you are on a waiting list for? (I forget...and no pressure if you prefer to keep it confidential). What you are describing sounds to me like an inpatient intervention is warranted - like a 14-21 day minimum.

Do you have a clinician of any kind on your side right now? Or was it just the unhelpful therapist?

 

[Symphony]

Have you ever looked into McLean, in MA? They have some residency programs and are very good with...

I had looked at McLean but decided on Sheppard Pratt because I have no way to get to Boston and already know that I don't make much headway in only 2 weeks due to unaffected alters coming forward to adjust us to the new environment. Sheppard Pratt is around 3-4 weeks and I know those alters will run out of steam by week 3 and allow us to be more raw and genuine.

I have a "regular" therapist right now and keep hitting brick walls with getting a qualified trauma therapist lined up.

 

[Suzetig]

Is it reasonable to consider continuing "regular" therapy and just never work on trauma? Because I'm tired of searching. It's been an uphill battle. I'd rather pretend nothing ever happened.

What do you mean when you say "work on trauma"? Are you thinking of needing to talk through all the details, reappraise your sense of what it meant to you, do body work, explore cognitive distortions? There are lots of ways to work on trauma but i sense you have a clear picture in your mind of what that might mean.

My reason for asking is that, for me, working on trauma hasn't looked like EMDR, CBT or any of the more manualised, evidence based therapies for PTSD - it's been very much old fashioned, relationship based, non-psychodynamic therapy. Don't get me wrong, we've explored trauma, worked on emotional regulation and safety and my symptoms have massively reduced. I don't have DID but dissociation is definitely an issue for me. It's been very painful work at times - it has just been much less structured and more client led than would be the norm.

If your current therapist is working for you, the relationship is good, they seem to understand DID and you're seeing progress it may be worth hanging in there for a while and talking to them about what you want to work on. Especially if you're waiting to go to a specialist facility anyway. If you have a clear idea of the kind of work you'd like to do and they can't do it then yes, best to move and search for someone who practices the modality you want to try.

Otherwise when interviewing therapists ask them about their experience of working with your issues, avoid people who want to respond to the diagnosis or label (i.e. Those who's eyes light up when you talk about DID), look for someone that is interested in you and how DID impacts you.

While people might advertise as a trauma therapist there are lots of different types of trauma - having lots of experience of car accidents, health trauma and sudden death is fine but it's different to working with someone who has experience of chronic developmental trauma, or combat, or vicarious trauma so do ask them what they're used to working with.

 

[jedikit]

Oddly enough, I used the GoodTherapy site and the Somatic Experiencing Trauma Institute Provider Directory -- found my SE developmental trauma therapist, both my yogis and my equine therapists listed. All within 2 miles from me even though I live in a rural town 30mi from a metro area. Reading here, I KNOW how lucky I am!

But I'm also still with my very first therapist for bi-weekly "how am I doing today" generic talk therapy. Found her on Psychology Today 4 years ago by seeking out someone who said they were trained in EMDR (not just "experienced in") ...and who looked like they had a calm face.

Check their practice's website. Ask for a phone consult. Ask if they'd do an initial free consult for you to check them out. In that first session they should talk more than you do. Prepare your list and ask a zillion questions (within decorum of course); watch how they respond. Treat it like you're interviewing them for a job and be prepared to get up, shake hands, thank them for their time and say you'll think about it if they don't feel like a right fit. Not everyone is. I got lucky with mine but not everyone does. And that's perfectly okay. You won't hurt their feelings if after the 1st or 3rd or 10th session you want to fire them. Do it and move on, don't look back.

In whatever online database you use, if they don't have a face picture... avoid. If they don't look like someone you think you could stand looking at, telling your secrets to for an hour each week... avoid.

 

[Symphony]

What do you mean when you say "work on trauma"? Are you thinking of needing to talk through all the det...

Yeah my current therapist can't help with DID. We used them for a grief issue and they did well for that then. This is now. They're helping us manage through the weeks until we can find something but aren't skills based. They're more for venting and that is okay and is serving its purpose but does nothing for our internal communication and trying to pass as one person in real life. (we don't aim to fuse/integrate but rather aim to better cooperate)

 

[Suzetig]

I don't know if you're any good with books - not every one is - but I found the workbook Coping with Trauna Related Dissociation very helpful. It has specific exercises aimed at supporting internal communication and cooperation and may be useful while you wait for your inpatient work.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

It's a "my alters are out to get me" thing and I'm exhausted enough to start agreeing with everyone's reasoning on why we should do it.

@Symphony PM me when you can, Have you tried again to get into the Sheppard Pratt TDU? Sounds to me that's where

I don't know if you're any good with books - not every one is - but I found the workbook Coping with Tr...

Yes, I read it in the hospital, and after my Discharge order it and read every word, highlighting things that were applicable to me so I could review later.

It would be good for her to get this book while she is working this stuff out.

 

[Symphony]

Hate to pick on pronouns, however, we're more of a "them" on the boards here because every alter that uses this account has their own gender identity. We don't announce who is taking the helm.

Hope everyone is okay with that.

I'll keep the book in mind. Maybe the library would have it.

 

[Suzetig]

@Symphony I appreciate your reality is of having many parts and possibly different gender identities. This forum is for people with PTSD and while dissociative disorders are parts of some people's reality here it's not something we're catered to deal with specifically.

I think it's a tall ask for people to remember to address you as "they" - for the most part people try to get it right around identity and pro-nouns but I simply can't remember the various ways in which people would like them/their alters/parts/etc to be addressed. If you address yourself in a way that feels comfortable I'll totally respect that but may not get my terminology to match your preference - there's no malice intended, just the reality of how busy the site is and how much I need to keep in mind here.

I hope you're ok with that.

 

[Symphony]

We openly identify as transgender in real life and "they" is the preferred pronoun. It's who we are and it's who I am. There are persons on this board who are not DID and they get to be identified by their preferred pronouns. We deserve the same respect as they get.

When anyone speaks up for themselves and announces their preferred pronouns, it's not for other people to judge based on perceived inconvenience.

Assigned Male explains beautifully how pronouns need to be handled:
https://m.facebook.com/assignedmale...41828.300503316798606/576356902546578/?type=3

 

[Suzetig]

"They" is your preferred pronoun, and that's ok - I know other transgendered people who prefer different pronouns and that's ok too. I also know gender fluid folk who's gender identity changes daily, I have no problem with that either, I don't need a lesson in how you think pronouns need to be applied.

On a forum when people often don't identify their gender, change user names and aren't necessarily around much, or whom I don't interact with enough to keep in mind I can't promise to get it right. There are folk who identify as male or female that I don't get right too - the benefit of an anonymous forum comes with a side order of "I won't always know, and won't get it right". That's before we start on the many, varied and ever changing ways that people choose to identify themselves and how that may differ in real life or on line.