T Disappeared

[woogawooga]

I have seen 7 Ts in the last 6 years. Several were with my ex-spouse. The number of therapists is because of retirement, maternity leave (the T's), moving (I moved), insurance changes, a couple of bad fits, etc.

My current T is missing in action. Been working with T for almost a year with a bit of a break for two months. T missed a session without explanation. Several days later T wrote to say T was in the hospital. I let a few weeks pass and contacted T again to get a general sense of when T might return to work. No response. T works completely alone in a private practice so there is no one else to contact.

We were working on abandonment issues and this situation has me so upset and triggered. I have been crying constantly for much of the last day. T is the only T I have ever completely trusted. I was so excited and motivated to work with this T and we both acknowledged my progress. Now I feel so vulnerable. I know I didn't cause this. It isn't my fault. But I feel like an innocent bystander who is now faced with the possibility of starting over yet again. And frankly, I just don't want to. I don't trust therapy now.

Through my company I was referred to a T who can see me for a few sessions at no cost and I made an appointment. I am already biased against this T because she is not my T. The adult in me encouraged me to do this. But the child in me is having a meltdown.

I've read some similar threads on here. I just wanted to reach out because I am so distraught by this. As if I didn't have enough chaos in my life right now...

 

[Eagle3]

I would be a hot mess if my T disappeared like that, especially knowing he was in the hospital! If I don't hear back from him within 48 hours of asking a question, I tend to obsessively think he dropped dead (kind of like the hypnotist in "Office Space"). I'm actually attached to this T, so I know I wouldn't handle any kind of abandonment right now, even if it wasn't my fault. I'm so sorry you have to walk this out! But it sounds like you're doing the best you can under these circumstances. Hopefully your temp therapist can help you with the abandonment feelings.

Hope your regular T is ok, and you hear back from them soon!

 

[woogawooga]

Thanks. It is so unlike my T to do this. T could be dead for all I know right now. T is very prompt in returning messages so this is really unusual. I did okay for the first few weeks but now it is hitting me like a ton of bricks. If I see T again it will certainly make for an eventful session!!

 

[desiderata310]

ok.. I hate to ask... have you checked the obits?
Have you called around to hospitals? you don't have to go see your T but you could confirm that they are still IN The hospital and that might give you some sense of calm knowing that he/she is just trying to recoup?

 

[woogawooga]

I am too scared to check the obits. But I could ask a friend to look...

 

[Spaced Out]

this would scare me, too. I was also going to suggest checking hospitals, so at least you would know. However, they could be recuperating at home and not even checking their messages.

 

[whiteraven]

I agree with everybody here. This would terrify me, as I have had a lot of trust issues with therapists and my current one is just about the only person in the world I sort of trust right now. Since his "disappearance" is out of character, I would be tempted to, at minimum, Google him, to see if there was anything. Also, have you tried calling his office number to see if he left any sort of an "out of the office" message on his machine?

 

[woogawooga]

Still no word from T. I should call but I have such a phone phobia. I feel forgotten about. What if other clients know what is going on but not me? I feel like the more time passes, the more likely I will have to start over again...

 

[woogawooga]

Well, my therapist is not working anymore at all. I don't know how to grieve this. I don't know how to find another suitable one. I have had so many ones that didn't help. More trauma....

 

[joeylittle]

I'm so sorry @woogawooga.

Normally a therapist should at least help with referrals. Has your ex-T resurfaced? Can they at least give you some suggestions for new people to work with?

 

[woogawooga]

I think T might be incapacitated. My T is not the one who informed me about this. I was told T's practice was closed.

 

[digger]

I don't know how to find another suitable one.

We're you able to attend this appointment...

Through my company I was referred to a T who can see me for a few sessions at no cost and I made an appointment.

Perhaps this is someone who might be able to help you find someone new?