Upset From Permanent Offer

[Mammo]

Hi everyone,

Not posted for a while...looking to get some independent view on something?

Two years ago I got fired:
- by a boss I thought was a Friend, who I had respected and trusted immensely
- example, when I found out my dad still hits my Mother, he was the person I asked for advice on what to do. I had never told anyone outside our family (just trying to put in perspective)
- he fired me 5 weeks later, because he decided he didn't like my personality (his words, not mine).

This happened the same time I was realising maybe not everything in my family had been normal. Work had always been my primary coping mechanism. He knew this.

I was devastated and couldn't work for a year.

Eventually scraped myself off the floor. Been in my new job for a year. I am contracting, which is what I wanted because I was thinking better to keep things arms length with any future job; to try and not care so much; and to change every couple of years so I don't get too attached; I don't really think in terms of "career progression", promotion or development anymore. This is my plan.

New boss wants me to go permanent. Which I know would ordinarily be a "good" thing, but I have found myself very upset, and concerned I may be getting "sucked back in" to thinking this is "real"; that there's some belonging in some sense. I feel torn because I know from experience - it's all fake; these people would and could throw me under a bus also...so is it really worth it?
Thoughts? Sorry I know it's a random question.

 

[The Albatross]

You don't really share what your bottom line needs are here and what if any benefit there is to going permanent.

Past experiences are not necessarily indicators of the future ones. What are the costs of or the benefits of and the consequences of going permanent?

You also don't share... do you think this new employer would be "your friend"? Is that important and if so why.

It is reasonable to be at unease when presented with a new opportunity/situation that we have had a negative experience with... but that was then and this is now. Maybe if you share more, you will get some clarity.

 

[Intrepid]

Growing up in in domestic violence makes it hard for me to recognize a good friend, a good boss, or a good employee. I see everyone through the lens of my childhood.

Last year the company I work at went through some really strong growth. In September the owner fired the sales person who drove the growth and all the customers she brought in. The owner wanted to put his energies elsewhere, but I saw something else at first. I saw him wanting to beat up on me and everyone else for the slowdown in growth. I saw the customers we lost wanting to beat up on us. I saw the customers we retained using this as an opportunity to beat up on us. I panicked and my manager had to put in some effort to calm me down.

I miss the growth. I'm still there because the company has a lot to offer me. I am waiting for more growth so that I have more to offer it.

 

[Freedomfighter]

Hi everyone,

Not posted for a while...looking to get some independent view on something?

Two years ago...

Well, you are discussing a very interesting subject. I think there are many out there that see their employees as nothing but personal slaves. As soon as those slaves are moving towards better options they attempt to "buy" the employee. Permanent employment is favored by most employees because it lulls them into a sense of stability. But in today's job market I do not see real work stability.

It is funny how employers can mirror the acts of abusers. You know: like jealous ex husbands or wives who see the one they used to love move towards much better options that they could ever be?
Sometimes that makes me chuckle, other times it makes me furiously mad.